Author: Neil Pasricha

Ten goods.

That’s a phrase my friends used in high school to express our casual annoyance with minor problems. Extra homework for the weekend? Ten goods. Cafeteria sold out of panzerottis? Ten goods. Tennis ball stuck in the gutter during road hockey? Ten goods.

Now you got it.

Ryan started saying it first and Chad caught on and soon it became one of those made-up phrases we used all the time. It was a secret code, scrambled joke, and private head-nod with its own set of rules on how it was used.

For example! Minor things such as falling off Rainbow Road were shortened to the simple ‘Ten’ with sarcastic eyebrow raise and one-second lip curl. Major things like getting assigned an essay just before the long weekend was met with the long drawl version of ‘Tehhhhhhhhhhhn.’

I’m not saying it made sense but it made sense to us.

Yes, when you hang with a tight pack of peeps long enough it’s amazing how new words start filling the tiny cracks between sounds and sentences. It’s strangely beautiful to see language evolving before your eyes and be part of its creation. Brains suddenly push past booky norms to create clarity in dark vacuums of vagueness.

Just remember — every word we use today came from a group of friends who started using it long ago. So to those long gone packs of chatty teens and wordy queens we say thanks for helping us understand…. everything we’re talking about. And when your group of friends comes up some good ones… make sure you keeping using them and shout ’em out.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

Piling those slow rollers onto your fork and steering them straight into your mouth is Kitchen Table Victory. It requires intense mental focus, steady wristing, and a slow-steering speed.

A little mashed potatoes on the fork also helps.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

I was a cakey mess yesterday.

Before going onstage at The Today Show I was painted up by a friendly makeup artist wielding a messy palette full of assorted bottles and tubes. Clear gels, paintbrushes, and foam triangles came at me in a blurry daze before I teetered back to the leather couch in a blurry haze.

When I looked in the mirror I noticed my shiny forehead, bumpy cheeks, and bright red zits had just … disappeared. Yes, I was in the clear — the proud new owner of a no-money-down-no-interest-till-2012 New Face.

“I could get used to this,” I thought to myself as I blinked and curled my lips into a clown-faced grin. My mind flicked forward to scenes sitting cross-legged atop of mountain of pillows as someone gave me a silky smooth New Face while others tenderly clipped my nails, softly brushed my hair, and gently massaged my pointy hunchback.

Jokes aside, the gang at The Today Show was truly, truly wonderful — supportive, thoughtful, and obviously massive pros. Meredith was a gem onstage. She saw me sweating buckets like a nervous wreck and came over to calm me down before the cameras rolled.

Flash forward a few hours later and I was back in my cramped hotel bathroom wiping soggy tissues down my color-fading cheeks. Pimples came back, mustache hairs said hello, and the forehead bumps got bumpy again. But you know what? The massively refreshing feeling of cool air rushing back to my skin more than made up for looking ugly again.

Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

The jig is up.

Nobody knows what the weather’s going to be.

Not your nannie, not your newspaper, and not that guy on TV. So starting today we’re shredding the five-day forecasts, scrapping those swirling charts, and blowing the hot fronts out the window. Because after closer inspection we all sorta know what we shoulda known before: that the weather is what the weather is right outside our front door.

And as for the day — well who’s really to say? Partly cloudy, chance of showers, it could go any which way. So when it comes to what to wear… well it’s up to you, son. You can plan for a bad day or get ready for a good one.

Optimistic Weather Dressers are the folks walking around dressed for better weather than we actually have. “It’s going to clear up,” they seem to say. “Partly sunny, you mean, not the other way.”

Yes, there are all sorts of Optimistic Weather Dressers but let’s chat about three of the most common types:

1. Open Toe Flo. Sandals are mandatory in this woman’s books. Cloudy, windy, chance of rain – whatever you pick she’ll just wear ’em again. She’ll sandal-step over squished worms, salty slush, and mud puddles because her feet will survive the trip, she figures. She is ruled by comfort only.

2. Bare Leg Craig. This is the guy who wears shorts on the first non-freezing day of the Spring. Snow starting to melt? Shorts! First robin sighting? Shorts! Everybody else still in pants? Shorts, shorts, shorts!

3. No Umbrella Sue-Ella. She’s cruising around town on cloudy days wearing sunglasses without a care, concern, or umbrella. Dark days don’t scare her because she knows big drops aren’t a big deal.

Yes, today we salute the Optimistic Weather Dressers of the world. Let your thin T-shirt flap by the windy seashore as you smile and deliver a firm thumbs up to the rest of the world. Today we salute your bare legs, open toes, and optimism, my friends. Today we declare you

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

Surprise!

While mindlessly dragging your hand between the couch cushions, sweeping the backyard patio stones, or searching for extra batteries in the junk drawer a tiny foiled egg suddenly appears like a sugary gift from the heavens.

And when you score that surprise chocolate dropping just remember there can be absolutely no stopping before quick-peeling and quick-popping that chocolate straight into your mouth. Time of day, hunger level, age of chocolate — none of this matters. Frankly, if you’re stuffed on breakfast pancakes and the chocolate is powdery white and tastes like foil from two Easters ago… that is victory.

Yes, finding a chocolate egg way after Easter is an eyes-wide moment of taste-based wonder.

Finding a chocolate egg way after Easter is

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Office jobs are tough.

I know we cubicle farmhands aren’t exactly hammering diamonds in dusty mineshafts, landing planes in snowy storms, or performing emergency appendectomies.

But still — what we’re doing is complex mail merges to make envelope labels, compiling meeting minutes, and stapling through very thick piles of paper.

It’s demanding.

