#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away

Neil Pasricha

There are so many different levels to this classic gag.

There’s Version 1.0 which involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and the slow rolling drive away while the victim knocks on the window and pretends not to care. This version is Locking People Out Of The Car And Pretending To Drive Away Lite, a tame version of the gag intended to induce a few giggles without any tense moments. Just some G-rated comic relief for the long drive home. Version 1.0 is the most commonly practiced version out there and is the officially sponsored and recommended version by 1000 Awesome Things.

Trouble

Next up is a version that’s a bit more advanced than Version 1.0 but not quite at the level of Version 2.0. We’ll call it Version 1.5, also known as The Big Tease. The Big Tease works as long as the victim leaves their car door open. That open door is critical to pull it off. To execute, the driver simply waits until the victim is approaching the car and then drives away slowly with the door hanging wide open like a big tease. The Big Tease works fine on small or large cars, but is especially effective in vans with sliding doors. You’ve got that big van door just sitting there wide open and the victim may figure it’s worth running and jumping for it. There’s really no telling what could happen in this situation. Just remember to be safe out there.

Next comes Version 2.0 which involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and a complete drive away, lap of the gas station, and return after a minute or two. Big difference here is that Version 2.0 dials up the fear notch a little, instills a tiny bit of bootshake in our helpless victim. When the car comes back some name-calling goes down, but nothing too serious. Still — this one’s not recommended for children twelve and under. Let’s call it Rated T for Teen.

And then finally there’s the grandaddy of them all, the one and only Version 3.0. A real cooker, Version 3.0 involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and a full-out drive away into the sunset, without any eventual return. The victim is left curbside, casually spooning up a McFlurry as they walk around for a couple minutes, expecting the car to come sweeping around the corner any second. But no… the car never comes back. Unless practiced in walking distance of the victim’s house, Version 3.0 can be devastating. And it’s rarely executed and not recommended for obvious reasons: its potential to destroy relationships…to destroy relationships…forever.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

129 thoughts to “#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away”

  2. ha ha, love it!
    Best movie version: Little Miss Sunshine. Of course, that was an unintentional occurance, but still awesome.

  5. yeah my husband think this is funny to do. Bet it won’t be so funny when I leave him somewhere. ;)

    1. how does one person make this obvious things soooo funny. … thanks for this ha

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  7. Hey, just discovered your site. I gotta say I think this trick is awesome… but from personal experience, there is a pretty good rebuttal to version 2.0
    One a trip in Slovakia with some friends I had the indignity of just not being able to wait for a bathroom.They pulled up in a semi-secluded park and I relieved myself in one of the filthiest places I’d ever seen, probably peeing on dead bodies in this park/trash heap.

    Sure enough my friends took off and got back on the highway, hoping to scare me into a mess of tears when they returned. I sprung into action, taking off my shirt, as well as my left shoe. I took the soda (which was the instigator of my forced bathroom and conveniently red), and spilled it suggestively on the ground. I then proceeded to lie face down in between the shoe, shirt and spilled soda with my wallet held in my outstretched arm and waited for my friends to return.

    It was one of my proudest moments, managing to not only terrify my friends but also confuse the hell out of unwitting Slovaks who saw someone remove half his clothes and then lie down in filth. My girlfriend’s uncontrolled sobbing and claims that ‘it’s not funny to joke about that kind of thing’ were only a slight dampening factor on one of my finest moments.

    1. That is a very fine moment indeed!! =) Personally, I’ve always hated this ‘trick’ in any version! It’s only funny for the driver! :P For those of us ‘locked out’ . . . thanks Seth, for making a point!! :) lol

    2. Niiiiiice!!! If this ever happens to me I will have to be on my toes to remember this. It could backfire if someone decided that the “Dead Man” didn’t need his wallet anymore, a necrophiliac shows up, or they decide to do Version 3.0 and you end up laying there and people walking by really thinking you are NUTS and then finally realizing they are not coming back and you must become a Slovakian to survive. Then you would feel even more worthless. I think from now on I will always carry around a small bottle of red food coloring hanging on a chain around my neck. It sure wouldn’t hurt!! :)

    3. OhMyGosh. That was one of the funniest things I have ever read. That is a great story! I wish I would be that smart if this ever happened to me. I always do this to my sister, but the Version 2, definitely not doing the Version 3, that would result in an endless responsibility discussion from my mother. Ha. Good story! Thanks for sharing!

    4. LMAO that is so hilarious, I think I will try it the next time my boyfriend pulls a stunt like that. Thanks for the idea!

      Mary

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  10. My favorite version of this is driving away very slowly with the passenger side window rolled all the way down, and my friend comes dashing up, screaming “Wait! Wait!” and throws herself in through the open window, landing in the passenger seat upside down, legs hanging out the window still.

    It takes some timing practice to get right, but it’s priceless, mostly for the entertainment of unwitting bystanders.

  11. A teacher I knew saw she kicked her ex-husband out the car while they were going through the Holland Tunnel NY. BTW this woman is pretty ruthless so I believe her.

