That thick, smoky barbecue smell floats through the yard and everybody starts salivating for dinner.
Yes, sizzling sides of beef and black-burnt weiners are coming right up when the sun’s dropping, the party’s hopping, and your friends are all chilling with ice-clinking drinks on your backyard patio. And if you’re in charge of grilling up dinner, then there aren’t many things that scream I’m Serious About This more than really, really selling it to all your friends. Oh sure, some things come close such as:
- owning a shiny, oversized nine-piece barbecue tool set and having it folded open on the picnic table
- not leaving the barbecue area at any point and even holding onto the handle when the lid is down to make sure nobody attempts to flip burgers when you aren’t looking
- wearing a giant apron with your name on it
- asking everybody constant questions at all times such as “Did you say medium or medium-well?” and “You’re toasted, you’re toasted, you’re untoasted, right?”
Yeah, don’t get me wrong, all those things shout I’m Serious About This, too. But nothing quite screams it like really selling it to the crowd. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever hammed it up with any of these classic moves:
- “Dog up, I gotta dog up, who wants a dog?!”
- “Come on Andrew, you’re not eating salad, are you? Come on, how many more can I sign you up for? Two at least?”
- (walking around the deck with raised eyebrows holding a cold cheeseburger on your BBQ flipper and occasionally waggling it in someone’s face)
- “Okay, I got a slightly burnt one. Who likes them nice and crispy? Nice and crispy one here, everybody. Niiiiiice and crispy.”
Yes, if you’re getting your barbecue groove on strong and you’re rocking the sales pitch long then kudos to you. Every deck party needs somebody to tell everybody else to eat more burgers. So today we salute you for embracing the job. You sold it. We bought it. And now we’re all feeling stuffed, bloated, and so completely
AWESOME!
HaHa! You’re hilarious. Now you’ve got me wanting to fire up the grill at midnight! Problem is, there are no guests. :(
Moonlight burgers for one will have to suffice.
I don’t know who you are, but we need to open an all-night restaurant named Moonlight Burgers.
I think this would be awesome.
I’m a total night owl and I love to cook. Sign me up, please?
Sounds like fun. I wish I had a barbecue.
Top all of this off with a cold case of beer or some fresh margaritas and then your good to go! I love this time of year.
http://www.marriageconfessions.com
thought you might enjoy this:
http://www.myonlykidding.com/2009/05/100-awful-things.html
Thanks for the tribute, Rob.
Ha! That actually made me laugh involuntarily.
I want to peek my head out of my office and bark, “Dog up, I gotta dog up, who wants a dog?!”
I like that you’d totally just bark this over the cubicle wall. Offices are really missing that sweet, smoky barbecue smell, aren’t they?
Barbecuing is the most fun kind of cooking, I think.
He ruins a wonderfully simple thing.
AWESOME!
oh.my.god. i nearly died laughing. hilarious. and awesome!
Agreed – totally hilarious.
BTW: AT is the sister of Freddo, who has recently become obsessed with this site. Her husband is always “really, really selling it” at family BBQs.
You should try cooking the meat using the old fashioned coal, wood, some paper and a couple of matches to light the fire. Better taste and you’ll look as the master of barbecues.
I think you can only do one thing well..either the food or the sales. But if you wanna try both the best of luck to ya!
DB
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Now that’s it has started to warm up, all our neighbours are bbqing, and it is practically a form of torture!
My dad is the -master- at really selling it when we have big backyard bbq’s. Huge, shiny grill, gaudy apron, over-sized tools and utensils, and he even gets out my college dorm fridge to put beside it for the necessary cold beers. Gotta love grilling season :)
Pffft, REAL bbq’s don’t have lids on them!
Slice a 44 gallon drum in half, fill it with wood and away you go!
Using Jack Daniel’s charcoal and telling all the guests that the coals won’t light unless he has a bourbon – my dad.
Right on!
’tis the season!
Makes me laugh. Just did some of this last night. Haha!
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