#541 Junk drawers

Neil Pasricha

“Honey, have you seen my measuring tape?”

“I think it’s in that drawer in the kitchen with the scissors, bobby pins, scotch tape, nail clippers, barbecue tongs, extra buttons, old birthday cards, stained take-out menus, thick rubber bands, matches, garlic press, stack of Christmas napkins, old cell phone chargers, instruction booklets for the VCR, some assorted nickels, an incomplete deck of cards, extra chain links to a watch, a half finished pack of cough drops, the Scrabble piece I found while vacuuming, dead batteries we aren’t fully sure are dead yet, a couple screws in a tiny plastic bag left over from the bookshelf, an expired pack of gum, a toaster warranty card, used birthday candles, a square of carefully folded aluminum foil, novelty bottle openers, a barbecue lighter, and that one tiny spoon.”

“Thanks honey.”

AWESOME!

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55 thoughts to “#541 Junk drawers”

  1. hahaha stack of christmas napkins… i know for sure that i have a couple stacks in a couple different junk drawers

  2. You forgot “the extra buttons that come with sweaters which you’re never going to use but keep anyway and eventually forget which sweater they go to.” :-)

    The Scrabble piece and the bag of screws are my favorites. There are many junk drawers in my house, and I’m fairly certain these two items are present in every single one.

    1. And honestly, out of all the clothes you buy and wear, how often do you lose buttons? It has to be like .1% and yet I have at least 20 tiny packets of in-case buttons as if they don’t sell buttons in any stores for like 50c!

  4. I have no witty comment.

    This just about sums everything up.

    ESPECIALLY the incomplete deck of cards. We have about three or four junk drawers in the house, and each one has at least one incomplete deck of cards in it. I say at least because I’m certain there’s one that has four decks.

    Awesome.

  7. I can not tell you how many “dead, but we’re not sure their dead, batteries” are in the many Junk Drawers I’ve had.

  8. My junk drawer is so full of junk it barely closes. I’m sure I could go through it and throw some things away, but ya never know when your’re gonna need those things.

  9. In our house we call it the man drawer!

    Have a look on youtube for ‘Michael Mcintyre Man Drawer’

    Awesome.

  10. Hee! I named my blog Junk Drawer because, at first, I was going to blog about everything, a mixed bag. Then I started focusing on just humor pieces. By then the name had stuck! Just like everything I throw in my drawer. I swear mine never gets cleaned. And, really, does it have to?

  11. From my JD, let’s add to that list chopsticks from takeout, tiny spiral notebooks from when I would try to be organized, half-dead-but-not-dead-enough Sharpies, recipe notes for unknown dishes, phone numbers for unknown people, and, my favorite, a drawer organizer tucked neatly below the heap of junk.

    1. Mel, I have ALL of those things in my JD, too!

      Also a Dudley lock with a forgotten combination.

  12. I started cleaning up in my office in early February. Since then I have made a point of filling one trash can a day from junk drawers (offices have them too), cabinets with old, outdated documentation, obsolete software, miscellaneous pieces of no-longer-needed hardware, unusable envelopes, rubber bands, staples and tape. Here it is the end of March, and I am finally drawing to a close. Everything is neet and tidy, and I am ready to spend the next 10 years filling everything up again.

  13. it’s awesome when…. you have that squeaky-clean / fresh feeling after leaving the dentist.

  14. When we would go visit the neighbors’ houses or our cousins’ house as kids, we always knew where their junk drawers were in their houses–if the pack of kids got bored we’d wander to the drawer and start rooting around–you’d always find some neat treasure to play with!

  22. Let us not forget the unused ketchup, soy & duck sauce packets. Btw, I HATE duck sauce. So why don’t I just throw it away???!!!

  23. I was actually in someone’s house looking for a random item and no one in the house knew where it would be. It was a rather upscale well to-do home, and I figured, hey, no matter how fancy people are, they are still just people!