    Recently I did the opposite to my baby sister, she was walking in front of my car and I put on the gas.

  12. I HATE when people do this to me ! Its okay the first time, but if they do it more than once, I get REALLLLLY aggravated. Hahaha.

  13. I love version 1.5. The only thing better is when the helpless victim decides to make the jump into the open door and unwittingly goes flying by as the driver, also unwittingly, stops the car to let them in. A simultaneous cacophony of daring, sympathy, and finally hilarity. Simply amazing.

  14. 3.0…. When you are sleeping in the back while your mom stops at the last rest stop before driving into Canada from the US. She goes in first, and unknowingly to her you get out and go. You come back out, and you see her driving away about to head across the border.
    Really funny when this happened to me. As I watched her drive away I realized there was nothing I could do as I knew she couldn’t hear me. So I just stood there and chuckled to myself, knowing that eventually she’d figure it out. They must have thought she was nuts at the border,

  15. Great website, but I think the funniest version of this scenario comes from the late night touring of the country side on a double date when finally one poor sucker cannot “hold it’ any more. As they jump out to quickly relieve themselves behind the vehicle, the driver waits until he see’s another car approaching and begins to pull away, the sight of the mortified passenger hopping with their pants around their ankles after their ride is priceless! Guys think it’s hilarious to do to us girls and us girls still married them anyway……

  16. The two first ones are really good, and can be very fun and humourous for all of the people involved. But I would not recommend #3. I would’nt even think about it.

  17. In between version 1.5 and 2.0 should definitely be the one where you drive away. stop. and wait till the person reaches the door. then drive an extra meter. several times, and then you lock the door while the person shouts “guys this isnt even funny” and then you finally unlock the door at the same time they pull the handle, thus resulting in them still being locked outside the car haha

    1. Oh my god like in Scary Movie 4 with the car, and the dude, and the- haha frickin’ hilarious!

  18. My brother and I pulled 2.0 AND 3.0 on another brother ON THE SAME DAY, whenever brother #2 needed a cigarette break on a two-hour road trip. It did put a big dent in the relationship…but we (brother #1 and I) still laugh till our bellies hurt over the whole thing. Brother #2…probably not so much.

  19. Lmao loves it!

    My mom would do this to me ALL the time when I was in middle school. Sometimes she’d make me run after the car.

  20. Ahh!!!! My folks do this to me all the time :) It is definitely awesome, because I know that they wouldn’t just leave me behind. Ever :)

      1. What my family does is when the person goes inside, we move to the side of the gas station so our car isn’t visible from the front door. Then when the person comes out, they look around and are completely clueless to us in the car laughing our butts off!!

    1. Good – not that you will read this since “You are never coming back”! – We don’t want people with no sense of humour here anyway. Get a life and laugh a little!

  23. ahh, I have been a part of version 1.5 before… lunchtime in high school, in the middle of main street, friend running late, the van moving, door wide open… oh yes, my best friend jumped into the car in front of the whole high school. what fantastic fun!

  25. I’ve done version 1.5 with my sister while she was getting the mail. I teased her for a bit until she was in a slight jog beside the car, getting up the nerve and some speed to make that daring jump. She got a small hold on the inside door handle just as I applied the breaks. We both broke out in hystarical laughter as she crumpled into the door. :D
    My older sister has also done version 1.5 to me with the van, but I made a nice swift, clean jump. Let’s hear it for not missing. :P

  26. Does it still count if you take off with your friend’s car the morning after a party and leave him sleeping on the couch with a strange girl (which seemed entirely appropriate at the time)? We went for breakfast and figured he’d call when he woke up and realized that his car was gone… left his phone in the glovebox… walked fifteen kilometers home with a hangover in the late summer heat. We were only three blocks away.

    More importantly, should I still feel bad about it, being that it was completely unintentional? (It’s so easy to walk right past those fine lines when your eyes are crinkled shut by the warmth of a hearty, but devious chuckle.)

  27. What would you call leaving someone in Walmart at midnight and driving to the very farthest regions of the parking lot. Once they finally realize you aren’t in Walmart they come out and find the empty parking spot. Then you honk, so they see you WAY out in the distance. Well then said victim walks all the way out to the car, only to have the car pull away and park back in the original parking spot by the door to Walmart. The person then walks all the way back to the car in its new spot, only to have them drive away again and park somewere else. Eventually said victim runs around chasing the car. It is quite entertaining

  28. Too funny!! I used to tease people all the time…my little sister and my little cousin. I would slowly act like I was driving off and make them chase the car. It never got old!!! But I do feel kind of bad about it. I would do it in public, how embarrassing for them.

  29. haha me and my friends do a slightly different version of this, we lock the friend out and watch and laugh as they try to open the door, then make them prove their gender to get back in. yelling “prove your a girl!!” and watching them flash the car in a crowded parking lot always brightens up my day.

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  31. When I was in 5th grade, my best friend’s mom did the version 1.5 to us about 20 times in one day as we drove around the neighborhood putting fliers in mailboxes. Each time we would leave the doors open and jump back into the car. By the end of the day, we were expert jump into the car-ers.

