You know the feeling: you just spent five minutes chasing all the corners of the elastic form-fitting bottom sheet around your bed and then you laid and tucked the top sheet tightly into the mattress. You found some pillow covers in the linen closet, squeezed and shook your pillows in there, put your blanket over all of it, took a deep breath, and then just dove right into the fresh, cold, mothball-smelling sheets.
New sheets are great because they don’t smell like The Sleeping You, with your armpit hair all squishing around in there all night, your drool leaking all over the pillows, and your crusty old feet flaking off into little piles of dead skin shavings at the foot of the bed. And let’s not forget the hot farts you pop out when you’re sleeping, too. Don’t deny it! We’re all disgusting when we’re asleep, and new bed sheets are great for letting us temporarily escape our own filth.
Really, only one thing can add to that new bed sheet feeling and that’s when it’s your first seasonal sleep in thin, cotton summer sheets or thick, linen winter sheets. As you close your eyes softly, crickets chirping outside your window, moonlight and tree branches shadow-dancing on the walls, you know right then and there: It’s going to be a good night.
AWESOME!
29 Comments
July 29, 2008 at 12:24 am
You hit the nail, right on the guy’s head. :)
July 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm
New bedsheets aren’t just awesome. They are SUPER awesome. Nice one, Neil.
July 29, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I take great joy in farting in bed. The horrible part is when you have a significant other and they also enjoy farting in bed. Farting is AWESOME- Unless you’re covered in someone elses fart.
This has prompted me to go wash my new sheets, spray them with febreeze and dive in. AWESOME.
August 11, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I can go a week without showering but I can’t sleep on dirty sheets! A fresh set of sheets with a splash of linen spray is the best feeling. I just sprung for a set of luxury sheets from elegantlinenspc.com – now those are AMAZING…when clean of course =)
August 12, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!
October 19, 2008 at 6:29 am
Don’t forget about the things we do in our bed sheets when we’re not alone. After all, those are the nastiest things of all.
Although, sometimes it gets nasty with only myself. You got me…
October 23, 2008 at 12:20 am
I got something better. When I’m making the bed, my cat has this game he plays where he perches at the head of the bed; when I floof the sheet up to let it settle down over the mattress, he goes shooting between the sheet and the mattress with a very aggressive, determined purr. Then he curls up in there, buzzing like all get-out, while I make the bed over him and bury him in bedding. Sometimes he’ll even play “Chase My Tail” while the blankets are layered on. He always finds his way out, usually to the opposite side.
He also tries to catch the wrinkles in the bedsheets. He pretends he’s defending me from snakes.
Yes, he’s a ginger cat. They’re a nutty breed :3
December 8, 2008 at 8:34 pm
u know wats even better fuckin in the new bedsheets
December 16, 2008 at 9:58 pm
How…lovely of a post from you, random dude.
January 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm
The best feeling in the world has to be clean sheets, clean pajamas and clean you, fresh from the shower, its absolute bliss, especially if you’ve been out all day and are exhausted and achey!
January 27, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Seasonal sheets, eh? I guess you know you’ve made it when you’ve got seasonal sheets.
+1 to Abi. Of all life’s luxuries, being clean, warm, and well-fed in bed — especially after dealing with the antithesis of these wondrous things — really make life.
Having the shoulder for a friend to rub their eye-socket into mid-slumber, in an innate show of unconscious comfort really is the cherry set.
April 28, 2009 at 9:12 am
weee super fun and i love making my nest on bed sheets
June 24, 2009 at 9:02 am
Yesssss!!!!! I’m obsessed with this!
November 23, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Ewww…..
December 17, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I love sleeping in newley washed bed sheets it sooo comfey, and soft!!!
December 21, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Very great products & designs .
As they said healthy clothes are cotton made .
Long time & safe using for old and children men or women
http://cottonnthings.ecrater.com
February 21, 2010 at 10:42 pm
[...] #973 Sleeping in new bed sheets [...]
March 13, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Oh my god yes! I love my mom for this, that feeling when the sheets just come out of the dryer smelling like baby soap, and feeling very warm and soft. It feels soo good when you’re laying in bed at night, you’re sheets smelling awesome, and you fall right asleep!
March 13, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Dude I hate making my bed with the under sheet, its rather annoying trying to slip it over all the corners!
March 17, 2010 at 12:46 am
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March 30, 2010 at 2:46 pm
[...] #973 Sleeping in new bed sheets [...]
April 10, 2010 at 2:42 pm
[...] and range from #827 Saying the same thing as a sports commentator says just before they say it, to #973 Sleeping in new bed sheets, and #886 High fiving babies. Neil’s blog only cost him $10, the price of registering a [...]
April 21, 2010 at 10:04 pm
What is more awesome than just new sheets is line-dried smelling like sunshine sheets. Absolute heaven.
April 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Love new bed sheets. They are awesome!!!
April 30, 2010 at 5:45 pm
I hate sleeping in new sheets, just like I hate wearing a new shirt, until it been through the wash. Got nothing to do with cleanliness. I find the unwash material scratchy – drive me nuts.
May 13, 2010 at 5:06 am
Hi there, I couldn’t see a way to email you, and so I really hope that you see this comment. I have a website about beds, and wondered if you would like to swap links with me. I have entered my email address in case you choose to get in contact. Thanks.
May 22, 2010 at 3:55 pm
best ever…
June 15, 2010 at 2:37 pm
[...] felt that the bed needed a new character. Yesterday I bought some new sheets and they’re AWESOME!!!! 500 thread count per inch, cool blue and slippery, not really allowed-for in my budget but [...]
August 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm
[...] #973 Sleeping in new bed sheets [...]