#973 Sleeping in new bed sheets

Neil Pasricha

Come on in!

You know the feeling: you just spent five minutes chasing all the corners of the elastic form-fitting bottom sheet around your bed and then you laid and tucked the top sheet tightly into the mattress. You found some pillow covers in the linen closet, squeezed and shook your pillows in there, put your blanket over all of it, took a deep breath, and then just dove right into the fresh, cold, mothball-smelling sheets.

New sheets are great because they don’t smell like The Sleeping You, with your armpit hair all squishing around in there all night, your drool leaking all over the pillows, and your crusty old feet flaking off into little piles of dead skin shavings at the foot of the bed. And let’s not forget the hot farts you pop out when you’re sleeping, too. Don’t deny it! We’re all disgusting when we’re asleep, and new bed sheets are great for letting us temporarily escape our own filth.

Really, only one thing can add to that new bed sheet feeling and that’s when it’s your first seasonal sleep in thin, cotton summer sheets or thick, linen winter sheets. As you close your eyes softly, crickets chirping outside your window, moonlight and tree branches shadow-dancing on the walls, you know right then and there: It’s going to be a good night.

AWESOME!

59 thoughts to “#973 Sleeping in new bed sheets”

  3. I take great joy in farting in bed. The horrible part is when you have a significant other and they also enjoy farting in bed. Farting is AWESOME- Unless you’re covered in someone elses fart.

    This has prompted me to go wash my new sheets, spray them with febreeze and dive in. AWESOME.

  4. I can go a week without showering but I can’t sleep on dirty sheets! A fresh set of sheets with a splash of linen spray is the best feeling. I just sprung for a set of luxury sheets from elegantlinenspc.com – now those are AMAZING…when clean of course =)

  5. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  6. Don’t forget about the things we do in our bed sheets when we’re not alone. After all, those are the nastiest things of all.

    Although, sometimes it gets nasty with only myself. You got me…

  7. I got something better. When I’m making the bed, my cat has this game he plays where he perches at the head of the bed; when I floof the sheet up to let it settle down over the mattress, he goes shooting between the sheet and the mattress with a very aggressive, determined purr. Then he curls up in there, buzzing like all get-out, while I make the bed over him and bury him in bedding. Sometimes he’ll even play “Chase My Tail” while the blankets are layered on. He always finds his way out, usually to the opposite side.
    He also tries to catch the wrinkles in the bedsheets. He pretends he’s defending me from snakes.
    Yes, he’s a ginger cat. They’re a nutty breed :3

  9. The best feeling in the world has to be clean sheets, clean pajamas and clean you, fresh from the shower, its absolute bliss, especially if you’ve been out all day and are exhausted and achey!

    2. Only thing I could add to that is when the new sheets are fresh from the dryer. So they’re still new and crisp, but they’re warm. When you’re exhausted and achy, slipping into freshly laundered sheets is the -best- form of pampering after a hot shower.

  10. Seasonal sheets, eh? I guess you know you’ve made it when you’ve got seasonal sheets.

    +1 to Abi. Of all life’s luxuries, being clean, warm, and well-fed in bed — especially after dealing with the antithesis of these wondrous things — really make life.

    Having the shoulder for a friend to rub their eye-socket into mid-slumber, in an innate show of unconscious comfort really is the cherry set.

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  17. Oh my god yes! I love my mom for this, that feeling when the sheets just come out of the dryer smelling like baby soap, and feeling very warm and soft. It feels soo good when you’re laying in bed at night, you’re sheets smelling awesome, and you fall right asleep!

  18. Dude I hate making my bed with the under sheet, its rather annoying trying to slip it over all the corners!

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  22. What is more awesome than just new sheets is line-dried smelling like sunshine sheets. Absolute heaven.

  24. I hate sleeping in new sheets, just like I hate wearing a new shirt, until it been through the wash. Got nothing to do with cleanliness. I find the unwash material scratchy – drive me nuts.

  25. Hi there, I couldn’t see a way to email you, and so I really hope that you see this comment. I have a website about beds, and wondered if you would like to swap links with me. I have entered my email address in case you choose to get in contact. Thanks.

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    1. Sounds familiar~ a lot like one of our all time favorite, classic musicals~
      “Fiddler On The Roof”
      and I agree, “If I were rich woman, da-da-da-da-dede-dede-da-dum” ~:)

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  41. Sleeping in new bed sheets is something really awesome, it is so cozy and I feel so clean, that could make my night better. I feel I sleep much better, when they are new, it is like ” you don’t smell The Sleeping you”. When I am far away from my house, I also want so hard my bed with new bed sheets. I love new things, it is so pleasant and I feel happy, so for me sleeping in the new ones, also makes me happy. It’s relaxing!!! Sometimes I wish I could have my bed sheets changed everyday, but then I think that it wouldn’t be so enjoyable, because it will be something normal. I spend the whole week waiting for my glamorous night.

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  46. Major department stores carry both name-brand sheets and house-brands and offer a wide range of colors, quality, patterns, and prices. You might have a specialty linen store near you that has more luxury lines or decorated or embroidered bed sheets. Or you may choose to shop on-line where the options are almost endless. If you have something specific in mind, shop around. But if you’re after basic sheets, you might find a good bargain at a discount store. You’ll have lots of choices.,

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  49. My problem is the bottom sheet always popping off the mattress. New bed sheets are great when they fit well and the elastic is new but after laundering many times the elastic dies out. Drawstring sheets solved my problem. Once they are tight that’s the end of it. I tried the suspenders and the clips but I might as well go to work for a hotel with all that effort. Check them out here.

    http://www.drawstringsheet.com/

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