Mustard-mayo swirls drip from the back of the hot-dog, coffee cups splash on the drive to work, and spoonfuls of lumpy ice cream crumble and go for a ride.
Yes, we’re all familiar with the classic Day-Long Shirt Stain, also known as the International Symbol of Clumsiness. Whether it’s a samosa spill on your sari, a wasabi smear on your kimono, or an olive oil splash on your freshly ironed toga, we all know what that spill means and that spill screams: you are messy.
It’s sad but it’s true, folks. Kiss the job interview goodbye, end the first date early, and skip the big toast at your daughter’s wedding. It’s all over now because you had your chance and you blew your chance. Guacamole smears on your tie and tomato squirts on your tux just trashed your night and trashed your mood.
Yes, we’ve all been there. And none of us like stained shirts.
But that’s why it’s so great when you just barely escape the stain. Yes, these drip-dodging miracles can happen one of three ways:
1. The Pick-Me-Up. That lumpy clump of ice-cream rolls off your belly and skids straight to the ground leaving only a couple rogue chocolate chips sitting in your belly-button dent. What a save. Just pick it up.
2. The Camouflage Mirage. When the juicy beef-drippings leaking out of the taco land squarely on a juicy beef-dripping-colored stripe on your clothes. Lucky break and now you can enjoy the day being clumsy in camo.
3. The Against-All-Odds. Here’s where you have absolutely no right to avoid the stain but do so for mystical reasons that defy all logic. Somebody steals a nacho and carelessly drops its load on your sleeve, but somehow it just skis off gracefully onto the tablecloth. A full beer gets spilled and drips all over you, but some quick whisking just blows it away and … no harm done. We can’t explain these ones, but they are true miracles.
Yes, a big spill without a big stain cranks the happiness dial to 10. That’s because you played with fire and came out cool, hung over the edge but pulled yourself back, and nearly ended it all, but instead just ended up being