#998 Getting grass stains

First of all, getting a grass stain means that you were running around at high speeds without proper equipment. Maybe you slid last-minute to avoid a frozen tag or made an awkward, somersault dive at a line-drive wiffleball. Either way, the grass stain symbolizes your large, devil-may-care investment in having balls-out fun, and that’s something worth respecting.

See, boring people, like myself, rarely get grass stains running around because we’re always doing it in Umbros and shinpads from 7:30 to 8:25pm on Mondays down at the indoor Sportpark.

Now, when you’re just running around full throttle in cords and a sweater until you trip on a rock and fall down a hill, my friend that is something. Walk home with pants full of grass stains, some spicy kneeburn, and mud-caked shoes, and you’ve just had yourself a great day.

AWESOME!

Hold on to that cookie!

125 Comments

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125 responses to “#998 Getting grass stains

  1. Freddo

    Awesome thing #998.1: That picture.

    Not only is the kid running around, loving life, and getting grass stains, but he has the presence of mind to save his cookies! You can almost hear the thoughts running through his head: “to heck with these white pants.. I’ll even sacrifice this well-before-its-time hat to the tell-tale streaks of green summer fun.. but for the love of god, I AM SAVING THESE COOKIES FROM TOUCHING THE GROUND!”

    I hope that after he fell, he just layed back in the summer sun, his eyes lightly shaded by the wide brim of his cap, and just chomped down on the oatmeal raisins all afternoon, grass stains and cookie crumbs be damned.

  2. Old Fart

    Freddo, I doubt you’ll see this comment but I wanted to remark on how AWESOME I think your comment is.

    I saw the photo and felt the same way, then I read the comments section (comment) and you perfectly put into words what I was thinking. Save the cookies!

  3. Tom

    So, is this photo a stock photo from someone’s “Kid who smartly does not sacrifice cookie” Web site as the previous commenters said, or was the photo taken by the blog author?

  4. Neil

    Nah, the picture just is from a Google Image search — the very kind people who own it said I could use the picture, so I just dropped it on there. Honestly, I didn’t even notice the cookies until you guys pointed it out. But I do agree that it adds to the awesomeness.

  5. Hey everybody — I’m the photographer, and that boy is my son, Gregory. I love Freddo’s comment! Back when Gregory was little (he’s 7 now), I used to write down cool things he said or did. That picture was posted along with the “quote of the day” on May 23, 2002. It said: “19-month-old Gregory was playing in the backyard wearing stone colored khaki pants that later became stone-and-grass colored khaki pants. When he came inside he studied the grass stains on his knees carefully, then finally said, “Uht oooooo.”

    The picture was captioned, “How you get grass stains.”

    I always loved that he saved his cookies! Now that’s he’s 7, saving the cookies is still very much a priority for this young man!

    You can see lots of pictures of Gregory and his brother, Bradley, playing in our yard in this awesome slide show. My favorite!

    Thanks for the extra smile today! :D
    -jules
    Julie Walton Shaver Lifestyle Photography

    • Craig, Melbourne, Australia

      I love that the photographer has been able to fill these details in – thanks Jules. When you just gotta know the story behind the picture – the web is Awesome!

  6. I’m actually working on a photo exhibit right now, kind of in the style of Jill Greenberg, of children falling down and eating grass, concrete, metal stairs in the middle of summer, etc ad infinitum. I use a high speed film so I can catch the trip, the moment of impact, and the post-impact. Tears are good, but blood is much better.

    • Haley

      I should be saying you’re sick..but it actually sounds very interesting. I would pay money to see that exhibit.

  7. Lane

    Difficulty 1.0
    Execution 9.85
    Artistic 10.0 !!!!

    That will surely be enough to see the medal stand, Jim.

  8. Jason

    I need to get some more grass stains. I have not had them in awhile.

  9. Terilee

    This has totally made my day!

  10. trappazoid

    YOU went outside, YOU had fun and
    YOU don’t care how dirty yo’ jeans are!

  11. OMG I TOTALLY LOVE THAT! Even though I hate it because my its always my favorite jeans getting stained! But still, the feeling is just amazing!! : )

  12. EmoPrInCeSs

    I never [well hardly] sit on the grass because of my hayfever. So it is very unlikely I would get it! hehe ;]

  13. Your web site is beautiful. I wish you continued success.

  14. Chandra

    It’s kinda sad being the type of person that never gets grass stains ’cause she is too scared of getting dirty. :( Even when I was a kid. I know I missed out.

  15. best article I read about this yet!

  16. Hiya , when viewing at your site i experience some type of strange codes all through the page, in case it’s critical I just considered I’d let you know it says this with all kinds of other stuff after it: “Warning: Cannot modify header information. It’s probably me though.

