Sure, the first couple days of not showering have a bit of a dirty-cool, hippieish, roughing-it feel to them. You come into your own, letting the deodorant wash away, the hair get full of scraggly-knots, and the sweat dry into your clothes. If you’re camping, you are at one with nature. If you’re at home, you’re at one with lazy weekend. If you’re traveling, you’re at one with delayed, multiple-stopover international flight.
Either way, you’re at one in your dirty Zen moment. And that’s cool.
But whether it’s a day, two days, or even a week later, it eventually hits you: You need a shower, bad. And you ain’t gonna to get one till you get home. Suddenly, you don’t want to be a hippie no more.
Then you start thinking about it. And you keep thinking about it. You start to notice dirt stains building up on your arms and legs. You smell the thin film of leftover bug spray and sunblock on your skin. You comb a dead earwig out of your hair while collecting sticks for the campfire. Your scalp gets really, really itchy. And let’s be honest: your groin region isn’t in the best shape, either.
Yeah, that’s why the first shower you take after not showering for a while feels so good. You can actually feel the dirt washing off you. The white soap bar turns a bit darker and you use a week’s worth of shampoo as you work your hair into a massive Lather Afro. The shampoo gets in your ears, but you don’t mind. There’s sand in there anyway. Your sunburns and scrapes get washed out. Your tightly wrenched neck gets massaged by the warm water. Your nose gets a good blowing. And you wash all the bits of spider web, campfire ash, and lake algae off your face.
Then finally, you’ve returned.
Fresh, sparkly, and squeaky clean, you’ve completed your soapy metamorphosis back into the old Clean You we remember. Yes, your hair is shining, your skin is soft and streak-free, and your scalp is rehydrated and ready to rock. Plus, let’s be honest: That groin region is now totally…
AWESOME!
20 Comments
September 4, 2008 at 1:24 am
There is nothing like the said cleaning then hopping back into dirty crusty clothes .ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
September 4, 2008 at 6:50 am
I think it’s important to make sure that you have this shower in the morning, just to get the feeling of feeling utterly disgusting even more powerful due to having just slept like…. that.
September 4, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I took a week long bike ride this summer, and sure we showered in high schools and porta-showers. The last day 60 mile ride back to my car, followed by the drive back to my apartment, and finally in to that warm steamy bathroom was beyond Eden. AWESOME.
September 4, 2008 at 7:55 pm
I feel this way everyday! I LOVE being clean, I LOVE the shower.
I could never be on the show “Survivor” because I need my shower! :)
September 7, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Went camping in the Wind River Wilderness (WY) for two weeks without a shower. My first shower back…
AWESOME!
December 28, 2008 at 5:15 pm
First shower and shampoo after being in the hospital and having surgery……..pure d bliss!!!!
January 22, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Two people’s work schedules, two kid’s school schedules = 8 trips/day in one car average. Throw in a 4-year-old who demands feeding every hour and a half and then demands playtime when he isn’t taking one of his five-minute naps… and the endless house/yard work that needs to be done in those five minutes…
I’m lucky to get in the bathroom for anything but the toilet. By the time I stake out some hygiene time. I’m usually ready for the two-hour-boiled-alive-soak-bath!
January 22, 2009 at 8:24 pm
4 MONTH old. Feel free to kill me if I ever raised a 4 year old to be this dependent.
March 21, 2009 at 6:53 pm
oh god yes. feeling the scorching hot water dissolve the slime away is pure friggen heaven
April 1, 2009 at 12:51 pm
The first one’s too much yuck and hard work, and you know there’s no way you possibly got all the dirt off. The SECOND shower after getting really dirty is the best because you can just enjoy the warm water instead of having to scrub meticulously.
April 15, 2009 at 12:41 pm
This topic is quite hot in the net right now. What do you pay attention to when choosing what to write about?
April 18, 2009 at 6:01 am
Actually the body is designed to take care of itself. I had this debate with my mom when I was at her house the other day. Here Ill prove my point….
-Think of an animal
Scent is the strongest memory. I am willing to stake that besides the smell of a wet dog you dont recall any odors (feces and urine doesnt count). So why doesnt your pet cat smell horrible?
