#377 Taking your pants off

Cavemen didn’t wear jeans.

Nope, hiding from mammoths, bashing saber-tooth skulls, and setting up the cave was tough enough without furry leg-warmers chafing their hairy thighs.

And, it wasn’t just them either: Free-legs living was The Thing To Do for the past hundred thousand years until a bunch of horse-riding Persians invented pants back in the sixth century BCE. Presumably, they were sick of getting back-of-the-horse burn from bumpy rides and frustrated with the poor selection of creams and lotions at their local Megamart. But hey, if you were riding horses in the nude I’m sure you’d agree with wearing all pants all the time too.

Flash forward to today and pants are a massive worldwide hit. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, it’s pants, pants, pants. Togas, kilts, skirts, they tried, they tried, but they just couldn’t find the secret key to international popularity.

Nowadays we wear pants for warmth at the ice rink, hygiene on the subway car, or denim paper towels in the basement bathroom bar.

But even though they’re handy and helpful, pants have a downside too: yes, I’m talking about crotch creases, tight belts, and ass-jammy wallets all day. Sure, maybe you’re used to them, maybe you’ve accepted pants wearing, but maybe sometimes … sometimes … sometimes … they just get in the way.

If you’re with me, say hey.

If you’re with me, stop and stay.

If you’re with me… it’s okay.

Maybe you know how great it feels enjoying that moment of sweet release when your legs finally bust free of the shackles of everyday living. Slap open that heavy buckle, unzip that tight fly, and collapse backwards onto your messy bed as you sloppily kick-peel that pair of tight jeans down and off your fabulous legs.

Next time you take your pants off make sure to stop for a moment and let your legs see the light … let them feel the air… and let them enjoy being beautifully free and beautifully naked and beautifully


Photos from: here, here, here, here, and here


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51 responses to “#377 Taking your pants off

  1. Laura

    One of the best feelings E V E R!

    I guess the world would be a pretty awkward place if no one wore pants …

    I have an idea! World, let’s make a deal: sweat pants, track pants, yoga pants, pajama pants — these are the new acceptable forms of bottom-wear for both work and play. While not as awesome as being pants-less, it’s better than wearing dress pants and belts (and better than having a nude-rendezvous with your boss)!

    I laughed so hard at this one. Not to be redundant but … I love the way you write. You have a beautiful brain.

  2. Yes! Nothing like peeling off a pair of skinny jeans at the end of the day and feeling circulation return to my ankles!

  3. Kirsten

    I just got home and took my pants off before I read this…

  4. It’s awesome, but in that really weird way. The first thing you do when you get home after taking off your shoes is taking off your pants. I must be getting old…

  5. TrixieRix

    This is awesome but it’s nothing like taking off your bra at the end of the day. Once, I got so impatient I took mine off in traffic on the way home. :)

  6. Alice

    Oh but the absolutely best way to take your pants off is letting your boyfriend do it for you!

  7. Katerina

    The most common expression my roommates hear from me when we are about to go out: “Hold on, I have to put my pants on.”

  8. I’m really not comfortable in jeans at all. The pants I wear to work are the dressy pants and I could wear these all day, every day (well…I kinda do anyway) But on weekends when I wear jean, I seriously love it when I peel them off and slip on a pair of pajama pants

  9. Hillary

    I hate pants. In college my roommates and I never had on pants unless we were going out in public.

  10. Erin

    I have never posted a comment before, but I had to this time. Every morning before we get dressed, my boyfriend and I say with exasperated voices, “I guess I’ll put on pants…” It’s one of my least favourite parts of the morning, besides the actual getting up part. I have also found sweatpants that look like jeans, just so I can go out in public without anyone being any the wiser.

  11. Rolls

    You know, I’ll pay a TON of money for a pair of jeans that are soft enough so that I dont feel like I am wearing jeans….when I could just not wear them at all. Makes no sense!

    But then, neither does getting fired and/or jail time :)

  12. williambryce

    I secretly agree

  13. Jeff

    Taking my pants off is one of the first things I do when I get home.

  14. Tiffany

    I often tell my friends I don’t like wearing pants and they think I mean I’d rather wear shorts.

    I just wish I could walk around without pants at all times. My life would be tens of percents better.

  15. Natalie

    Wearing overalls is the next best thing to not wearing pants!

  16. I love the look of skinny jeans, but you are right, nothing feels better than getting home and taking those suckers off. Freedom!

  17. Cat

    No one should EVER wear overalls.

  18. Judy

    But as my friend’s eight year old says: Make sure that someone’s wearing underwear before you “pants” them.

  19. LauraHelen

    To combine this with #876 – within 5 minutes of walking in the door at the end of the day, my pants and my bra are off. Sometimes, they don’t wait until I get home, I’ll admit to unzipping and unhooking in the car.

  20. I’m known among my friends as the one who hates having pants on and who will peel them off at the first opportunity. There’s little else that is more awesome than that moment in each day.

  21. jdurley

    Sounds to me like all y’all are wearing pants that are too tight. :)

  22. Chris

    I don’t really mind pants. Maybe it’s because the kind I wear are sort of baggy and not tight. In fact, usually I’m too lazy to take them off.

  23. Freddo

    I’ve been holding off on posting in this comment thread, waiting for a good opportunity to jump in with a “that’s what she said”..

    Unless of course, what “she said” was that she found her skinny jeans way too uncomfortable.

  24. This is one strange post. BUT – you can learn a new think every day…

  25. Depent who wear the pants at your home..

  26. Tootie

    Oh yeah! But please…keep your fanny covered until you get home. Grabbing your privates to be sure your pants don’t fall down in public is…well, too gross.

  27. Hilary

    i personally think, taking your pants and socks off in one fluid motion, should be a subtopic of this. Ever stretched out your little piggies after a days work of uncomfortable confinement? Now, that’s a sweet, sweet feeling.

  28. wendywithaurora

    Well, this is one of the happiest places to be… gauranteed sweet dreams.
    I am giggling, laughing smiling at all the comments I’ve read just today… what with skinny dipping, pants off and surprise packages in a box in the mail, reminding me of the boys of SNL Christmas special song, reminding me…okay, before I go all Betty White, I’d better say Good night:)
    Sweet and Awesome dreams everyone and Thank you all so very much:)

  29. My friend and I were arguing about an issue similar to this! Now I know that I was right. lol! Thanks for the information you post.

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  31. riding horses in the nude- cheeky.

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