We’ve all been there.
Mustard-mayo swirls drip from the back of the hot-dog, coffee cups splash on the drive to work, and spoonfuls of lumpy ice cream crumble and go for a ride.
Yes, we’re all familiar with the classic Day-Long Shirt Stain, also known as the International Symbol of Clumsiness. Whether it’s a samosa spill on your sari, a wasabi smear on your kimono, or an olive oil splash on your freshly ironed toga, we all know what that spill means and that spill screams: you are messy.
It’s sad but it’s true, folks. Kiss the job interview goodbye, end the first date early, and skip the big toast at your daughter’s wedding. It’s all over now because you had your chance and you blew your chance. Guacamole smears on your tie and tomato squirts on your tux just trashed your night and trashed your mood.
Yes, we’ve all been there. And none of us like stained shirts.
But that’s why it’s so great when you just barely escape the stain. Yes, these drip-dodging miracles can happen one of three ways:
1. The Pick-Me-Up. That lumpy clump of ice-cream rolls off your belly and skids straight to the ground leaving only a couple rogue chocolate chips sitting in your belly-button dent. What a save. Just pick it up.
2. The Camouflage Mirage. When the juicy beef-drippings leaking out of the taco land squarely on a juicy beef-dripping-colored stripe on your clothes. Lucky break and now you can enjoy the day being clumsy in camo.
3. The Against-All-Odds. Here’s where you have absolutely no right to avoid the stain but do so for mystical reasons that defy all logic. Somebody steals a nacho and carelessly drops its load on your sleeve, but somehow it just skis off gracefully onto the tablecloth. A full beer gets spilled and drips all over you, but some quick whisking just blows it away and … no harm done. We can’t explain these ones, but they are true miracles.
Yes, a big spill without a big stain cranks the happiness dial to 10. That’s because you played with fire and came out cool, hung over the edge but pulled yourself back, and nearly ended it all, but instead just ended up being
AWESOME!
Photos from: here, here, and here
14 Comments
May 6, 2009 at 1:32 am
Camoflauge mirage is the best. Love when I can just say “oh well, you can’t see it anyway” and keep on eating that sloppy food.
My most epic stain: Prom night. Soy sauce stain the size of a dime on my beautiful emerald-green chiffon dress. Had a great time anyway.
May 6, 2009 at 4:56 am
#3 is a special kind of happiness.
May 6, 2009 at 7:13 am
Congrats on the Webby – discovered you via the article in today’s Star.
May 6, 2009 at 7:56 am
This was a really great read, I am very glad I came across your site.
May 6, 2009 at 9:18 am
Too funny. About a half-hour ago, my bf spilled coffee on my pant leg. When he grabbed his coffee cup, the lid popped off and coffee displaced and splashed over the edge of the cup, onto the leg of my pants. Luckily, I am wearing my “never stain” pants. I have no idea what material these pants are made of I’ve spilled loads of things on these pants and within minutes, there’s no trace of a spill at all.
May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
I’ve soooo been there!
Congrats on the Webby … read about it in today’s Toronto Star
May 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm
You know that big handbag you blogged about a couple of days ago? Sometimes it makes a great stain cover up depending on the location of the stain.
May 6, 2009 at 5:22 pm
this is why I eat tacos in the bathtub.
May 6, 2009 at 8:26 pm
A. When I get messy, I just call it glamorous. “Oh, wait, yeah, I know, I’m dirty. But Kate Moss does the same thing, right? So I’m doing it too, because, you know, I’m that special.” Unfortunately it never really works out as planned.
B. Can someone please tell me why black jeans are so hard to keep black? I don’t know why, but whenever I wash my black jeans, a few minutes later, there’s something. It looks bad. And I feel a little sad about it.
June 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Hate those Olive Oil stains, they are forever.
June 12, 2009 at 6:52 pm
I once spilled half a mocha latte all over a white skirt and it didn’t stain at all. That day was awesome!
August 15, 2009 at 2:23 am
I had a really awesome version of #3. At my graduation party, I had a full can of pop in my hand (but somehow forgot about it) and went to swat a bee over my head. The whole can dumped on my shirt, but ALL hit this palm-sized logo on the shirt and rolled right off. The shirt wasn’t even wet! Awesome.
April 22, 2010 at 10:45 am
I spilled some coffee on this light blue shirt I had and I dabbed it with some really cold water, and then again after about 30 min and it didn’t leave a stain at all
July 25, 2010 at 5:44 am
Once spilled spag bol on a white singlet, then tried to suck it off but that left a bigger stain too… oops. but i just washed it and it came right off. Same goes with a mulberry juice ‘stain’. and our washing machine isnt even that good. Those moments were
AWESOME!