#327 When you hit something with your car and there’s somehow no damage

Bumping bumpers is a bummer.

Couple years ago my friend Allison was wheeling her rusty bucket into the library when she crashed into the parked car in front of her. When she got out to inspect the damage she noticed she’d put a big bruise on the other guy but came out clean herself. Worried, she went inside and found her victim before spending three weeks and almost a thousand bucks to finally straighten out his car and her conscience.

Now of course, wouldn’t you know it but a couple months later the same thing happened in reverse. Popping out of a grocery store holding a couple big bags of food, she noticed a big bump in her side door. Unfortunately, this time there was no note, no message, and no way to find out what happened so she unhappily shrugged and drove home in her classy new Dentmobile.

Allison’s sad tale is a reminder we’re always bumping things and we never really know which way they’ll turn out. Yes, whether you’re scraping side mirrors on the garage, knocking garbage cans over on Monday morning, or just kissing car doors in the parking lot, it’s always a heart-pounding moment until you scope the scene.

The moment just before you check out the damage is awful.

The moment just after you see there isn’t any is


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34 thoughts on “#327 When you hit something with your car and there’s somehow no damage

  1. When you wake in morning from Bad dream and just realize, it was dream and thank god that it was dream and not reality

  2. We had forty minutes for lunch when I was in high school and we were allowed to go wherever … so one day I was driving my friends through the McDonald’s drive-thru when we were slammed from behind as I was ordering. We were all like, “UGHHH this sucks! The car is going to be messed up! We’re gonna be late for fifth hour! We’re not gonna have time to eat!” So we hopped out to inspect the damage (just as a 157 year old lady was attempting to hobble out of hers), and were SHOCKED to find … nothing. On either car. It was a high school lunchtime miracle!

    1. Reminds me of a time I was out with my daughters father, back when we were dating. He had a ‘gig’ and was hauling this huge trailer on the back of his tiny truck. We pulled into a Wendy’s drive thru for some food after his show. We ordered and was pulling around to pay…..and he took down their menu with the trailer. He went over the curb, somehow missed the speaker and knocked over the menu sign. There was no damage to his truck, the trailer or really the sign. A guy that was taking the trash out set the sign back up, but it was kind of embarrassing and hilarious at the same time.

    2. What’s up with those 157-year-old drivers? I had just paid cash for my first new car and only had it for a week when I was stopped at a red light. Suddenly, BOOM! Some 157-year-0ld guy rear-ends me. I went over to exchange information and he starts laughing hysterically. I think he was on the special medicinal plant for his glaucoma. There was definitely a dent in my bumper, but it mostly worked its way out over time, since after the accident, the police report faulting him mysteriously disappeared, so he didn’t have to pay to get it repaired.

      1. At my first job at a gas station, we had to park along the side of the parking lot away from the building. I was on car #3, my Chevy Caprice, my boat of a car. An old guy (ok not THAT old, but still old) came through the parking lot a little too fast and side swiped my car. I didn’t see it but my co-worker did. 2 minutes later he came in the store and said to me, “Someone just hit your car!” My co-worker said, “Yeah, it was you.” And he denied it until he was blue in the face until I went over to the window and saw the big maroon streak from my car down the side of his white car. I finally admitted to it after I had called the cops cuz he was causing a disturbance. (It was private property so the cops wouldn’t do anything dealing with the accident) There was only a little paint missing from my car and a small dent, his car was all dented up with a big marroon streak down one side. He ended up paying me over $1,000.

  3. Is there a release date for the second book yet??

    I remember the first time I was out driving without any parental supervision. I had taken a friend of mine to see her mom at work at the police station. I was trying to get into this really tiny spot and knocked the truck beside me. I knocked it so hard it shook. Thankfully there was no damage to either of the cars. I miss that car. I hit so much stuff with my first car and you couldn’t tell. The car I got after that one, I totaled. I also totaled car #4. I’m still driving car #5 after 5 years and 9 days and it has so many bumps and dents and scuffs on it, but only a couple were my fault. All the imperfections are all so small you can hardly tell they are there…. although someone did key my car once and I had that fixed.

  4. I am sooo thankful for the person who invented movable side view mirrors. I can’t tell you how many times I have backed out of my garage only to smack the side view mirror. Just roll down the window, move it back in place & viola no damage done! (of course it does have lots of tell-tale scratch marks)

  5. This just happened to me saturday night…I was parallel parking my friend’s car and accidentely bumped into the car in front of me while parking. Luckily, no damage was done to either of our cars, however, just as I was walking towards the restaurant, I noticed it was Permit Parking only. :( Not Awesome.

  6. In our “very congested” locally owned and operated 100 year old grocery store parking lot, this happens ALOT!
    My best experience:
    I’m backing out in my sweet little GT, a guy plows into me in his “blast from the past, orange station wagon… parts fell off… he hit me to avoid children who had darted in front of him. People kept saying, “why don’t you get that fixed, it looks horrible?” But I, I wore those orange stripes, cracks and dents across my bumper with pride and a reminder too…nobody was hurt in this true story event.

