Your brain is a machine. Yes, that soft and squishy lump is bursting with colors and pictures and people and places and smells and sights and sounds. Your brain knows things it hasn’t even told you yet. Sometimes it surprises you with forgotten flickers, crystal-clear connections, or moments of sparkling intensity. Lightning bolts zap, connections […]
It’s time to get down with the get down… At the movies! Your arms bearhug fat tubs of popcorn and slippery jumbo drinks as you blindly stumble down the dark aisle. You scan the chattery crowd dotting the red plushy tundra before noticing your friend thirty rows up giving you the two armed wave. At […]
I was bad at Kindergarten. Yes, growing up a small, frightened, sheltered kid meant my daily drip to Grade 0 was the same as blasting me to the moon for six hours a day. I was helpless and alone, down on my own, in a cold and distant unknown. Honestly, I was so shy I […]
Etched and sketched into the spider web recesses of our brains are all kinds of cold storage items and garage sale knick-knacks we don’t really use anymore. But once in a while it’s fun to reach back, back, way back, and discover that our creaky treasure chests are holding bits of buried gold. Realizing you […]
Time is an illusion. Baby, we’re all just spinning, gninnips, spinning. Electrons spinning in our tall, fleshy bodies, spinning on our big, wet rock, spinning in our bright, white solar system, spinning in our deep, dark galaxy, spinning in our brain-bustingly big universe. Listen, this never ending swirly-twirly headtrip can be a bit much sometimes, […]
When I was six years old my math skills suddenly took a steep tumble, so my parents whisked me off to the eye doctor who twiddled a bunch of knobs and eventually concluded that this L’il Squinter couldn’t see the blackboard. Unfortunately, instead of asking me to drink a glass of carrot juice every morning […]
Have you ever run the last leg of the relay? If you have then you know it’s a stressful experience, because you either make it or break it. I mean, you’re either ahead and it’s up to you to hold the lead, or you’re behind and it’s up to you to make it up. Everyone else […]
You know when you can just feel that popcorn kernal stuck back there in swampy recesses of your mouth and it’s totally infuriating? Yes, your tongue slides past its smooth surface unsuccessfully, your toothbrush’s flimsy bristles just can’t shake it, and even your fingernail can’t quite unwedge it from the tight molar deathgrip it’s stuck […]
#1000 Broccoflower #999 That last, crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips #998 Getting grass stains #997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away #996 Opening and sniffing a pack of tennis balls #995 Finding money you didn’t even know you lost #994 Waiters and waitresses who bring free refills […]