Your head is a machine.
Honestly, just face it: your face and scalp are really just oily gift wrap over the giant, whirring Skull Factory running full-throttle inside your coconut. Just think about what’s going on up there.
First you’ve got sound waves constantly navigating your twisty, waxy ear canals like Luke Skywalker weaving through Death Star trenches. Then there’s your nose on permanent high sniff alert, searching out gas leaks in the basement, fresh croissants at the bakery, or coffee aisles in the grocery store. And we can’t forget your mouth and nose dancing together in the majestic art of breathing.
But wait, that’s not all. On top of these rickety assembly lines of important Head Business, you’ve got blood swirling around, mucus dripping all over the place, and neurons firing and bouncing off walls like a never ending game of Breakout.
Skull Factory’s a busy place, folks. The line keeps moving every day, every night, every year, forever.
Given how much is going on it’s no wonder the gears get gummed up once in a while. Rogue lashes jam your sockets, popsicles give you brainfreeze, and sneezes stall in your clogged-up noggin just as they’re trying to escape.
And you know what that feels like.
Face frozen in an awkward crunch, you stare at the ceiling and hold your hand up to your friend, pleading with the factory foreman to please just let it out. One eye popped open, the other squeezed shut, you clench your cheeks, twist your mouth into a triangle, and feel the lost sneeze pinball around your skull.
And then BOOM.
How good does it feel when that sneeze finally comes ripping out? The sweet release feels like someone yanking a red-hot, twisted wrench out of your grinding, crunched-up and steaming headgears to let all the oily, metal parts suddenly start whirring again.
You feel wild, you feel refreshed, and you just got a big face splash of
AWESOME!
Photos from: here, here, here, and here
16 Comments
June 2, 2009 at 12:04 am
Who knew there was so much going on! I love that times 3 when you have back to back to back explosions of the same kind. Run for cover!!
June 2, 2009 at 1:23 am
By far one of my favorite sensations. It’s just truly
AWESOME
June 2, 2009 at 2:02 am
it’s allergy season, and in dealing with this, i was just thinking this past week that “sneezing like this should be on the 1000 awesome things blog” and HERE IT IS
yay collective conciousness
June 2, 2009 at 2:54 am
That simply MUST be the most peotic description of the functions going on in the head. Love it! Can you add your writing to the list of awesome?
June 2, 2009 at 5:26 am
I discovered your wonderful writing just last week while I was surfing the net at work. And I just want to say thank you for your 258 entries thus far that has kept me alive through the dreary work days for the past week.
But now, painful reality has come crashing down on me. Oh my god. I can no longer read 40+ entries in one sitting!
I can only eagerly await your next entry.
But till then, keep up the AWESOME work!
I love how you make me take a second look at the simple things in life that we so often take for granted ;)
You’re awesome!
June 2, 2009 at 5:36 am
There is a very, VERY fine line between the sneeze that’d painful and makes it feel like your chest just caved in and the sneeze that is powerful and gets rid of all the crap irritating your nose without hurting.
Good times.
June 2, 2009 at 7:56 am
I hate the people who have to sneeze three times everytime.
June 2, 2009 at 9:57 am
My sneezes have been really messed up lately. Either they’re stuck completely, leaving me with that weird looking expression of sneeze stickiness, or I end up sneezing in excess of five times. I think my sneezer is malfunctioning.
June 2, 2009 at 11:38 am
My father I think has the all time record for number of sneezes in a row. I think the count was up to abound seventeen before i paused the movie and shot him!
June 2, 2009 at 1:04 pm
“popsicles give you brainfreeze” (as well as other freezy delectables) must of course be added to your future list of awsomenessocity…I’m not a true lover of pain but that brainfreeze…Mmmmm brainfreeze…
June 2, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I’ve heard it said that the best way to describe an orgasm is to compare it to a delicious sneeze!
June 2, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Best feeling EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
June 3, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Very soothing feeling, almost sensual, I might add
June 15, 2009 at 12:07 pm
That was really good. You described my sneezes perfectly. It was really freaky actually. And yes… I do feel awesome after a good one!
April 20, 2010 at 2:18 am
[...] Junk Drawers (seriously, i heart my junk drawer and can thank Dawnie for starting that one!), Sneezing after pausing (there’s nothing like a good sneeze to make you feel rejuvenated!), my friends that laugh at [...]
April 20, 2010 at 4:45 pm
All my sneezes are like this nowadays – hangfires. A sign of age, I suppose.