  7. This reminds me of my first ever road scare back as a new driver back in high school when in my town’s not-actually-overwhelming bumper-to-bumper traffic, I braked a little to fast and hard and tapped the car in front of me. We both stopped, and while opening my door, I watched with horror as my friend’s parents emerged from the other vehicle. The were super cool about it, but that didn’t stop my nervousness and embarrassment. What a relief when we found no damage!

  8. I work…uh…let’s say “in a controlled environment,” so many thousands of people are trying to drive through four gates at the end of the workday. Even without a blockage, the line can back up for half a mile or more; with one, it’s complete anarchy.

    I was in the right turn lane, waiting for a chance to scoot out, but the traffic I need to merge into is coming around a curve, and I did that inevitable right-turn-lane thing where you hit the gas, see a car whip around the bend, slam on the brakes, and get rear-ended.

    If we needed to check for damage, there was nowhere to pull out of traffic: we’d just have to sit there, blocking one of the three lanes at one of the four gates at rush hour. I looked in the rear-view mirror, saw the (young) driver’s expression–annoyance, basically–checked that his airbag had not deployed, and just drove away.

    When I got home, I checked the rear bumper: not a mark. Awesome!

    1. You need to have your license revoked. I would have followed you to your house and would have called the police to have you locked up for at least a night for leaving the scene of an accident. You really do no need to be behind the wheel of a car. Do the rest of us a favor cut your license up and start using taxi’s and other mass transit systems.

  9. @Bekah, I think the 2nd book comes out in May sometime :)

    The other day, I was finding a parking spot, I had to wait for this man to finish parking his car before I could go anywhere. This guy’s car was so massive he was really to old to be driving the thing. He decided to do back in to the car bay, as he was doing so he nearly hit the other car like 5 times, he was so close I was surprised he didnt. He missed by a milli second. Lucky for him otherwise he wouldve been paying a heap of money.

  10. Awesome Peeps —

    I have two words for you:


    Why, you ask?

    Well, sit back, relax, and settle in for the latest installment of Crap My Uncle Says.

    First let me say that this man is a driving machine. He goes across the country like I go from my house to the grocery store. Second, he builds autobody shops for a living, so he’s an expert in the field of dingology.

    Okay, so, what does Uncle Megamind say about dealing with a ding on a rental car?

    “Just squirt on a little super glue and stick on a leaf!”


    Yeah, by the time the leaf washes off, no one’s paying attention, and you’re on the airport shuttle whistling a carefree tune.

    Do you think this is AWESOME?
    Would you do it?

    I certainly would have, but things are a little different now.
    If you’re curious to learn more, check out my entry today in

    (Largely inspired His Awesomeness himself; a.k.a. Neil)

    P.S. What cracks me up is the imagining some stone-faced Hertz Manager walking over to the rental car, pulling off the leaf, and wordlessly eyeing Uncle Megamind.

  11. This happened to me yesterday! I thought I had scratched my car against the curb. I heard a horrible noise, looked on the side of my car and was so relieved that there was nothing there! This post couldn’t have been posted at a better time!

  12. A few years ago I was in the car with my mother when we bumped into another car in the carpark.

    To our joy, it was only our car that was damaged! There wasn’t so much as a scratch on the other one. :)

  13. My ex (Alison) was driving and we had just smoked a draw of hash, we were on our way to a party, we stopped at a store to buy some beer and while driving away we hit something and it made the car jump, being both stoned, (her driving) we just laughed it off, luckily it was just a limp of concrete… But you never know… She insisted she was ok to drive, who was I to argue, I was stoned… so was she…

  14. Yesterday I knocked over my neighbor’s garbage cans on the way out and took off my side mirror on the way in. I’ve been driving like a grandma all day.

  15. My car is a trooper, i was laughing my face off with my sister one time, while backing up (not a good idea, the hysterical laughter impairs judgment), and i backed into a dumpster and actually moved the dumpster almost a foot along the pavement without causing even a scratch to my 10 year-old hand-me-down Neon. I also rear-ended a 157-year old librarian pretty hard, causing whiplash for me, and zero damage to both vehicles. I drive a cosmetically tough and forgiving lemon.

  16. I got rear-ended yesterday stopping fast for a red-light. I stepped out of my car walked around back. The other driver was already out and looking. There was no damage to either car. I said to her “I don’t see a thing” she agreed. We did a little fist bump and got back in our cars. When green came we went our separate ways. Looking back I probably should have taken her number. Not cause I am worried about the car, but cause she was sort of cute.

  17. I parked a bit too close to a co-workers car last year, and when I pulled out our mirrors kissed, and mine was so excited by that that it jumped right off the car. Hers was fine. $20 for a junk mirror and $3 more for some touch up paint and you can hardly notice the damage. Hers, fortunately, was completely unharmed.

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