  17. I love the blog. I found a funny site earlier today. I needed to remove a blood stain from a t shirt. the site is called 10 Worst Stains.

    Now, if I could just find a site to tell me what to do with the body!

  18. Hi great blog yea nice job Your blog is so informative keep up the good work!

  19. Great post! I really enjoyed this topic and can’t wait to read more!

  20. Mitch

    Hehe my mom always used to get mad at me because I would always come home with grass stained shorts and knees, with scabs and cuts galore, from a awesome day of riding my bike!

  21. Cathy

    For the first 16 or so years of my life, I had grass stains probably almost every day (when there was grass, that is). My poor mother would grumble and pull out the stain remover on a daily basis.

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  23. Stiku

    Oh god, I love grass stains! And I love tumbling down a hill in the summer, it’s the ultimate freedom! :D Can’t wait to do it again!

  24. Nestor

    that´s just awesome when u play around get grass stained it´s been a while since i dont get a grass stain i have to get soon

  25. I’ve always liked the way grass stains smell. Yeah, I know… but it’s not as weird as the alarming number of people who “love the smell of gasoline.” Those people are the real freakidoos, not me.

  26. Outdoor kickball in DC is the place to get grass stains. Hadn’t had one in a loong time until I started playing

  27. Kat

    This one brings me great joy!!!

  28. I’m allergic to grass, so grass stains aren’t very awesome to me. Hospital bills for the allergic reaction I’ll have aren’t awesome, either. Sorry, but I can’t agree on that one.

  29. Joing

    Cool Site!!!!!!

  30. Welcome First time skipped here on your site, founde on ASK. Thank you for the quick response. Your information was very detail and knowledgeable.

  31. I like to post this comment .It helps a lot.The one thing I do know for sure, if that day comes, is that when it’s wedding cake cutting time, I will NOT make the same mistake I witness at every wedding. I will not be serving Champagne with dessert, but rather the slightly sweet and fizzy dessert wine.

    Thanks and Regards

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  33. Freddo: as they say, a picture is worth 1000 (awesome) words :)

  34. I l0ve skidding on the grass and getting grass stains on my new jeans this is meant 2 b on of the most awesome things ever

  35. I get those all the time!

  36. Usefull article can i have your permision to translate into Italian for our sites readers? Thanks

  37. Very detailed post can i have your permision to translate into German for our sites readers? Thanks

  38. Of course, what a good internet site and informative posts, I will add backlink – bookmark this website? Regards, Reader.

  39. Amie

    lol my brothers were so bad for this, right up to grade eight (soccer is messy) though i was probably just as bad most of the time, they ended up ruining a lot more pants :P

  40. keara

    i love this :p and its so true. whenever i got hurt riding my bike when i was a kid, i would walk so proudly back home. you’d think i’d just won the worlds awesomest person award.

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  43. Sue

    Hey, I’m 50 and I still get grass stains. And for all of you out there who have to try and get the grass stains out, especially of white clothing – here is my mom’s fail-proof remedy – put the freshly washed and still wet clothing items to dry, flat, on the grass outside on a sunny day. The sun “lifts” the chlorophyll from the grass and, also, it lifts the grass stain out of the clothing. But watch out for dandelions – don’t put the wet clothes on dandelions- they leave yellow stains!

  44. wendy

    There is one “clean way” to get grass stains and keep your neighbors smiling…Just try to dry “home-grown-greens” in your clothing dryer, like a bunch of us did in the 70’s…OR NOT!!!
    I go right Gary Larson, “Far Side” on “grass stains”…don’t want anyone to lose their cookies… I too am a cookie monster, and why exactly was Katie Perry kicked off Sesame Street anyway… I hear she’s a nice girl!
    Well, that’s all I got on “grass stains”, lest I get kicked off Awesome-Land:)
    Just one final note on “home-grown”, don’t ever try to dry it in your clothes dryer…one clean way to get them

  45. Jason

    Last year the first guy from my group of friends got married. I was one of his groom’s men, and we did some assumingly cool outdoor photos (I’ve not seen them yet, so I can only assume they’re cool!). Well, the photographer decided we all needed to jump off some large rocks while standing on a hill. I enthusiastically did so, but with total lack of grace and slipped and got grass stains on my rented tux!

  46. Nive

    I read about this awesome! site in a Reader’s Digest article and thought that I should definitely check it out… and man, this doesn’t disappoint me at all! Though I couldn’t relate to some of those things, The chips thing really had me! Cool work Neil, and I can say that you have succeeded in connecting with people, whether it be Canada, America or India!

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