#753 When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out

Neil Pasricha

the sweet releaseYour head is a machine.

Honestly, just face it: your face and scalp are really just oily gift wrap over the giant, whirring Skull Factory running full-throttle inside your coconut. Just think about what’s going on up there.

First you’ve got sound waves constantly navigating your twisty, waxy ear canals like Luke Skywalker weaving through Death Star trenches. Then there’s your nose on permanent high sniff alert, searching out gas leaks in the basement, fresh croissants at the bakery, or coffee aisles in the grocery store. And we can’t forget your mouth and nose dancing together in the majestic art of breathing.

Some sort of sound wave metaphor

But wait, that’s not all. On top of these rickety assembly lines of important Head Business, you’ve got blood swirling around, mucus dripping all over the place, and neurons firing and bouncing off walls like a never ending game of Breakout.

Skull Factory’s a busy place, folks. The line keeps moving every day, every night, every year, forever.

BreakoutGiven how much is going on it’s no wonder the gears get gummed up once in a while. Rogue lashes jam your sockets, popsicles give you brainfreeze, and sneezes stall in your clogged-up noggin just as they’re trying to escape.

And you know what that feels like.

Face frozen in an awkward crunch, you stare at the ceiling and hold your hand up to your friend, pleading with the factory foreman to please just let it out. One eye popped open, the other squeezed shut, you clench your cheeks, twist your mouth into a triangle, and feel the lost sneeze pinball around your skull.

And then BOOM.

How good does it feel when that sneeze finally comes ripping out? The sweet release feels like someone yanking a red-hot, twisted wrench out of your grinding, crunched-up and steaming headgears to let all the oily, metal parts suddenly start whirring again.

You feel wild, you feel refreshed, and you just got a big face splash of

AWESOME!

Midnight shiftPhotos from: here, here, here, and here

25 thoughts to “#753 When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out”

  1. Who knew there was so much going on! I love that times 3 when you have back to back to back explosions of the same kind. Run for cover!!

  3. it’s allergy season, and in dealing with this, i was just thinking this past week that “sneezing like this should be on the 1000 awesome things blog” and HERE IT IS

    yay collective conciousness

  4. That simply MUST be the most peotic description of the functions going on in the head. Love it! Can you add your writing to the list of awesome?

  5. I discovered your wonderful writing just last week while I was surfing the net at work. And I just want to say thank you for your 258 entries thus far that has kept me alive through the dreary work days for the past week.
    But now, painful reality has come crashing down on me. Oh my god. I can no longer read 40+ entries in one sitting!
    I can only eagerly await your next entry.
    But till then, keep up the AWESOME work!
    I love how you make me take a second look at the simple things in life that we so often take for granted ;)
    You’re awesome!

  6. There is a very, VERY fine line between the sneeze that’d painful and makes it feel like your chest just caved in and the sneeze that is powerful and gets rid of all the crap irritating your nose without hurting.

    Good times.

  8. My sneezes have been really messed up lately. Either they’re stuck completely, leaving me with that weird looking expression of sneeze stickiness, or I end up sneezing in excess of five times. I think my sneezer is malfunctioning.

  9. My father I think has the all time record for number of sneezes in a row. I think the count was up to abound seventeen before i paused the movie and shot him!

  10. “popsicles give you brainfreeze” (as well as other freezy delectables) must of course be added to your future list of awsomenessocity…I’m not a true lover of pain but that brainfreeze…Mmmmm brainfreeze…

  11. I’ve heard it said that the best way to describe an orgasm is to compare it to a delicious sneeze!

  14. That was really good. You described my sneezes perfectly. It was really freaky actually. And yes… I do feel awesome after a good one!

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  19. Mild to moderate, not so bad, but add some serious blood vessel business and this can be really scarey!
    So I share with all you sufferers this “May-day”… Apple Cider vinegar, in whatever form you can handle.
    It really works!
    Your Welcome=-)

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  22. Hence why the Muslims say ‘alhamdulillah’ (Praises are due to God) after they sneeze. Truly, it is a praise worthy event.

    Thanks for the insight.

    1. I have one or 2 BIG sneezes every moring upon rising. Now I shall in relation, sing the praises as well! Thank you for sharing, Amrikiyyah:)

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