Contraband candy tastes better.
Here’s how to make the magic happen:
Step 1: Bag Up. Large purses come in handy here. Ladies, pull out the fattest potato sack you got and sling it across your shoulder with pride. For everyone else, you can try a bulky backpack or shopping bag. Business folks can pull off the classy briefcase. The only thing to avoid are Matrix-style trench coats with burrito dents in all the inside pockets.
Step 2: Food Up. Stuff that puppy with gummy worms, bubble tape, and Cinnabons, baby. If you’re feeling risky, throw a couple cold and slippery cans of soda in there or a bag of microwave popcorn. Know your limits, though. Steamy meatball subs and hot curry dishes are typically for experts only. And nobody pulls off lasagna.
Step 3: Walk Up. Confidence is everything. Hold your head high, strut a mean strut, and you’ll be just fine. No ticket-ripper should say anything, but if you get caught you can always pretend you’re diabetic. “Honestly, this is prescription Everlasting Gobstoppers.”
Step 4: Eat Up. Tear open the bag of chips with your teeth, crack the soda during a gun fight, and shake the Nerds during the Spanish dance sequence. Just get in there and start munching.
Get in there and start crunching.
Get in there and get
AWESOME!
(Congrats to Cake Wrecks on their fantastic new book!)
63 Comments
September 15, 2009 at 12:23 am
Aww man, this is the best thing ever. So much cheaper! Plus, the rush of sneaking in as much as possible makes the pre-trip to the supermarket worth it.
June 15, 2010 at 6:07 pm
My mom and I used to do this all the time when I was a kid. We’d go to Ames and buy candy and stuff her purse. She was a single mother and we couldn’t go to the movies at all if we had to buy their food.
Now, I’ve recently taken my husband to the movies and he’s EXPENSIVE. Large soda, Goobers, large popcorn. It costs me about $70 to take us to the movies. Next time I’ll be carrying one of those purses you can stuff even the kitchen sink into.
September 15, 2009 at 12:35 am
Yeah boy!
September 15, 2009 at 1:15 am
Pretty much defines my entire summer.
So AWESOME.
September 15, 2009 at 1:23 am
This was such a rush when I was a kid. Now I walk into my theater, candy or bag-o-chips in hand, and they don’t even say a thing.
September 15, 2009 at 1:29 am
I’ve learned how to do this at sports games also and which stadiums around me require different stadiums. Some don’t check you at all so any pocket is fine, while others pat you down so you need to be really careful at those places. If it’s winter a heavy winter coat can allow you to hide just about anything. I’ve brought a whole meal into a game before just in my pockets (drink, sandwich and some fruit with room for a snack if I want), but I don’t usually go that far unless I know I’ll be there a while. As for movies I don’t go too often but I’ll usually bring a bag of candy in my pocket.
September 15, 2009 at 4:19 am
My favorite is a baggy of “liquid courage” hidden beneath the bosom. Because if it’s the boyfriend’s turn to pick the movie, it’s going to be something stupid, and I will need a drink to get through it.
September 30, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Alcohol is always a necesity. Whether its a flask or some crazy improvised container, once you sit down with your drink and pour it in….. that feeling is glorious.
January 4, 2010 at 5:56 pm
A friend of mine took a bottle of rum inside his cast. We got drunk that night… Aah good times
September 15, 2009 at 6:57 am
Having kids is a great way to sneak food in; even if they’re 3 or 4 (like mine), bust out the diaper bag and stuff it to the gills! Make sure the “kid food” is on top- sippy cups or Capri Suns, fruit snacks, etc- and fill up the bottom with popcorn, cookies, candy and soda. Or sandwiches if you want to be healthy, though why you’d want to be healthy at the movies is beyond me.
September 15, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Absolutely! All three of our boys were within two years of each other, so momma-san & I would pack enough popcorn, snacks, drinks (kids, mom’s, and dad’s barley pop) in the huge diaper bag.
Saw many movies, many good times.
But they grew up.
…..now grandpa sneaks in the snacks, drinks (& his barley pop) in his grandsons diaper bag.
Shame on me…but it’s Awesome!
September 15, 2009 at 8:39 am
I once snuck a pound of hot macaroni and cheese, a bottle of sparkling grape juice, and a box of pocky into the theater to see There Will Be Blood. I cannot tell a lie. It’s true.
September 15, 2009 at 9:11 am
I am in awe of you right now.
My friend snuck in a really cheesy, really oniony panini once. It was crunchy and smelly and awesome.
September 15, 2009 at 11:38 am
Haha thanks.
It was really pretty easy, with a big purse. But it was playing in the smallest room in the theater and people ended up sitting 2 seats away from us. There’s pretty much no hiding a pound of steaming hot pasta at that point, so we just whipped it out, proud of our sneaky ninja-stealth moves!
We definitely got some laughs.
April 22, 2010 at 6:41 pm
I snuck in 2 Chipotle burritos.
And chips.
And guacamole.
September 15, 2009 at 9:21 am
OMG, I so do this. One can buy ten pounds of grocery store candy for the cost of one little thing at the theatre. I’d rather not mortgage my house to get some Raisinettes and a bottle of water. At my preferred local theatre, a 16oz bottle of water is $4.50! Screw that noise.
