Really outgoing two year olds are the friendliest people on earth.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

Life’s too short to be uncomfortable.

Look, we already figured it out at nighttime: baggy flannel keeping you cozy in the cold, smooth and silky underthings slipping and sliding in the sheets, and extra-large sweatpants and thin fraying T’s help keep us relaxed when we’re sawing wood and breathing Z’s.

Yet somehow during the day we’re fine stiffening ourselves up: high heels, skin-tight jeans, and tight bras mean we’re often uncomfortably pretty.

That’s why wearing pajamas outside of the house is such a great move. It’s like you’re finally admitting to yourself that being comfy is worth it.

Here are some classic ways to pull it off:

1. Picking someone up from the airport. My friend Evan and I once got a late-night pickup from his wife Sim who peeled into the parking lot wearing thick glasses and a slippery winter coat over full-length PJs. Hey, she figured she wasn’t leaving the car so why change into daytime clothes?

2. College dining hall. Back in college we used to eat on the ground floor of an all-male residence. So it was pretty common seeing pimply nineteen year olds in plaid pajama pants, jagged bedhead, and slippers slurping big bowls of Corn Pops in the corner.

3. Walking the dog. Whether it’s the midnight stroll in the dead of winter or the early morning walk before the sun comes up, it’s always a classy move to roam the hood in pajamas, a tattered robe, and maybe some furry pink earmuffs.

4. Going to the corner store for milk. There’s no dress code at the corner store: strolling in slippers, strutting in sweats, that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s perfectly fine. Just make sure you tuck your pajama pants into those giant salty snow boots for good measure.

Wearing pajamas outside of the house smears nighttime comfort into daytime fun. Sometimes it’s good to escape our fluorescent world of shirt-and-tie expectations to just cozy into the cuddly realm of being comfy and being cool with it.

AWESOME!

Photos from: Karl Gunnarsson, here, here, and here

Works on underwear, milk, and babies.

If it smells bad it’s bad.

If it smells good it’s

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

I eat out a lot.

I’m not proud of it but living alone downtown surrounded by greasy burger joints, neon sandwich signs, and late-night pizza places means I’m often tempted to trade a crinkly fiver for a waxy-wrapped package in a paper bag.

Sometimes I step into the zone of an empty sub shop or barren pizza place and it feels like I’m walking onto a late night talk show stage. Someone’s filling napkin dispensers while another chops tomatoes and they’ll be joking like Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon. They’ll be in tears laughing at something funny from a few moments before and I won’t know if someone dropped a jar of olives on their foot, a customer ordered a slice of pizza for their cat, or the boss got beet red because nobody ordered receipt tape for the register.

No, I won’t know what’s going on but if I’m lucky they’ll invite me onstage.

Just a few nights ago I walked into a greasy hole in the wall with my friends Nick and Julie and two guys behind the counter were having some sort of hilarious engaging argument. When we walked in they turned to us quickly and one of them immediately yelled out “Hey … what’s a perm?”

We laughed and Nick jumped in quickly to clarify: “What, you mean like in someone’s hair?”

“Yeah, exactly bro. Like, one of us thinks it’s when you make your hair curly and the other think it’s when you make your hair straight. Which one is it?”

He leaned on the cash register with his fist under his chin and with the furrowed brow and squinty eyes sort of looked like a modern day version of The Thinker, only wearing a paper hat. The other guy was laughing behind him while pulling a dripping basket of wet fries from the bubbling hot oil.

“I dunno, I think it stands for permanent,” Julie started up. “Like, anything you do to permanently change your hair in a new way. So … you’re probably both right. Or both horribly wrong.”

A few seconds later we were having mock-serious debates and laughing out loud in a tiny hilarious connection in our dusty neon world. It was a great moment and it made me realize that joking with the staff is always a great time.

Yes, whether you’re laughing with the ladies at the laundromat, trading barbs with the barbers at the shop, or joking with the jail guards in the joint — well, it just means you nailed your cameo appearance onstage.

Congratulations on a great walk on performance.

