#357 When the baby crying on your flight finally shuts up

Look, I love babies.

Sure, we laugh, high five, sing songs, and play cars. We talk, read books, dream dreams, and stare at stars.

But one thing we agree to disagree on is proper behavior on overnight transatlantic flights. Me, I like sleeping. Them, they like screaming for hours on the lap beside me.

Generally when this happens all I can do is focus all my energy on sending silent signals to their brain and hoping my message finally gets through.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up.

AWESOME!

Photo from: here and here

75 thoughts on “#357 When the baby crying on your flight finally shuts up

  1. What’s even better is if the baby right next to you on the flight is asleep, and looking absolutely cute. Awesomely adorable!

    1. I love kids, really I do; I’m a tutor and nanny. I hate parents with a passion though. But if I ever bc a multi-millionaire, I will without hesitation create an airline, theater and restaurant where there are hours where kids aren’t allowed. Wouldn’t the world be better if there were options for those of us not wanting to fight a 3hr urge to hurl a parent out the nearest window? Just saying.

      For example, any movie not rated PG would not allow anyone under 13 without exception if they’re accompanied by a parent. Can’t find a sitter? STAY HOME! After 8pm at my restaurant? Not allowed. With flights, who wouldn’t pay $50 extra for an overnight flight guaranteed to not have babies and kids? Exactly. That’s why Southwest is great. Families get on 1st and bc of open seating we all can mosey on past them to quietness. (Unless, of course, some Jackwagon allows their kid to run the aisles)

      Rant over. Bring on the lawsuits!

      1. I LOVE your two opening sentences (and although I’m not a nanny (I could be a granny though), I agree with you totally about parents who think their children are “special” and therefore do not have to abide by any behavior codes. Truly, I’d like to slap those parents – HARD! Hang in there with your nanny gig, hopefully you’ll be done with it before you decide you WILL NEVER have kids!!

  2. Remembering to bring along a set of ear plugs on all flights. Listening to Headphones over top of earplugs knocks out 95%+ of the surroundings! Awesome!

  3. So I have always understood the pictures to all of these… except for the champagne cork. Could anyone explain?

    Thanks!!

    1. But parents do. When you bring a baby on a red eye flight, you are an a$$hole. If you don’t mind being one then that’s fine, just keep in mind that everyone hates you.

  4. The problem must be that you’re forgetting your Sonic milkshake every time you fly. Look how happy that guy is! ;)

    KIDDING.

    I understand that plane-travel with babies is sometimes a necessary evil, but it sucks all the same. Maybe there should be a room like they have in some churches … a cry room (http://www.stcecilias.net/tour/cryroom.jpg). Like a sealed off glass box for parents + their crying children.

    I love babies, too — a LOT — but sleeping on a long flight > listening to a screaming child. For sure.

    1. So….. just because of this post and your and Freddo’s comment…. I craved a milkshake all day long. I did finally go get one. It made my baby stop crying!

      I think everyone, even if they don’t want to admit it or the ones that think this post is offensive, always breathe a sigh of relief when the baby does stop crying.
      Just sayin’

      1. Exactly. No matter how bad you feel for the baby or how sympathetic you feel toward the parent, the fact is this: no one WANTS to listen to a baby cry (even the baby’s own parents — be honest). Especially in a confined space where there’s no escape, particularly if it’s for a long time. So there’s no blame here on anyone, simply a celebration of no crying. Who can’t be happy about that?

  5. Ok, so I’ve never been stuck on a plane with a crying baby cuz I’ve never been on a plane. I do however have this ability to block out other people’s kids. I guess growing up with 6 brothers and having a kid of my own at a young age gave me this super power to be able to successfully ignore things like this. Yes, I can play the game where the kid sits there and pokes your arm for an hour or puts their finger so close to your face and says, “I’m not touching you.” I grew up with all of these things. Ignoring my own crying kid, though, is impossible. I can deal with the annoying games, but as soon as my kid even comes close to making a crying sound I am wide awake from my deep slumber.
    There are several things that other people’s kids do that annoy me and make me want to “take them out back to the wood shed” (LOL) but the crying doesn’t bother me.

