#856 The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner

two-kinds-of-chicken-wings1

There are two kinds of chicken wings.

First up, there’s the Baby Drumstick. You know the one. It’s a cute, little baby drumstick dripping in wing sauce. It’s the JPEG attachment you’d expect to see on a “We had a baby!” email sent to you from a couple buckets of KFC. It’s so cute and drippy, too — and look, it has its mom’s stick, its father’s drum.

Then there are the Flat Pats. Think of it this way: if Baby Drumsticks are the thick, meaty bicep wings, then Flat Pats are the forearms. And, like a forearm, they’ve got two bones, which means you have to tear them apart to get at the tasty meat inside. Don’t dismiss Flat Pats, though. Even though they may not have the Baby Drumstick’s sex appeal, they come through in the clutch.

You're salivating, admit it

Now, some people prefer Baby Drumsticks. Others go for the Flat Pats. Just like some people like their wing sauce mild, some like medium, and some say “Go suicide or go home.”

But people, that’s where The Perfect Wing Partner comes in. He or she is that special someone who likes the exact same sauce as you but the exact opposite wing type. You like medium? Perfect, so does she. What, you’re a Baby Drumstick kind of guy? Great, she’s into Flat Pats all the way.

Face it: While you two are chowing down and enjoying your sticky, late night bar food together, there’s a good chance you’ll both glance up at the same time, your sauce-soaked chins glimmering under the neon Coors Light sign, and know, right then, right there, that you’ve just met your Perfect Chicken Wing Partner for life.

And when that day comes, my friend, it will so surely be

AWESOME!

Let the magic happen

Photos from: here, here, and here

41 thoughts to “#856 The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner”

  1. Never really thought of that one.

    I’m a Baby Drumstick Guy myself. When one frequents Buffalo Wild Wings, it’s kind of a gamble for two people to choose the same sauce (out of 14), let alone notice if they prefer one cut over the other.

    1. What ARE buffalo wings? OMG EVERYONE has mentioned them but i dont know what they are. Because buffaloes dont have wings, you know that? (dont flame, am a teenage australian)

      1. yes, buffalo sauce & wings originate form Buffalo, NY.

        Buffalo wild wings is a restaurant chain that also originated in the same town as the sauce.

        Funny side note: Dominoes Pizza (north american pizza chain) featured a buffalo wing tv spot with jessica simpson asking where the wings come from on the buffalo.

        Buffalo sauce is by far the best sauce ever invented. its smoky, spicy, yet sweet all at the same time. Its a flavour combination beyond no other. Not too hot, not too mild. Just perfect.

  2. The thing about baby drumsticks is you can eat them with just one hand, leaving your other hand free to grab the beer glass smudge-free.

    As for sauce, I go to the bar known for their hot wings, order the “extra hot” ones, and tell the waitress that I’ll double her tip if I can’t feel my lips at the end of the meal.

  3. I just love any kind of wing-tipe, I’m go with it, but when it comes to sauce, I SUUUCK because I usually like lemonpepper from wingstop, or garlic parmesan from bWildwINgs, dont usually go for hot sauces if theres a “chick” sauce in the menu

  4. This one should be number one on my list. Hot wings are my life. I cook about them, talk about them, they are my life. I have yet to find my hot wing partner though, someone who’s fine with just taking the flat pat. So therefore I just order a big plate for myself and don’t share. It hurts in the morning, but it’s worth it if I get all my drumsticks.

  5. I am totally a Flat Pat wing girl. Anyone need a partner?! I have been reviewing hot wings in New York, Ohio and now Istanbul (although finding none in Istanbul that even get close to making the cut). Ahh I miss good wings…

  6. Drumstick all the way baby! All the way! (read that using George Costanza’s voice from Seinfeld)

    and I married the perfect guy…..he’ll eat whatever I don’t eat.

  7. I’d like to nominate Buff’s Pub outside of Boston, Mass., as the purveyor of the finest wing platters this side of the universe.

  8. The trick to the Flat Pat is to pop the whole thing in your mouth (vertically), wrap your teeth around it , and sloooowly pull it out. That way, you remove 95% of the meat without having to dig for it.