    So I asked the mom if there was a “random drawer” in the house, where all the stuff ends up… she pointed to one in the kitchen, and lo and behold! It was there!

    Some things never change…

  25. All of my drawers are filled with junk. But I also keep several jars and baskets for the extra special pieces of junk. Like all those awesome cereal prizes I accrued over the years.

  26. so so true but you forgot to put in “crappy Christmas cracker toys that no-one wants”.

  27. I miss my junk drawer, but now it has become the drawer with all the scissors. We only have two pairs so i guess it still kinda is a junk drawer.

  29. This is in fact what we call the bodger drawer. It contains many of the things you mention, plus bodgers, i.e. small “useful” items.

  30. I think everyone must have at least one of these draws. Well actually, I think I have two or three just in my room ‘^^.

  31. so freakin awesome! this drawer exists everywhere i’ve ever lived and every house i’ve ever visited. whenever i’m looking for something and its not in the drawer, i’m shocked because i can always imagine it right beside the duct tape, next to the empty bic lighter……

  32. I have actually cried tears of joy upon finding things in my junk drawer YEARS after losing something. And its happened more than once, its always made my day, if not my week…and yet, I cannot remember one single item that I retrieved. All I can remember is the pure happiness and joy that came from the findings in a junk drawer–now THAT is AWESOME!

  35. My AP Chemistry teacher has one of these Junk Drawers. Since I’m his Teacher’s Assistant, I have to clean out that drawer…

    Things I have found:
    -3 North/South Magnets
    -A spoon
    -One of those Tuning tees…?
    -2 of his Staff ID cards, one from ’97, and ’99.
    -Too many pens to count…
    -12 Scissors
    -Someone’s house key
    -A stack of his current business cards, and old business cards.
    -ETC.

    D:

  39. I have one of those drawers, in my room.
    My mom keeps telling to clean it. I don’t know why, no one will look in that drawer except me.

  40. There’s an English comedian called Michael McIntyre that does a routine on this! he calls it ‘the man drawer’!

  41. The best is that you know exactly what is in the junk drawer even though none of it makes any sense…organized chaos!

  43. Pingback: Sassy Surfings: Pure Awesomeness – literally! « The Sassy Sipper

  44. Among all of those items, I usually find Monoploly money; every time, even after we’ve cleaned out the drawer recently&it’s become a mess again.
    :)

  45. Hmm, sounds the collection in my junk drawer. In addition, I have used and unused bus tickets, random bits of “copper” (1, 2 and 5 Eurocent coins), stray pieces of candy, some toys from Kinder Surprise eggs, a few brochures from local attractions, a couple of transit maps (of various vintages), assorted dice, a couple of cloths to clean eyeglasses, a dog leash, and some postcards.

  46. Have you heard this song? :-)

    It goes on and on and on, but here’s the jist!
    (http://www.tripod.pixel-house.com.au/lyrics_os_second_drawer_down.html)

    One, two! One, two, three, four!

    Second drawer down, second drawer down,
    Everything fits in the second drawer down.
    Sharp, blunt, long, short, skinny or round,
    Everything fits in the second drawer down.

    That’s it people!

    Don’t leave it sitting on the bench,
    If you do, it’ll make an awful stench.
    You’re domestically unstable,
    If you leave it on the table.
    You’re some hopeless bachelor,
    If I can see a spatula.
    You mustn’t have a missus,
    If I can see some scissors.

    Ladies, you know what to do. Now us boys can do it too!
    Nye-nye-nye-nye-nye-nye-nyeh!

    Second drawer down, second drawer down,
    Everything fits in the second drawer down.
    Sharp, blunt, long, short, skinny or round,
    Everything fits…in the second drawer down.

  47. Ah the junk drawer, that one drawer in my house that holds object that i need everyday but have no where to place them. However how the soft clothes to wax the truck ended up in there is beyond me.

  49. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is great blog. An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

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