#678 Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater

save a few for the featureContraband candy tastes better.

Here’s how to make the magic happen:

Step 1: Bag Up. Large purses come in handy here. Ladies, pull out the fattest potato sack you got and sling it across your shoulder with pride. For everyone else, you can try a bulky backpack or shopping bag. Business folks can pull off the classy briefcase. The only thing to avoid are Matrix-style trench coats with burrito dents in all the inside pockets.

pack it fullStep 2: Food Up. Stuff that puppy with gummy worms, bubble tape, and Cinnabons, baby. If you’re feeling risky, throw a couple cold and slippery cans of soda in there or a bag of microwave popcorn. Know your limits, though. Steamy meatball subs and hot curry dishes are typically for experts only. And nobody pulls off lasagna.

Step 3: Walk Up. Confidence is everything. Hold your head high, strut a mean strut, and you’ll be just fine. No ticket-ripper should say anything, but if you get caught you can always pretend you’re diabetic. “Honestly, this is prescription Everlasting Gobstoppers.”

Step 4: Eat Up. Tear open the bag of chips with your teeth, crack the soda during a gun fight, and shake the Nerds during the Spanish dance sequence. Just get in there and start munching.

Get in there and start crunching.

Get in there and get


(Congrats to Cake Wrecks on their fantastic new book!)

It will take years before you master this move in the back row

Photos from: here and here

82 thoughts on “#678 Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater

  1. You know what’s almost as awesome as sneaking food in? Not having to pay for your tickets, or anyone else’s for that matter. Well, you see it goes like this… Me and my friends went to see Eclipse and we had 4 ticket vouchers and there were five of us so I had to pay for myself. Then the bad thing is they opened the doors to the theatre but they didnt bother to check our tiickets at any time. But it woulda been pretty epic if we hadnt already paid!

  2. I do this all the time, it costs me any extra money i have from my paycheck to get tickets. So thats where my big purse comes in handy, i sneak in drinks (none alcoholic ones, i know there is a time and place) and chips and candies and all sorts of things!

  3. I haven’t bought food at the movie theater ever since the Best Buy across the street started selling the same exact confections at cheaper prices. As much as I adore popcorn, candy and soda, I’m not too keen on wasting a week’s pay on it!

  4. I work at a theater usually ripping tickets. I do see the outside food and I don’t say shit. Nobody actually cares except the general manager.

  5. I usually buy soda in there, but I bring mini oreos and skittles and whatever else I feel like. Thank god giant purses are fairly inconspicuous now. Ladies with our gigantic purses stuffed with candy, unite!

  6. Speaking of sneaking in actual meals, one time at my local theatre after the show, I saw an actual full set of dishes and cutlery; and I’m fairly sure it was not plastic. I wonder how the meal was…..

  7. There was a theater in Lynn Valley, where I did some growing up.
    On Saturdays there was a matinee, for 15 cents! Every seat was taken.
    We watched several cartoons and then a main feature, which were all good!
    BONUS+++ No need to sneak a thing, get a load of this…we did….
    the couple who owned the theatre were so kind, thoughtful and generous, they even had penny candy bins, so most kids could afford quite a pocket full for the movies. Candies like mojos were 3 for 1 penny, 2 candy bananas or strawberries for 1 penny, many flavors of gum drops and other chewy candies were 1 cent. Jawbreakers, Roman Nougats, Salt water Taffy,
    a bag of chips, pop and/or a chocolate bar were all only a nickel!!!!!
    “Those were the days my friends, we thought they’d never end,” and they were Awesome!

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