#565 Moving forward and moving on

Neil Pasricha

We’re all gonna get lumps.

We’re all gonna get bumps.

Nobody can predict the future but we do know one thing about it: It ain’t gonna go according to plan.

Yes, we’ll all have massive highs, big days, and proud moments. Color faded, postcard-streaked blurs will float and flash through our brains on our deathbeds, of wide eyes on graduation stages, father-daughter dances at weddings, and healthy baby screeches in the delivery room. And dotting those big moments will be smaller ones too: fragile hugs with Grandma on Christmas morning, two-year-olds handing you a bouquet of dandelions and saying ‘I love you’, or your boyfriend staring into your eyes and smiling while lazing in bed on Sunday morning.

But like I said.

We’re all gonna get lumps.

We’re all gonna get bumps.

It’s sad but things could happen or hurt you that you just can’t predict.

Your husband might leave you, your girlfriend may cheat, your headaches might be serious, your dog could get smacked in the street. Yes, your kids might get mixed up with tough gangs or bad scenes. It’s sad but your mom could get cancer… or your dad could get mean.

There will be times in your life you’re tossed down the well, too. There will be times you’ll cry yourself to sleep, with twists in your stomach, with holes in your heart. You may wonder if it’s all worth it and you may think that it ain’t. You may wonder if you can handle it or you may beg for restraint.

But when bad news washes over you and when the pain sponges and soaks in, I really hope you feel like you’ve always got two big choices:

1. You can swish and swirl in gloomy darkness forever, or
2. You can grieve and face the future with newly sober eyes

Sure, life has dealt me some blows in the couple years I’ve been writing this site and this book. There was the mind-numbing loneliness of moving to a brand new nowhere town, the broken heart of a major breakup, the searing waves of regret when a friend disappeared, and the general life pressures of starting a new job, living on my own, and trying to make new friends in a big city.

But I’m lucky because I’ve had a way out for the past two years. I’ve had a secret pill to swallow, a magic potion to swirl, and a bubbly cauldron to sip from every time I felt down or felt black or felt blue. And I hope you know that remedy and I hope you feel it, too.

After all, you’re reading it right now.

Yes, awesome things make my life better, people. And I hope they do the same for you.

I honestly can’t go a day anymore without smiling at a couple tiny awesome things in my world. Whether it’s fixing electronics by smacking them, waking up and realizing it’s Saturday, or moving all my wet clothes from the washer to the dryer without dropping anything, these tiny things make a great big difference.

So come on. Come on! Are you with me? Who’s with me? I say if you’ve got a couple fist-pumps in you, if you’ve got a sneaky twinkle in your eye, if you’ve got an itchy old soul that loves smiling at strangers, dancing at weddings, and popping the hell out of bubble wrap, then come on in and join The AWESOME Movement.

Yes, it’s my sincere hope that The Book of Awesome helps those who need it to grieve, move on, and remind them the best things in life are free. For those folks, maybe it’s a ladder out of the well or a dusty flashlight beam in the darkness. For others, perhaps it’s just a little laugh on the back of the toilet, a bit of peace before bed, or a spark for debates about gasoline fumes, alarm clock strategy, or what matters most to you, you, or you.

For me, I know I’ll have more dark days, and I know my friends will too, but I like thinking that snow days, steamy buffets, and the cool side of the pillow will always cheer me through to the other side.

While polar ice caps melt, while health care debates rage on, while buzz saws chop down forests, while wars go on and on, I hope there’s always a special place we can click online in the darkness or flip open for a few minutes to turn off that bright light, snuggle right on up, and get comfy to chat about the sweetest parts of life.

Thank you for letting me take a break to share personal stories about myself and behind The Book of Awesome this week. The comments and emails have been achingly beautiful and wet my eyes many times. I am so incredibly thankful, lucky, honored, and excited to keep going down this road with you.

Thank you for letting our stories all tightly twist together as we all keep moving forward and we all keep moving on.

AWESOME!

—

Feb 21, 2014

Hey everyone!

Today, I’d like to offer you a special invitation. I’ve started a small and private email list to send new writing out for feedback (it’s different — more self-help and businessy!), share weird ideas, and have a bit of fan-club fun. I’d like to add a few more people so if you’re interested, drop a comment below and tell me why you’d like to join. Make sure you use your real email address in the post.

Hope you’re all enjoying 2014! I can’t believe we started this community six years ago now. Your support helps me keep this blog ad free and open forever. Dastardly ads, they can’t take over our space.

