#377 Taking your pants off

Cavemen didn’t wear jeans.

Nope, hiding from mammoths, bashing saber-tooth skulls, and setting up the cave was tough enough without furry leg-warmers chafing their hairy thighs.

And, it wasn’t just them either: Free-legs living was The Thing To Do for the past hundred thousand years until a bunch of horse-riding Persians invented pants back in the sixth century BCE. Presumably, they were sick of getting back-of-the-horse burn from bumpy rides and frustrated with the poor selection of creams and lotions at their local Megamart. But hey, if you were riding horses in the nude I’m sure you’d agree with wearing all pants all the time too.

Flash forward to today and pants are a massive worldwide hit. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, it’s pants, pants, pants. Togas, kilts, skirts, they tried, they tried, but they just couldn’t find the secret key to international popularity.

Nowadays we wear pants for warmth at the ice rink, hygiene on the subway car, or denim paper towels in the basement bathroom bar.

But even though they’re handy and helpful, pants have a downside too: yes, I’m talking about crotch creases, tight belts, and ass-jammy wallets all day. Sure, maybe you’re used to them, maybe you’ve accepted pants wearing, but maybe sometimes … sometimes … sometimes … they just get in the way.

If you’re with me, say hey.

If you’re with me, stop and stay.

If you’re with me… it’s okay.

Maybe you know how great it feels enjoying that moment of sweet release when your legs finally bust free of the shackles of everyday living. Slap open that heavy buckle, unzip that tight fly, and collapse backwards onto your messy bed as you sloppily kick-peel that pair of tight jeans down and off your fabulous legs.

Next time you take your pants off make sure to stop for a moment and let your legs see the light … let them feel the air… and let them enjoy being beautifully free and beautifully naked and beautifully


Photos from: here, here, here, here, and here

51 thoughts on “#377 Taking your pants off

  1. One of the best feelings E V E R!

    I guess the world would be a pretty awkward place if no one wore pants …

    I have an idea! World, let’s make a deal: sweat pants, track pants, yoga pants, pajama pants — these are the new acceptable forms of bottom-wear for both work and play. While not as awesome as being pants-less, it’s better than wearing dress pants and belts (and better than having a nude-rendezvous with your boss)!

    I laughed so hard at this one. Not to be redundant but … I love the way you write. You have a beautiful brain.

    1. Agreed! Skinny jeans, while cute, suffocate my legs and taking them off at the end of the day is the best! My legs can finally breath!

  2. This is awesome but it’s nothing like taking off your bra at the end of the day. Once, I got so impatient I took mine off in traffic on the way home. :)

    1. I agree with the bra thing. NOTHING feels better than whipping that baby off before making dinner after a long day at work.

  3. The most common expression my roommates hear from me when we are about to go out: “Hold on, I have to put my pants on.”

  4. I’m really not comfortable in jeans at all. The pants I wear to work are the dressy pants and I could wear these all day, every day (well…I kinda do anyway) But on weekends when I wear jean, I seriously love it when I peel them off and slip on a pair of pajama pants

  5. I have never posted a comment before, but I had to this time. Every morning before we get dressed, my boyfriend and I say with exasperated voices, “I guess I’ll put on pants…” It’s one of my least favourite parts of the morning, besides the actual getting up part. I have also found sweatpants that look like jeans, just so I can go out in public without anyone being any the wiser.

  6. You know, I’ll pay a TON of money for a pair of jeans that are soft enough so that I dont feel like I am wearing jeans….when I could just not wear them at all. Makes no sense!

    But then, neither does getting fired and/or jail time :)

    1. I’ve seen an infomercial for “pajama jeans”. Good idea, but I have a feeling they don’t look the same in real life as they do on TV.

      1. LOL…I’ve seen those pajama jeans. How rediculous are those things?! If I was going to go out in public wearing pajamas, I’d wear my Happy Bunny or snowman pajamas.

  7. I often tell my friends I don’t like wearing pants and they think I mean I’d rather wear shorts.

    I just wish I could walk around without pants at all times. My life would be tens of percents better.

  8. But as my friend’s eight year old says: Make sure that someone’s wearing underwear before you “pants” them.

  9. To combine this with #876 – within 5 minutes of walking in the door at the end of the day, my pants and my bra are off. Sometimes, they don’t wait until I get home, I’ll admit to unzipping and unhooking in the car.

  10. I’m known among my friends as the one who hates having pants on and who will peel them off at the first opportunity. There’s little else that is more awesome than that moment in each day.

  11. I don’t really mind pants. Maybe it’s because the kind I wear are sort of baggy and not tight. In fact, usually I’m too lazy to take them off.

  12. I’ve been holding off on posting in this comment thread, waiting for a good opportunity to jump in with a “that’s what she said”..

    Unless of course, what “she said” was that she found her skinny jeans way too uncomfortable.

  13. Oh yeah! But please…keep your fanny covered until you get home. Grabbing your privates to be sure your pants don’t fall down in public is…well, too gross.

  14. i personally think, taking your pants and socks off in one fluid motion, should be a subtopic of this. Ever stretched out your little piggies after a days work of uncomfortable confinement? Now, that’s a sweet, sweet feeling.

  15. Well, this is one of the happiest places to be… gauranteed sweet dreams.
    I am giggling, laughing smiling at all the comments I’ve read just today… what with skinny dipping, pants off and surprise packages in a box in the mail, reminding me of the boys of SNL Christmas special song, reminding me…okay, before I go all Betty White, I’d better say Good night:)
    Sweet and Awesome dreams everyone and Thank you all so very much:)

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