  33. Funniest version we played was when we gave a friend a lift from town back to our place. At a certain crossroads, my DH turned around and said to me “Right, you can run home from here” and pushed me out ( it was about 6 miles from home), and drove off with friend looking horrified from back of car. The gag was that I was actually in need of a training run and had agreed in advance to jump out and run from this x-roads.
    It was great to hear the following week that “X kicks his wife out and makes her RUN home!!”

  35. Why has this happened to you, that you have oh so cautiously warned us about ending relationships?

  36. ok, here’s something my husband & I do occasionally. we don’t have a garage door opener, so I get into my car, hubby & daughter wait outside of the garage, I back out, he closes the door, and as soon as they start walking over to the car, I start slowly backing out, and they have to keep on walking down the driveway along with the car. This is so awesome!!! Remember, he does it to me, too, and we all just burst out laughing!!!

  38. I just found your site on my iPhone while waiting for my soon-to-be ex to return to the gas station.

    NOT FUNNY!!! NOT COOL!!! NOT AWESOME!!!

    Bastard!

  39. This is my everyday life. there has not been a day in my life when im catching a ride with friends or my mom comes to pick me up where i can just hop in the car. no sir, i have to sprint and jump hoping im close enough to catch the inside handle so i can have a ride home, but you know what?
    i think it’s AWESOME.

  40. Ugh. This is a stupid, rude lame joke only played by insensitive selfish losers.

    It’s never been done to me, but I’ve sseen it done to others, and I hate it.

    I don’t get people who get their jollies by being mean to other people and laughing at their confusion and fear.

  41. I’ve been a victim of the Version 3.0

    It’s so awesome, yet so not.
    I was about 9 miles from home when deserted, and so I just stopped at the closest Starbucks, casually bought a White Chocolate Mocha, and smiled the entire way home, thinking “Man… I hate you guys. So much. <3"

    One of the best walks home I've ever experienced.

  42. haha ohemgee! my mom does this to me all the time at school, and in my apartments, im 18 yrs old and it couldn’t be more embarrassing, but my friends and i like to do it to others too. so it never stops being fun!!

  43. my boyfriend once excuted the last version on me and a friend. actually he did come back eventually but we had already scammed a lift of someone else…it was a long time before we looked back and laughed about it.

  44. this happened unintentionally to my younger sister and I (3 yrs and 6 yrs old) many years ago. Our bathroom break took a long time because we found a warped mirror that made us look funny so we played for a while. When we came out the car was gone and we were left. My older sister never said a word to my parents. Apparently she was just happy to have the back seat all to herself and let my parents drive off. We were rescued about a half hour later and the gas station man gave us ice cream.

  46. That happened to me when I was in high school on our way to a gymnastics meet up state. We all got out of the two cars to go to the bathroom at an old gas station by the side of the highway. Well, I was having stomach problems (if you know what I mean), and as the last two girls left the restroom, they said, “Are you ok?”, and I said “Yes, I’ll be right out.” I thought about saying – Make sure you don’t leave me behind, but I figured they knew I was in there so I wouldn’t be left. But after a while, I guess they forgot or thought I got in the other car, and when I came out, both cars were gone. Each car of girls thought I was in the other car. It was really scary for me because I had no way of contacting them and didn’t know if they would ever figure out I was missing before reaching our hotel hours away. This was in the ’70’s – no cell phones then. I didn’t know whether I should get a ride to the next gas station (which was most likely miles away) with a stranger or just wait. I was afraid to get in the car with a stranger, yet I was afraid to be at the gas station all night. Would they be waiting at the next station for me? Would they turn around while I was driving up? So, I just waited, and about a half hour later they pulled up and I was so relieved. Someone figured I wasn’t in either car. Thank God!!!

  47. I have a pretty good rebuttal if in case you are the victim of this prank… If the driver is going slowly, kick the tire as hard as you can then look like you’re in a tremendous amount of pain. They will stop, feeling horrible for running over your foot. Works every time :) The awesomeness on that end is the “I’m not really hurt but I knew what you were doing” smile you give them when you hop back in the car.

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  49. This unintentionally happened to my older brother way back in the late 50s/early 60s on a family vacation. We stopped at a gas station somewhere in Tenn or NC (in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of road construction). He got out without my parents realizing it ( they thought he was asleep). We took off after gassing up – I knew he wasnt there, but failed to tell them. After 15 minutes or so they realized he wasn’t in the car. We turned around and found him at the edge of the lot, arms crossed and feet tapping, NOT happy at all!.

  50. I have four siblings and 6 cousins, and on the “Big Family Gettogether” I was somehow abandoned at a truck stop, because all of the adults thought I was with someone else. I was 9, alone, at a truck stop with a bunch of scary old men., and no cell phones. They came back three hours later to me tearfully chain-scarfing doughnuts behind the diner counter.

    I never forgave my mother, or my cousin, who turned out to be the mastermind of it all “Rachel’s riding with Aunt Kathy my ass.”

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