It all comes down to bacteria. We are for the most part 100% covered in micro-organisms all the time. Even if you shower daily. This is called our flora. When you bath you kill off large amounts of that flora which is rapidly repopulated with whatever organisms are able to spread the fastest. Unfortunately the fastest colonizers are ill smelling bacteria that cause foul odor. We then smell ourselves and think “oh no I need a shower bad”
Whats funny is if we werent to jump to the conclusion that bacteria equal bad we could begin to understand it as a far more complex process of millions of different species competing for the niche that is our dermal surface. We would have a far better understanding of hygiene. Just as in our macro world there are mushrooms and noxious smelling plants there are the micro world equivalent flora which can invade like weeds. The body evolved in a world without cleansing with synthetic chemicals though and is more then equipped to handle this invasion. We have become so dependent on artificial mass extermination of the flori that it takes us a while for our natural defense to kick in.
I have actually completely given up showing. I do not smell and do not have any external buildup of dead skin. My skin is firm and I look great. Heres my alternative cleaning regime.
After waking I enter the shower and spray myself down with a rose petal/pumpkin pie spice/vanilla/green tea extract I make myself.
Before bed I spray down again this using my finger tips to massage the liquid into the skin. After that I apply a thin layer of extra virgin olive oil over my body/face and massage in as well. Do not over apply or youll stain your sheets. I do this about an before bed so it has time to absorb.
I started this a few months ago because I was feeling sick and everytime I showered Id have this dry chemical soaked feeling. I was remembering an article I read about how our bodies are designed to eat a different diet then what were consuming everyday. We evolved as hunter gatherers and the foods these people(our ancestors) ate are what we became designed for. I started thinking of how many artificial synthetic chemicals we use in bathing. If drinking milk and eating junk food was responsible the “big four” heart attacks/strokes etc then what were all these chemicals in shampoo and soap doing to our skin? I pondered how our ancestors would have used aroma for themselves and remembered something about ancient people using flower petals. I went into my garden and took five or six roses that had or were near blossom through them in a pot of water and boiled it into a tea with a lid to trap in any volatile chemicals thatd escape from evaporation. I also through in a little pumpkin pie spice. I then mixed in a TINY amount of pure vanilla extract after it was done boiling and had cooled. Straining the liquid I couldnt help but love the fragrance. I added some organically grown white tea (no sweetener ofcourse) for its antibacterial effects on many species of bad microbes and viruses.
In the end Im very happy I switched over to this natural form of cleaning. It allows my body to maintain a healthy flora/ great skin/ amazing hair/ and the best part an attractive scent consisting of natural aphrodisiac aromas found by science to increase sexual desire in men and women.
If anyone gives this a try write back and tell me how it works for you. Haha since I came up with this I guess we’ll call it the Jet Cleansing Regiment :)
April 26, 2009 at 7:19 pm
I used to go camping on an island for a week in canada in july. The only thing I want when the last day comes is a shower! The body starts to fall apart without cleaning. Rashes and pain in the groin, the body takes care of itself my ass!
May 7, 2009 at 2:32 pm
A shower after a 3 day music festival is amazing.
May 14, 2009 at 9:15 pm
what about pissing in the shower, though there is clearly a toilet within pissing distance…a good bubble fart in the tub as a kid made for a descent chuckle as well….
July 4, 2009 at 7:06 pm
[...] The first shower after not taking one for a while [...]
July 23, 2009 at 8:19 am
After the final week of trekking in the Himalaya including a gruelling slog to Base Camp with no shower the entire week, I found myself in the nastiest, moldy, spider-infested shower and I loved every moment of it. Shaving a week+ worth of hair and washing everything twice.
I’ll never forget that shower.
AWESOME.
August 16, 2009 at 2:04 am
For the last couple of summers me and my friends have gone camping for a couple of days right by the beach. Last summer we all got completely sunburnt due the hours just spent in the water and lying on the sand.
I’m sure everyone knows the feeling of hot water on sunburn, but after three days stepping into the shower and washing away the salt in my hair and sand in all the crevices was the best thing ever. It seriously was AWESOME!!!
And also wanna say I love this list
January 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I cant find your RSS feed i would like to subscribe to your content.
February 8, 2010 at 5:28 am
Creepy… but sexy 8) Yup, it also bugs me that Ross draws all his males and females with the same face so the toys had to reflect that. He has a sense of humor about it though, not just putting himself into the comics out of pure narcissism, so I’m not too annoyed. And the painted art is amazing enough to overlook it anyway!