    Unless you’re into that kind of thing.

  9. HAaaaaaaaaa… Where do I find that partner? I never thought of it that way. I’m gonna start askin’ people. I hate the drumstick, lurve the flat pats.

    I once went all cuckoo because the girl at the counter gave me more drumsticks than flat pats. :(

  10. She doesn’t know this but I dumped a girl one time because she was a Drum Stick and I was a Drum Stick. It could never have truly worked. We were constantly grabbing for the same wing it was just madness. I tried to order my wings hotter and hotter hoping she would get her own instead of sharing. No luck thou she was a spice fiend too.
    O if only she had a twin sister with a hankering for the 2 bone. I’d be married by now

  11. Flat pats. Better meat and digging for it is half the fun. Also I love “burn you lips off and crap fire” hot. Bring it on baby.

  12. Mmmmmm… I’m a fan of flat pats fo’sho!
    The thing is, I don’t share my wings… nacho’s, maybe, wings, never!
    Best sauce = honey garlic AND ____ (insert spiciness here… I prefer medium) tossed together, mmmmm… soooooo good!
    And a trick to eating the perfect wing with one hand… Grab by an end with the pincer hold, and as you squeeze hard, push down onto a hard surface (i.e. plate) and the meat just strips off like… like… something delicious…

  13. this is amazing.

    i’m a flat pat girl, and my fiance is a baby drumsticks man.

    the only issue is, i like them as hot as you can make them- and he is a wuss… but we normally just get 2 orders (1 of each) and he deals with some that are hot and i deal with some that are not.

    it’s pure poetry, really. and you are right about how awesome it is.

  14. My BF and I are chicken wing partners and it is great. We used to be brownie partners (I liked the chewy edges, he liked the gooey middle – perfect!) but he’s seen the light and moved to edges…

    I won’t lie. There’s some tension.

  15. My perfect chicken wing partner is my mom. She and I would go out for cheap wing night at the local Brewster’s (pub/restaurant) and order our two favourite flavours. She’d then take all my Baby Drums and I’d take her Flat Pats. It was heaven. Now she’s moved away and I can’t find anyone to replace her. I’ll just have to take her out for wing night when I go to her side of the world to visit. It really was a match made in Heaven.

  16. Hi! If you guys release a book I’m all over it! It needs to have a white back ground, same font and photos as the blog. I would buy that hardcover. And I don’t buy books. This though…..wow. You could put the banner at the top as your cover page. Please let me know if you do this!

  17. Oh and you could select the best comments to go with it! I’m totally dreaming here but it would be a perfect pick-me-up / coffee table book, and I would need to show it to all my friends.

  18. And the number one awesome thing would be achieving your goal! For example writing a blog about 1000 awesome things, and finally reaching number one, and publishing it as a book! Awesome! :)

  19. I completley agree with the begging part of the facts the baby drum sticks are so cute soft and you s0 wanna hug them. Also I think thier very yummy and even better with barbeque, tomoto ketchup or brown sauce! YUM YUM!!!!!!

  20. And here I thought I was the only one who ever thought about this! I’m a flat all the way, nothing beats the flat piece. My family knows that I prefer the flats and they try to throw them my way so I have never really had to be strategic about getting the flats in my possession. My fiance prefers the drumsticks ……. I can’t lie it may have been pro’s side of the list. ;)

  21. This is so true! My fiance and I both love wings, and we both like hot sauce (or spicy garlic at Buffalo Wild Wings), and I only like the flat ones, whereas he prefers the drumsticks! We end up splitting them like that every time, and it is indeed awesome!

  22. “and look, it has its mom’s stick, its father’s drum.”
    Lame, but i lmao’ed.
    Personally, ive never had chicken wing plate at a bar or restaurant, but my dad makes small chicken wings with berry marinade… is that the kind of thing that these are, just with hot sauce?

  23. BW3 was founded in Ohio by guys from Buffalo. Just, ya know, in case you ever have to answer that in trivia…

    I like both parts of the wings. Guess you could say I swing both ways? haha…

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