#647 When batteries are included

batteries I’m the Robin Hood of batteries.

Since I am an extremely cheap person I always rob from the rich, battery-filled remotes on my couch and give to the poor new gadgets laying on my counter. I stumble around Sherwood Living Room, clicking open plastic battery doors, hunting for dependable double-As to get the job done.

Of course, this battery robbery always backfires next time I sit down to watch a flick. I plop onto the couch and pick up the lighter-than-usual remote and then curse my former self for screwing my current self. Then the camera pans to another scene of me stumbling around again, this time battery-jacking the poor so I can feed the rich.

It’s a terrible, neverending cycle.

That’s what makes it special when batteries are included. That’s what makes it special when when you yank open the new Baby Farts-So-Real and there’s a small, plastic-wrapped case of cheapo batteries from the Taiwanese black market sitting in the box.

Sure, sure, maybe those knockoff Ultra-Power or Extra-V Vvoltage batteries don’t inspire the most confidence, but whatever man, because surprise batteries are a big win every time.

It’s like the company is saying “Come on, let’s get going, people.”

“First round’s on us.”


robin hood

Photos from: here

27 thoughts on “#647 When batteries are included

  1. Ya, they’re usually super cheap batteries… but I don’t think I’ve changed my tv remote batteries in three or four years, so it’s still awesome that cheap batteries were included. On a related note, I noticed in whole foods last week that they have a free battery drop off where they will dispose of your spent batteries responsibly. So, don’t put your batteries in the garbage!

  2. I’ve noticed that, for some reason, my alarm clock produces different sounds with different types of batteries. The ones that sounded the best? The ones that were sent with it!

  3. Living in a country where Duracell batteries often have 2 r’s in the name, I would go ape-shit to be able to buy anything with batteries included. That thrill has yet to be afforded to me.

  4. Wow, awesome post, especially this: “then curse my former self for screwing my current self”. That made me laugh, and it’s so true!

  5. Wow, this blog is the funniest blog on Word-press I have ever seen! Yesterday, I was laughing my socks off at your “Korean packed tennis balls” :lol: Oh my gosh! I’ve been reading your every post so far all day long for 3 days! And then, I come to the end of the line, and now that I have caught up to it, I have to wait all day until tomorrow for the next post! It’s torture!

  6. How many of us have smacked the remote a few times to get the fading batteries to work “just one more time…!!”
    – or – buy a pack of foreign batts from the dollar store, only to open them and find out they’re so old that they are drained out of power.
    Batteries (Enerjiseres) included…Awesome.

  7. I agree with Greg you can really stretch that battery life for one more use. My preferred method is to rub the positive end on my pant leg. It’s like Red Bull for baterries.

  8. Enjoy the 5minutes of the product before the batteries run out.

    Like with the wii you get to play it for a good 1/2hour or so before you’re running around digging batteries out of remotes

  9. I can’t believe an inane post about batteries is the best one I’ve ever read. :P
    This is TOO true. I do this every time I need to use the guitar controller in Guitar Hero.

  10. Haha! I love it even though it can only last for the first few hours and slowly dies off.

    Plus it’s best if it’s included in a gift someone give me when i’m not at home. I can try and use it on the spot! XD


  11. “rubbing the batteries on your pant leg`

    Its golden and works every time – don`t let the battery companies in on this secret !

    I`ve personally never had to change batteries in my life… I use that secret battery recharging strategy until someone else in my house gets fed up and changes that batteries!

  12. Did you take some things out of the post? I remember Ennerjiser and Pannnasonik (sp?) being there… Oh well, I’m probably going crazy! ; )

  13. Bought a riding/musical toy from a yard sale for Noah. People said it req’d new batteries. When I checked, it was 3 AAA; I found 1…and presto chango one, just 1, the job was done and the fun began!
    Next time, def. using the pant trick though. Thanks everyone!

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