Strap a pair of flashy sneakers on me, snap on an elastic waistband, and tie my golden locks back into a ponytail and I generally have no idea what to do next.
But when the bus is coming around the corner or the train is pulling into the station, watch out, man, because I am off. Yes, no matter what I’m wearing, no matter what I’m doing, no matter who I’m talking to, if I see the faint possibility of catching that bus at the last second then I’m gunning it.
We all know that Just missing the bus is something you’d find over on 1000 Annoying Things, that non-existent netherlist we’ve mentioned a couple times before that also features #995 Finding out your shirt is inside-out partway through the day, #994 When the public bathroom only has one slow, lukewarm hand dryer, and #993 Getting an all-lettuce bite in your Subway sandwich.
When you run and actually catch the bus or train it’s a great thing.
First off, it means you managed to wait the absolute least amount of time possible. You didn’t check your watch four times and constantly stare up the street for the bus to appear on the horizon. No, you put your head down and bolted and ended up hanging around the curb for 0.0 seconds. Not bad!
Secondly, you score a little Mini-Workout High. Who cares if your cheeks are glowing, your neck’s glistening, and you almost twisted your ankle on the sidewalk? You don’t, because you just got some cardio in. Now you can crumble into your plastic pastel-orange seat satisfied your arteries shook off some fat chunks from the afternoon birthday party.
Lastly, you give everyone else on the train some entertainment. Yes, it’s important to mention the Horserace Bettor effect you have on others. See, everyone else sees you walk onto the platform, bug your eyes out, and bolt into Super-Businessman as you start your race. It’s an adrenaline rush as they cheer you on. Will Dress-And-Running-Shoes Lady squeeze between the newspaper boxes? Will Stroller Mom get her two year old up the escalator past Teenage Cell Phone Mob? There is drama and sometimes cheering.
People, when you frantically wave at the driver from fifty feet away, leap across the platform, or jump in those slowly-closing doors, you made it. Stare up at your fellow passengers, take in a few deep breaths, and smile with your big sweaty face.
You just won a gold medal in being