Of course, now in my old age I have gotten brazen and just walk in with my goodies in a plastic grocery sack. None of the acne-squad stub monkeys have ever said anything. They should just be glad that I’m willing to plunk down $15 for a film ticket.
May 11, 2010 at 2:55 pm
omg! “acne-squad stub monkeys”! awesome!
September 15, 2009 at 10:01 am
I saw someone bring in soup once.
September 15, 2009 at 1:02 pm
There’s a Bulk Barn at the mall where the nearest movie theatre used to be around here. We always went early to stop off and load up.
September 15, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I love it when the movie is quiet and you hear someone crack an aluminum can, especially if they’re trying to do it slowly.
Nowadays my local theatre sells pizza in the lobby so it’s actually possible to sneak in lasagna. A calzone might be easier though.
September 15, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Once me and my friend did Chinese food… each had our own combination plate with chopsticks and all.
September 15, 2009 at 3:07 pm
haha that is AWESOME!
I haven’t done that in a while – but it feels so good to be soooo wrong!
September 15, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I saw a guy one time, after the previews had started, walk down to the front of the theater and open the exit door to let in his friends. His friends who were pulling a COOLER ON WHEELS. They had beer, nachos, fruit. It was awesome.
August 13, 2010 at 5:50 am
Ahahahaha, ahahahahahaha! ohhh i cannot stop laughing! Maybe coz im tired, but that is still a pretty hilariously awesome story i reckon =D
September 15, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I’m sure all the other viewers need to hear you chewing and smell all the hot food smells.
Rude people, all of you.
September 15, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Popcorn has a distinctive smell and crunch as you bite; what makes cookies or brought-in candy any different? I personally wouldn’t bring in the onion and cheese panini, but I don’t begrudge others their hunger and tenacity. It is only a movie!
September 16, 2009 at 8:38 am
Oh, yeah…it is just as rude as all the douchebags that talk on their cell phone, talk amongst themselves, screaming kids, etc.
Give me a break.
September 15, 2009 at 4:55 pm
That is awesome. Movie theater popcorn could be the biggest price gouge in all of America.
September 15, 2009 at 6:34 pm
“Lazy Sunday!” It’s an SNL Digital Short with a major sneaking-contraband-food-into-the-theater theme. If you liked this post, you’ll love this short.
Check it out:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1397/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-lazy-sunday
September 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Not out of cheapskateness … really! … but because it tastes better, I’ve actually made microwave popcorn, wrapped the bulging bag in a tea towel to keep it warm, smuggled it into the theatre and timed the “ripping open the bag” part for when the really loud commercial is at hurt-your-eardrums level.
The first time I tried it, I was worried about the smell of popcorn coming from my purse … nuts, I know.
September 15, 2009 at 9:06 pm
I actually brought some sushi and tea in onetime!
September 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Nobody ever cares at our theater. My friends and I always walk in with a 12 pack of soda in plain sight. There’s no thrill, but it’s still awesome.
September 15, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Once my friends and I pulled off the ultimate movie theater food-sneak: 3 medium pizzas, garlic bread, assorted candy, two 2-liters of soda, cups, and a bag of ice. Yes. There were 4 of us, so it wasn’t too tough. Also it was a discount theater, so I think they weren’t as picky about outside food. Even I thought the garlic bread was a little smelly for the movies, but oh well! It was delicious!
September 15, 2009 at 9:59 pm
We’ve always done this! My husband and I usually stock up at the nearby Bulk Barn right before we go to the show. I feel a bit conspicuous going in with a huge handbag stuffed full of drinks and munchies but we never feel guilty because the prices of the food at the theatre are so ridiculous even the staff wouldn’t buy it there.
September 15, 2009 at 11:19 pm
I used to want to this on dates all the time but I would feel way to cheap. I was doing the whole “get what you like” bit. Damn I could have paid down my mortgage if I would have read this 14 years ago during those crazy trying to impress years. Nuts.
September 16, 2009 at 12:46 am
haha having diabetes does have its perks :)
September 20, 2009 at 12:31 am
I love that! but the feeling when u ask for some more Rollos, and then they say, “sorry, all gone.” makes me feel really really sad.
September 22, 2009 at 3:52 pm
In college, we used to reserve the movie rooms in the library and sneak in pizzas and beer… the movie selection was a tad more educational, but The Blue Planet series somehow became way more exciting with a couple beers, a pizza and the danger of being discovered.
September 28, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Some guys who I go to school with had their food taken away because they bought it outside of the theatre….they must not have been very stealth..cuz i do this all the time!! i love feeling like a ninja! haha
October 6, 2009 at 4:16 pm
[...] anyone who blogs about things that are awesome and specifically: #678 Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater is fabulous in my [...]
October 6, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I snuck sushi in while watching “Across The Universe” at our local artsy theatre. It was awesome.
October 8, 2009 at 3:05 am
[...] 8. Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater. [...]