Lots of love and high fives,

Neil

Check out The Book of Awesome

Photos from: here, here, here, here, here, and here

72 thoughts to “#565 Moving forward and moving on”

  1. I like how the comment box says “I’ve got something awesome to add” now. I’m glad the comments are back up for this one. This post really means a lot to me. Moving on is so hard for me to do, it takes me longer than it should. I tend to curl up on a ball and not let the world in. As for you email fan club, I am very much enjoying it!!

  2. Neil,
    Absoulutely ,please add me to your new list at this email address.I am a grief counselor for adults and children .Your AWESOME THINGS help me each morning and I pass them onto my clients.
    Keep paying it forward!!

  3. Hey Neil!

    I would LOVE to join your new group! The words “different” and “weird” really got my attention!

    Been a daily fan of yours for two years – thanks for everything – it’s made a huge difference :)

  4. I would like to join the new group. I enjoy your blog so much. Even when the day is bad, I see that it is awesome when my cup handle is turned the right way in the microwave. When I read the awesome things each day, I still have a craving for broccoflower. When things are bad, the bits of awesome cheer me up and when things are good, they make it even better.
    Marci

  5. Your blog makes me smile and makes me cry, and constantly reminds me of the many sweet moments or memories I get to cherish if I focus my eyes on them:)
    Thank you Neil,

    Carol

  6. I found you from the TED talk, in the depths of despair, and you are part of my lift upwards and onwards. I post on a gratitude site as well as my blog, but I come here for a shot of pure joy. I’d love to help you help me, and the world. Surely we all deserve the benefit of the effort of raising ourselves up out of the abyss of gloom.

  7. This post was so timely for me. You rock! I would love to receive emails from you. I read your posts when I remember, and usually when my day has been tough. I am usually still energized the whole next day, finding the “little joyous things” and asking random people if they’ve heard of you. Love this SO much

  8. I’d love to be part of the list. I’ve been reading these emails daily since high school after my english teacher recommended it to me. It’s been with me all these years and definitely cheers me up on the days that seem gloomy and down!

  9. Hi. I watched your TED Talk half an hour ago. I’m an Asian who did my study in Australia in my mid 10’s and moved to Africa in my mid 20’s. I think I’ve proven that your 3A’s are three of the most essential new-continent/country survival gears.

    ps : today (feb 28) is my 30th b’day. Would be awesome to be chosen for something awesome :)

  10. Hi Neil
    It would be awesome to be part of your next project. I was introduced to your work when your first book was given to me as a present. For so many reasons I treasure that gift. It was the start of what has become a daily ritual. It is so reassuring to find someone who takes the time to find and appreciate the little positives in the world.

  11. Hi Neil, I’d love to be on this list. Your daily e-mail has changed the way I view the simplest things in life and see the awesomeness in the everyday things. Things we often take for granted and would never give a second thought to. For instance, after a recent post of yours, I’ll never pour cream in my coffee without thinking “Awesome!” Thanks for everything!

  13. Hi Neil,
    You have created the MOST AWESOME thing and I am truly blessed that you did. My sister and I loyally read 1000awesomethings every day until you reached 1000. We waited that day until we could read it together, and when we opened the page, we both burst into tears! “Whatever you want it to be”. Genius. And we love how your writing makes us feel like you wrote every post just for us. I feel #565 was intended for me today and it is soothing my heart.
    My sister passed away just over a month ago, and now your site is one of the places I go when I want to feel connected to her. She and I also cried together over the loss of your friend, Chris. Our hearts broke you for, and we were immensely touched by your tribute to him. You are amazing.
    I’d be honored to assist anything you create in any way. Thank you for the opportunity. My email address is meghan@sgwr.com.
    Much love,
    Meghan

  14. Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! ::waving hand like crazy to get your attention:: ps-i know this is almost a month old. sorry. put me on the waiting list? :

  15. Ok, here is my awesome moment for the day~
    Cleaning the house on a Saturday, everything is spick and span, the windows are open and the breeze comes in at the end of warm day, feeling like everything is done, and just taking it all in.
    Had a day like this today and it is definitely an awesome feeling!
    I would love to be added to your email group.
    Pax
    Victoria

  16. i have just found your very cool page and i am ‘loving it’ . i cannot wait to read it all, you are witty and charming and i am so hoping i can be added to the group :)

  17. I know I’m about a month late in replying to this post, but perhaps you’re still adding people to your group?

    I’m currently in the middle of teaching, setting up a new business, doing an intensive online course, making major lifestyle changes for the whole family, and still attempting to lead a normal life.
    Sometimes it feels incredibly overwhelming, and in those times, I like to take a breather and catch up on all of the Awesome Things that are still going on around me.

    Business and self-help? That’s right up my alley. :-)

    1. Poor Simon. Ginger always wants other girls boyfriends. But remember, if you kiss I tell.

      -A

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