As a result, sometimes it’s tough getting through the week. When cloudy mornings, barking bosses, and long meetings got you down it’s time to get smiling with some office treats. Today we say thanks to the guy who brings them in — usually in one of five ways:

Level 1: Email Scrambles. A mass email is sent out reading “If anyone wants leftover brownies come to Sheila’s desk NOW!!!” Be careful because if you’re away from your desk you have to listen for slamming keyboard trays and quietly shuffling gang herds swishing down the hallway. When you spot a sugar rush like this there’s no time to waste — just jump in and get going. Slowing to tip someone off means no brownies for you. (2 points)

Level 2: Treat Fairies. This is the plate of lemon danishes someone leaves on a filing cabinet in the hallway or the box of donuts sitting in the lunchroom from yesterday night. Office raccoons like myself love finding goodies from Treat Fairies but they lose marks for freshness and selection. (5 points)

Level 3: Post Vacation Sugar Nation. Who came back from Japan with a bag of animated cat-themed jellies? Who got home from Switzerland with smooth chocolate loving? And what nut brought that bag of Ketchup chips from Canada? Yes, Post Vacation Sugar Nation help us forgive you for doing all your work for two weeks and they score points for their limited time nature and big surprise factor. Unfortunately, we can’t rank them higher due to the off chance of eating a candy-coated scorpion. (10 points)

Level 4 : Holiday Treatery. It’s all about that random moment near Christmas when cookies suddenly appear everywhere. When the admin’s homemade shortbread dukes it out with the Vice President’s expensive store-bought fudge the big winner is your stomach. See also: Girl Scout Cookie Scattering, Post-Halloween Dump, and After-Easter Eggathon. (15 points)

Level 5: Local Favorites. My friend Kristen works in a cubicle farm in smalltown Wisconsin where the local treat is a pastry called the Kringle. She told me that one guy brings Kringles to the office and everyone gets a special flavor which becomes their identity. She hates it when Banana Nut hogs the photocopier but loves it when Vanilla Cream ends the meeting early. You get the idea. Bringing in personalized local faves is the ultimate in Office Treatery. (20 points)

Yes, there are so many ways to get the treats going and the office flowing for the Friday night Funrise. So today we’re giving handshakes and high fives way up to the high skies for all those noble Cubicle Warriors bringing sugary sweets and tasty treats to pump us up for the weekend.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, here, and here

When the bass kicks in the song kicks up to a whole new part of its game. Your head starts grooving, your arms start moving, and everything inside you just wants to dance.

AWESOME!

Why hello, little cup of strawberry-banana punch. How you doing, pepper-dill crackers? Don’t mind if I do, spicy salami wrapped around a piece of melon.

Yes, eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying is a great way to stay on top of what’s happening at the grocery store. You swish the new drink, chew the new gum, toss back a tiny cup of the new pasta dinner, and introduce your tastebuds to a little surprise.

Assuming you don’t actually like the product, maybe you do what I do and pretend you’re going to buy it anyway so you don’t hurt the sweet, heavily lipsticked Sample Lady’s feeling. So you pick up the box of dry crackers, salty salami, or all-noodle-no-cheese lasagna and say, “Hmmm. $4.29? Not bad, not bad. And I get a fifty-cents-off coupon too? Hmmm.” Then you smile back at her, toss it in your cart, and say, “Why not! Thank you very much!”

Then you roll out of sight and guiltily drop it in another aisle.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

I started writing 1000 Awesome Things on June 20, 2008 as my life was swirling and twirling.

It seemed like every day was cloudy as every morning I’d wheel my car up icy onramps straight into red-light traffic jams to head to my office job in the suburbs. Then I’d wheel back home the same way, every day. Frozen burritos and back pain, up those ramps and down again, my life seemed stuck in neutral with a black scribbly cloud above my head.

One night after work I went online and typed “How to start a blog” into Google. Ten minutes later I wrote #1000 Broccoflower for a quick smile before bed. As my marriage crumbled like crackers, as my best friend sadly took his own life, I was trying to push from back pain to grass stains and from microwaves to wedding buffets.

Nobody visited the site except for my mom. Although I did get pretty excited when she forwarded it to my dad and the traffic doubled. Then on July 18, 2008 Fark.com linked to old, dangerous playground equipment and thousands of people suddenly came in waves. It was strange thinking that cyber travellers spinning on the other side of the planet maybe thought broccoflower was funny, too.

And here we are in 2011 after jotting down one awesome thing every weekday for the past three years and it’s been such a rush. I feel so massively lucky that I’ve had a few extra hours each week to chat with you all about bakery air, rain hair, bubble wrap, and illegal naps.

The Book of (Even More) Awesome comes out today and the first book has been #1 on bestseller lists for a year. Cybernerds called us best blog in the world and next week the awesome movement hits The Today Show before flying around to meet awesome believers everywhere.

I don’t know how to thank you for all of this.

The only way I can think of is to say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for listening, thank you for commenting, and thank you for spreading our big screaming all-caps word of

AWESOME!

Flap, flap, flap.

It’s gut check time.

Scientists suggest the fluttery feeling of buttery flies in your tum tum just comes from blood flowing away from your digestive system and zooming everywhere else in your body. Yeah, you know how it goes: your beady-eyed pal adrenaline starts playing that fight-or-flight soundtrack and suddenly it’s fists at ready, legs at the ready, everything else on standby.

Ten hut!

Ears awake, eyes open, deep breaths in bed, let’s get all systems ready for the big day ahead.

Because when you get the good kind of stomach butterflies it means you’re burning and buzzing about a big day. After rehearsing for months your play finally comes, after that electric first kiss you’re dreaming about bliss, after practicing all year the big game is here.

Yes, when your mind opens up, when your path starts to clear, when you know where you’re going, when you start to get near… well those are the moments we live for and those are the times to go long, yes those are the moments to go for and those are the times to be strong.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here and here