November 9, 2009 at 1:25 am
I do this ALL the time. Screw the high priced candy.. I’m getting mine homemade! :D
November 13, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I have been known to take a Maccy’s in from time to time :)
November 15, 2009 at 10:53 am
Back in college, some friends and I got ice cream before our movie started. Most of us finished ours before going into the theatre but Don hadn’t so he snuck his large waffle cone in with him. It was winter, and his overcoat had deep interior pockets that held the cone nicely.
November 15, 2009 at 4:58 pm
One time a couple friends and I brought in 2 footlong chicken teriyaki subs from Subway, I also snuck the pop i got with it in, along with a couple of big doughy pretzels from Pretzelmaker
November 16, 2009 at 4:47 am
I worked in a cinema as a teenager. I was surprised to discover that you can see EVERYTHING that goes on in a theatre from the projectionist’s booth, even when it’s dark (the projectionist’s booth is also dark, and the light from the screens illuminates each of the theatres).
At my nazi-run cinema, the projectionist radioed the usher whenever he saw someone put their feet on the seats, get a little too “frisky” with their partner, or break out the contraband food. There was only one blind spot – in the very top row of seats, right under the projectionists’ window. You are safe in that spot, and only that spot. Use it wisely!
February 22, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Your theater has a projectionist?! Actually in the booth?! All of my local theaters have a projectionist who programs a computer and then goes out for a smoke. This is why it’s so pointless for people to yell up to the booth when the film goes bad. You have to run out to the lobby and find an usher who the has to run around and find the projectionist.
November 16, 2009 at 11:55 am
This is easily my favorite thing to do. Its all about the Twizzlers and cans of Sprite man. its Sooooo gooooood. Heaven, really.
I’m a sucker for the popcorn though. I’m ALWAYS going to get the three thousand dollar movie theater popcorn.
Geez now i need some…..dang it!
November 17, 2009 at 6:32 am
So is there a policy in American movie theaters that you can only eat and drink stuff that you bought from the theater? Because I’m from Finland and I always buy my candy and soda for the movies from a nearby supermarket and that is totally OK. Actually it’s quite common.
November 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm
My friend often puts on a backpack backwards and then a windbreaker over it – she looks pregnant or obese. In this backpack we put I put some chinese food, she puts an enchilada and we put in some 40′s or sixes of beer.
Suffice it to say, we are not amateur, it is definitely an expert move, but well worth it.
November 19, 2009 at 5:16 pm
In college, 7 friends and I cooked an entire Thanksgiving dinner – all the trimmings – and snuck it into a packed theater. We brought plates, silverware, cups, three bottles of sparkling cider, dessert – everything to make it a true feast. Two of the girls who went in “pregnant” came out carrying “newborn” bowls. The best part? Trying to spray RediWhip “quietly” onto our pumpkin pie while everyone in the theater looked on hungrily.
November 20, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Me, my mom, and and her friend Tami once snuck cheaper candy into a theater.. She and my mom are a pair, both are probably going to get hernia in the shoulders one day cause cause of those big, bulky, over the top tote bags that they own. And thats how we survived the theaters “watchers” without getting caught. :grin: They got every possible candy item there is, Whoppers (the big milk carton one!!) and since it was a while ago (we were watching Mall Cop) I don’t remember what else. So yeah, Tami and my mom sure know all the tricks, troubles, and cautions about “other brand” candy!! :roll:
December 2, 2009 at 11:45 am
[...] #678 Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater (or bubble tea or starbucks or bags of home-popped kettle corn. Yeah, I live for breaking little rules). [...]
December 22, 2009 at 1:30 pm
OMG this actually happened to me and a group of my friends we were going to see New Moon and we were like right we aint aloud all this crap that aint even from here! so we stuffed it all in our pockets and the bags that we had, i felt well awesome when we were in there
January 17, 2010 at 12:11 am
i want to try this thing where i dress in my pajamas bring a blanket, sneak in lasagna ( i will try to be the first whose done it!) . i’ll settle down, eat my meal and cuddle up, maybe leaning on my neighbor to hit it home that i hate movie theaters
April 13, 2010 at 3:02 pm
They just don’t have blue cotton candy lollipops at the concession stand. What else can I do?
April 18, 2010 at 10:32 pm
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May 11, 2010 at 4:02 pm
haha i work in a movie theater, and even we employees sneak in our candy because they only give us free popcorn and drinks!
its always a good idea to throw your sneaked-in food away when you’re done though. because someone always has to clean it up, and cleaning coleslaw off of the floor is NO fun!
July 12, 2010 at 11:55 pm
Once I took my cat to the movies, it was Over the Hedge, the ticket-taking lady said I could since my cat just got fixed, and I didn’t wan’t him, siting in my hot car, I would have taken him home right away except they were widening the 13 mile road to my house and they would be done working when the movie got over.
July 14, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I have to admit, doing this when you’re the only girl with a bunch of guy friends is extremely awesome, because then it makes you even more popular with them. You’re at the house/dorm, before leaving for the movie, and they’re griping about the cost of snacks. You produce your big purse, smile, and offer the solution. Their faces just light up, and a mad dash into the kitchen ensues.
July 16, 2010 at 10:02 am
I don’t know about where you guys are, but they’re not supposed to be able to do anything about bringing in outside foods. At least where I am.