      1. Uhh, yeah. Or slamming the tray on your seat back up and down … and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down …

    1. Really? At 2am, you’d have no trouble sleeping while a baby screams at the top of its lungs in the next seat?

    2. Oh, Bekah! Hilarious -ā€œIā€™m not touching you.ā€
      LMAO!!! Did we ALL play the same annoying games?
      I think babies’ ears don’t pop when the cabin get pressurized. That hurts! If you notice, they always start crying when they change the pressure. Awww – poor kid. Feels like an icepick in your sinuses. Still want to shut them up, though.

  6. Babies on airplanes have good reason to cry. Their ears hurt. They have no idea wtf is going on. They can’t nap in their cribs. Their food and toys are packed away in the overhead carry on. They just got a bum change in the tiniest washroom they’ve ever seen.

    Honestly I found this post insensitive. Unless you are the one caring for the child in question, you have no cause to complain about them.

    1. Oh stop looking for things to be offended over.
      I doubt that the babies are personally hurt about this post.

    2. Unless your baby is dying of some disease and you need to get to a special hospital, you have no reason to bring it on an overnight flight where other people are expecting to sleep. You are a jerk if you do so. Flying during the day and nobody will care if your baby screams, that’s what babies do.

      1. Seriously…you are on e insensitive bastard. You should be banned from this site because you leave NO smart/constructive comments.

        1. You should be banned then. You just called someone who was stating his opinion a bastard. Carl, whether you agree with him or not, never attacked anyone personally.

    3. You must be one of the parents who feels guilty about their bratty kid. Get over it and get a sense of humor!

  7. I feel for the parent when everyone gives a look as if he/she is crying loud. Such a pathetic situation to be in. My motherly instincts would love to advice them but I usually keep quite.

  8. You know how a lot of adults will take a gravol or other calming sedative before flights? Couldn’t this work for babies, too? (in the correct baby dosage of course!) You know, just to take the edge off a bit?

    1. Haha! I was thinking that, too, but I didn’t know if it would be an inappropriate suggestion … glad it’s not! ;)

      Some baby-Benadryl never hurt anybody. (Uh, unless they’re allergic, but that’s a different issue altogether).

      1. A lot of people will give their babies sedatives for a flight. Look it up. Its not an inappropriate suggestion. I found lots of things about it and even the medicines used for it. Just google it, you’ll find lots of stuff about it. Its interesting.

  9. I agree with Jen. You don’t think the parent is doing everything they can in a cramped, crowded space to calm their baby down?

    1. No, they’re not doing everything they can… they brought their baby on an overnight flight and they’re disturbing the sleep of 300-400 people. That makes them a jerk, they should fly during the daytime unless it’s some emergency. Nobody cares if a baby cries on a plane during the day.

      1. Seriously?!?! You are one insensitive bastard. What about those people flying internationally with babies/children? They can’t help if the only flight they have is an overnight flight. I think they care more about the memories they are going to make on the trip they are taking than inconveniencing you. Nobody likes having a screaming baby on the flight, but it is just a fact of life. If you are going on any type of flight, then you should expect children on the flight. You are the jerk.

  10. I know that this post wasn’t meant to be insensitive, but unfortunately it was. I have been on 6 international flights with my daughter who is almost 15 months. The worst part about flying with an infant isn’t the screaming part, it is most definitely the looks that the parents of those infants get in the waiting area…or the under breath ” great” when someone realizes they are sitting next to you. If you really want something awesome about flying with an infant, it is the looks and compliments you get when your child is awesome on an international flight…and something even more awesome is the “you shouldn’t have judges too quick” look that I get to give. That is REALLY awesome.

    Oh, and those other comments about drugging your kid before the flight…why in God’s name would you give your child a drug she doesn’t need just to make it drowsy? Yeah, no thanks.

    1. Nowhere in this post does Neil talk about parents. It wasn’t titled “#357 When the irresponsible parent finally gets their child to shut the f*ck up.” He’s saying that it’s awesome when the babies on flights aren’t screaming. Your child isn’t screaming. What are you complaining about?

      1. He says when they “shut up”. Not when they “stop crying”. There is a difference in tone there. I am blessed that my child seems to do amazingly on flights. I just know how I would feel if I happened to be that parent of said screaming child.

        1. Not to be a jerk but the tone’s there if you put it there. It’s text and was meant in a funny un-serious way. Just think the point of the blog is to make people feel good and have some fun with it :)

        2. If you bring your child on an overnight flight knowing that s/he will be cranky, then you are a jerk. You don’t bring children to “R” rated movies or loud night clubs where they serve alcohol. Same goes for flights. There are some unwritten rules in life. You do not know that some of the other passengers chose the night flight so that they can get their sleep there and finish their work during daytime. And if they don’t, their jobs could be in jeopardy.