Today you win the Best Supporting Actress of

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, here, and here

Snores are steam trains, clock radios are car alarms, and the neighbor building a deck outside is suddenly knocking urgently at your front door.

When the sounds around your sleeping self magically morph into new stories in new worlds it’s a sign that the plump pile of pink flesh floating inside your head bone has a pretty wild imagination and is capable of turning tiny things into big ideas.

Your eyes are closed, your fingers limp, and your breathing is as deep and rhythmic as ocean waves … but lightning flashes in your brain, faces flash and stories strain, as you float deeper and live longer through otherworldly travels and thoughts.

When you wake up don’t forget to keep bubbling with big ideas, race those winning races, and keep your heart beating fast in heart beating moments.

Being a dreamer is great fun.

Being a dreamer is

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

Flip the switch.

After touch-feeling your way past the bed frame and slow-peeling your way under the sheets you blindly slip and shiver into the cool and cozy comfort of your beautifully dented bed.

And whether you’re giggling in the bunks with your brother, whispering in sleeping bags at a slumber party, or just lazing around on a sleepy Sunday morning with your wrinkly sweetheart of fifty years… well isn’t it a beautiful moment when you’re suddenly smiling in pitch blackness and laughing in a pajama-clad moment of intimacy.

Laughs in bed are a little bonus at the end of a long day.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

Your brain is glue.

Long after the cars are finished off-roading up a mountainside or speeding around a cliffside bend the jingle-jangly tune that accompanied those smooth rolling moments is still smooth rolling around your head.

Yes, it bumps around your brain at the office and you find yourself finger-tapping the steering wheel home. It jumps around your brain in the shower and you find yourself humming when you’re all alone. So maybe you search online for broken lyrics until you find spam-filled discussion boards full of other people looking for the same tune.

But that’s what makes it so great when you ask your friends, you wait for it again, you look online, and eventually find those few blissful minutes of soul-strumming

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

First you wait.

Cold wind whips you on the lonely platform as you shudder and shuffle in the rain. Whether you’re catching the commuter train downtown, backpacking home from college, or visiting in-laws out of town you’re alone in that barren platform zone, baby.

So you wait … and wait … and wait … and wait… and wait… and wait… and wait…until!

There is a light.

Yes, staring down those distant rails you spot a tiny yellow light glowing like a flashlight of hope at the top of dark well. Reflections flicker and shine off the metal rails and suddenly your desire, dreams, and destiny all twist into a long string of giant metal cars rushing and rumbling towards you.

Crowds jostle and businessmen sigh while bells start ringing and babies cry. If you’re lucky you might get that whisper-flipping sound of a thousand panels in an old train schedule board flipping all at once while the chugging engines and screaming steam whips the wind together and that streaking steel finally slows to a screeching stop.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here

It makes you feel like a genius.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here

It’s more than a pour.

Watching a bartender work really fast is like staring through the factory glass and watching all the whirring parts bump and grind before your beautiful finished drink pops out. Yes, you’re the foreman in a hardhat standing with a clipboard and a smile watching all the bells ring, springs spring, and assembly lines ding before a glass full of ice, cherries, and umbrellas pops out right before your eyes.

Now, there are some key moves mastered by most really, really fast bartenders:

1. Throwing things. There’s no time to place the bottle cap in the trash can so it’s important to fling it off the mirror and let it Plinko down between all the vodka and Peach Schnapps bottles on the bar.

2. Absolutely no talking. In a way really, really fast bartenders are like really, really fast mimes. Usually they’ll raise their eyebrows or put their ear in for the order and then immediately start slicing lemons, stirring glasses, and squeezing taps without speaking. Black clothes and painted teardrops optional, unless you’re in a goth bar.

3. No official measurements. Forget the rules because really, really fast bartenders trust their eyeballs and know their mix ratios cold.

Yes, when you watch a bartender work really fast you’re seeing an expert in action. Eyes are focused, feet are fleet, and hands are steady in these beautifully intense scenes of quick pours, expert fills, and fast and furious moments of

AWESOME!

Photos from: here and here