#389 Going through a revolving door without having to push

My friend Matt went on a rant over the weekend.

“Do you realize how dangerous revolving doors are?” he began, with big popping eyes, concerned eyebrows, and a thick foamstache on his upper lip from the cappuccino he was sipping. “I mean, I’m surprised they’re actually left unguarded in public. Don’t you think it’s a miracle more limbs aren’t lost in those things? Crack, there goes your ankle in the doorjam. Smack, there goes your face against that unrelenting wall of glass.”

He nodded his head in little bobs while staring at the napkin dispenser deep in thought.

“I honestly think I might stop using them altogether…while I still can.”

I flashed him a thin, understanding smile while silently worrying he was becoming a bit too paranoid. What’s next, I wondered – boycotting shoelaces, avoiding escalators, carrying a pocket thermometer to dip into drinks before sipping?

Because let’s be honest. Revolving doors are part of life: they came, they’re here, they ain’t going anywhere, you know? Sure, using them safely is important. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy them. After all, it’s pretty sweet coasting through one of them… especially when you don’t have to push:

1. Catching a draft. Someone’s in front of you so their pushing gets the door moving. Just watch out, though — since they leave the door before you, it’ll generally slow down fast before you get out. But be patient and let the door turn slowly, friend. You’ll make it.

2. The Invisible Force. Here’s where nobody’s around but the door is spinning like mad. Clearly some beefy strongman just whipped it into a frenzy while rushing to catch the bus or something. This spinning beauty sort of resembles that big wheel on The Price is Right whenever a guy from the army sent it flying. Careful getting in and then enjoy the speedy ride.

3. The Self-Starter. This one’s like The Invisible Force, except the slow speed and deep whirring noise tells you the door’s running from a power source. Deeply unsatisfying.

4. Sharing the pie. This is Matt’s worst nightmare. Here’s where you squeeze into the door right behind one of your friends. While they push you try to awkwardly speedwalk so the door doesn’t clip your heels.

Going through a revolving door without having the push feels like catching the rhythm of the universe. Entering, exiting, it doesn’t matter — nope, you just rode the wave of life without crashing into mess of bloody foreheads and shattered wrists.


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40 thoughts on “#389 Going through a revolving door without having to push

  1. A pediatric therapy clinic I volunteered at had really awesome revolving doors – they turned automatically, but would stop if you got too close to the partitions so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. They were great for kids in wheelchairs and such who wanted to go inside without help, but couldn’t manage to turn the doors.

  2. There used to be an automatic revolving door in the shape of an elongated circle at the PCL library at the University of Texas at Austin, but they removed it when the remodelled. It was the coolest.

  3. …and then you go around again, and again just for the heck of it. There’s a nice automated revolving door in a building nearby. At least, I think it’s automated. It’s pretty close to silent.

  4. Wait, am i getting the message that your friend doesn’t like revolving doors? Sure i always think about ‘what would happen if my arm got caught? itd probably rip it off’ and stuff. What am i saying always? i dont think there is one revolving door in Bunbury. well there might be, but i havent seen it. Thats why going to the museum in Perth is awesome. Because it has a revolving door. But i cant remember if its automated or not. Nevertheless, revolving doors are an amazing novelty for us ‘Country bumpkins’.

  5. A time of love, a time of hate (of revolving doors).

    It is awesome when you don’t have to push … thank you, door and its users, for preventing me from breaking my stride.

    I have a friend whose approach to revolving doors is to go together in one section. The real danger lies with this maneuver; the risk of cracked ankles and smacked faces is at an all-time high.

  6. I haven’t really had many times to go through a revolving door….
    I think each time it was automatic and I didn’t have to push. It kinda made me feel weird. I stand there in front of the moving doors, trying to time my entrance just perfect. I jump in……….. and it moves so slow……… 5 minutes later (it seemed) I am finally inside. It looked like the doors where in hyper speed mode while I was standing outside, but as soon as I got in it turned to slow motion

  7. They have those automatic revolving doors in some buildings in downtown Toronto…but people still insist on pushing those even though they don’ t have to.

  8. I have been a victim of “sharing the pie” far more times that I care to admit. At my previous company, we had a set of revolving doors as the primary entrances/exits to our office building. As you can imagine, with the hustle and bustle of NYC, people are always rushing around, and you would be shocked how many times I’d started to push through, and all of a sudden someone had “hijacked” my private section of the pie. They just hopped on in, leaving us closely mushed together and trying to push our door along without getting an arm chopped off.


    Also – I have a bunch of friends to think it’s funny to play that prank where they come in behind you (in the next pie slice), and as soon as your door is about to reach the opening and you can exit, they haul back on the handle, putting the breaks on the door, and having your face slam up against the front glass.. Not funny guys. It was never funny.

  9. A minor point, but I’d just like to say that I’ve been boycotting shoelaces for years and have suffered almost no repercussions other than having a more narrow selection of shoes to pick from while shopping.

    1. That just happened to me the other day, but the guy was pushing way too fast, so I had to awkwardly shuffle along. Not a fan of the opposing pie slices.

  10. Most revolving doors I’ve ever run in to are automated. There’s a press to stop button on the outside.

  11. After my high school drafting teacher explained a new project we were going to be working on, I said, “Guhh. That’s impossible!”
    He walked over to me and said, “The only impossible thing is slamming a revolving door.”

    That little line has stuck with me for years & makes me smile the moment I see a revolving door.

  12. The best revolving doors are the ones at zoos. They aren’t glass–they are gates and the doors are like ladders. Kids (and I) can jump on and ride through. Feet on the bottom bar, hands high–awesome. Better Grandma pushes for you.

  13. I wish my town had revolving doors. There AWSOME! It’s like wheeeeee!!! and you just keep spinning and you don’t even care who stares at you and just keep spinning. Plus cold air can’t pass through those doors. Complete AWSOMNESS!

  14. I actually got my arm and foot caught in one of those things once. I’m kinda paranoid about them now, but at least there were no broken bones!

  15. NOW, this is a blast from the blast.
    When my real sisters and I were very young, seriously, about the year the Byrds sang this song…our bio-mom had sewn us 3 the exact same red and white gingham shift dresses with babooshkas too, to match. She had us hop on a city bus, ALONE, 5, 8, 11, to go meet our daddy at work downtown.
    Just so happens the building “he owned had a revolving door!” Everything was far safer in those days…even the doors moved slower by the sound of Matts fear and Neil’s story. We all squeezed into one slice of pie, giggled like crazy, maybe a few times too many, until the Marine building “gaurd” said we had to stop and escorted us on shiny marble floors to our daddy’s office near the top where the “ice-cream dripped from the top of the building”, but miraculously is still there to this day in March 2011!
    We were the talk of the town, in 1966 and that day, among others and those doors at the entrance of “daddy’s building” are a bright blast from our past!!! Thanks… you think of everything:)

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  17. First off – I particularly enjoyed reading this one. (Also, I have just finished reading your first book, “The Book of Awesome” … Just throwing that out there.) But in regards to number one, I must day that it isn’t always the best tactic to go about it… Coming from an individual who lives in a densely populated city, when people in front of you within the revolving door realize that you’re leaving all the grunt work to then so you can walk in without having to do any of the work yourself, they get quite ticked off pretty fast – and suddenly their form of revenge is by catching you off guard whilst strolling on behind and the reviving door suddenly stops… Revolving. And that’s when you’re hit with some hard, cold truth of reality (both literally and figuratively.) I do admit, I am guilty on both ends; I’ve been the one to yank the swiveling doors to a sudden halt, and also have been on the receiving end of a door that suddenly has become stationary. Definitely a method for the more stealthy individuals.

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