    2. Uh and you know, lots of people take sedatives to calm down before long flights. Not every baby needs such things, but some babies are literally scared out of their wits when it comes to flying. And thirteen hours is a long time to be that scared. I think a sedative is much better than tramatizing the poor thing. I know I would give one to my neph if we had to take such a flight, since he would be utterly horrified!

      Anyway crying babies on long flights have never bothered me much, but crying children drive me a bit nutter, its a whole different sound!

      1. Right…you’re talking about ADULTS taking sedatives. Adults make the conscious decision to drug themselves. I wonder if your brother or sister would be fine with YOU drugging THEIR son on a long haul flight. If they are fine with that, then great. Most parents that I know that have to make long haul flights with their children are not in any way about to drug their children just so that they would sleep on the flight for the comfort of other passengers.

  11. Sometimes flights are necessary – like taking the baby for the one and only time he will ever meet his great grandparents. What is truly awesome is when you are doing everything humanly possible to get the baby to be quiet and someone gives you the knowing look that says ‘I’ve been there and I know you are trying’. That is truly awesome. The people on the plane who most want the baby to be calm are the parents.

    Oh and sedatives often have the reverse effect on children.

    1. This is not an issue of flying with a baby, that is totally acceptable. Flying at NIGHT with a baby is a totally different situation. I don’t bring my drumset in your bedroom at night, why would you bring a baby in mine? Fly during the day and I’ll think your wailing baby is cute, fly overnight and you’re a selfish jerk that is hurting 300+ other people. Flying with babies overnight is not socially acceptable.

      1. Sorry that you feel that parents who fly long haul flights with their babies/children are selfish jerks. You’re the insensitive bastard that gives said parents awful looks and deserves having a screaming baby/child next to them or behind them kicking their chair.

          1. Haha that’s what I was thinking, people are taking it way to seriously when its suppose to be careless fun

            1. Carl is absolutely right. Some people are selfish and insensitive about other passengers. I once had a stewardess tell a bloke to calm his screaming infant and you know what he did? He started playing games with her so that she would scream and laugh even more, even louder. It was 3 in the morning. What a POS.

  12. I don’t mind crying…crying is a sniffling, silent thing. It’s when babies are wailing and screaming at the top of their lungs, it becomes annoying. Babies don’t cry-they wail and scream. It’s annoying, but I understand there’s not a whole lot the parent can do. I just hope it’s never ME sitting too close to the wailing baby. At least 10 rows away. :P

  13. This will always be a problem on flights today i dont think it will ever change.
    I have learned to block the death defing screams but it never works

  14. I’m with you on this. Before I had my own kids, I used to scan the aisles, hoping I wasn’t sitting near any families with young children. Once I had my own, I knew I had become one of those to be avoided. Ugh! The dread. Fortunately, kids grow and mine are now civilized human beings who no longer need to be bribed and threatened in confined spaces.

  15. As a mother I can say we are typically thinking the same thing (maybe just a bit nicer), “be quiet, be quiet, be quiet…” As for people questioning why you bring an infant on a Redeye – well, in hopes that the infant will sleep. If you take them during the day you run MORE of a risk of them screaming the whole flight. And wether it is 11am or 11pm, a screaming baby on a flight is not fun.

  16. I once had a 10 hour flight where the kid behind me screamed the ENTIRE flight. It was the flight from hell.

  17. Today, Papa Smurf said to Patrick, “Speak from the heart and you will never go wrong”… so to your high five, here’s a Smurf’s high four:
    http://youtu.be/b56rjFFLViM
    p.s. Only things we’d rewrite…use of original sountrack, and in the lab Smurfette is multiplied so love can grow and Smurfland will be eternal.
    http://youtu.be/wkpamWPECHg
    Awesome movie:)

  18. Whilst I usually love Awesome! This one does irk me. Where I live there’s a $500 difference between a day and a night flight, and none of my family lives less then a 4hr flight away. Unless the rest of the passengers are willing to fund me the $500 I don’t really have much choice. Oh well, I just have to bare with it for the next 2 or 3 years, I’m not missing out on seeing my mum and dad because someone looses 4 hours to a crying baby

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