#294 Successful sheet swooping

Successful sheet swooping is the term used to describe when you’re making the bed by yourself and you grab all four corners of a sheet and then suddenly swoop it out into the air in one quick move so that the entire sheet unfolds in a majestic rectangle of cotton that floats in the air for a millisecond before landing perfectly over all four corners of the bed.


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56 thoughts on “#294 Successful sheet swooping

  1. I prefer a duvet cover to a flat sheet. The weight of the blanket helps to ensure more instances of successful swoopage (although it does require a little more muscle) and you don’t find yourself waking in a panic because you are tangled in the sheet and unsure of whether that was just a dream that you are tied to the railroad tracks. Another bonus is that you don’t have to remake your bed as often. Just give that blanket a hearty yank on one end and let the wave of air underneath propel it into a refreshed state of smooooooth.

      1. Freddo, are you gonna make that guy a recurring character here? Cuz if you’re trying to top beadhead baby, it ain’t gonna work :P

        1. lol.. here’s the deal.. I won’t post any more pictures of Snidely until you make more references about getting tied to the train tracks..

          1. hmm…I don’t know how many more awesomethings my railroad dreams will relate to…this may be the end of Snidely.

  2. Ahhh haha literally just made a bed. But I had help :P But yes, that sheet swooping is a magnificent thing. Although I don’t like having flat sheets, only when it’s hot, otherwise I just have a doona on top of me, which stays flat and secure at the end of my bed because its awesome like that ;D

    1. Even better is when you’re already lying in the bed and someone does the sheet swoop on top of you.. better if it’s a full blanket or duvet, so you feel the light weight of the blanket-y warmth slowly start to cover you..

      1. I’ve been on my deathbed here since yesterday with the dreaded strep-like tonsilitis/pharyngitis. Lost my 2+ year marathon of health due to a selfish lab mate who decided to come in to work while knowingly still contagious :( A sheet swoop over me would be so refreshing right now…or a sweet shoop. I’m not picky.

  3. Sadly, this has never happened to me.

    In other news, anyone know how to fold a fitted sheet? I’m certain they were invented by an evil force. Rarely do I change sheets bc if this very issue. I just wash and throw the same set back onto the bed.

    1. I second that request Trixie. My mum had the uncanny ability to fold a fitted sheet as neatly as a flat sheet. She’s tried to teach me how to do it but I’ve never been able to.

        1. I like things in their place and like they’re intended to be. I’m one of those people that feels that there’s a right and wrong way to do everything there is to do. My mother says I’ll change once I have children. Lol.

        2. Um, SERIOUSLY. Every time I do laundry, I try for like five seconds and just wad it up and place the neatly folded flat sheet and pillowcases on top of it. :)

    2. I know, I know…
      1.it’s all in the shoes, high fashion, make-up and hair-do…just kidding.
      1.to fold a clean sheet requires lots of space, like a bed for example!
      (unless you have a big fancy laundry room or laundromat to use)
      2.nevertheless, folding should also take place nearest to your bedding storage point of entry.
      3.take one corner to meet another…
      as long as they touch at “some point” you’re doing a great job.
      4.now smooth material and fold, again smooth and fold to desired size.
      5.now this is the critical, clever and creative part so pay attention… start to roll the sheet…yes, I said roll it and voila, you have a rose!
      This can also be achieved with pillow cases, bath and beach towels, face clothes, hand and dish towels. Whatever your storage space, you are the master of laundry fun, the bloom and or rose bud which you now have bouquets of. Freed from the forces you thought were behind fitted sheets which were actually the rules you thought had to apply in folding!
      Fitted sheets are divine.
      p.s. this helpful hint may be used in the closet and to turn the travel bag-packing attitude around too:)

    1. I read “sweet shooping” at first, which got “Shoop” by Salt n Pepa stuck in my head for an hour :P

          1. heh heh. I made you wish for Rickrolling! That’s like, the next level of internet pranking.

          2. AHA! I’m not the only one who likes a good Rickroll from time to time … and if memory serves, you were recently judging me for that! ;)

            1. Hey! I didn’t say I liked to be rickrolled! I just meant that it would have been far less creepy than that video. *shudder*

  4. Ha! It would be totally awesome, if it ever happened to me. The best I get is the two closest edges perfect and the rest ruffled at the other end. Grrr.. Maybe that’s something to consider in a (more pessimistic) 1000 Annoying Things blog…

  5. Actually, afore-mentioned poster mentioned getting under clean sheets – ooh baby that is so much awesome… Just resheeted the bed a couple days ago and oh the comfort.

  6. the only thing more awesome than sheet swooping is the fact that you thought about it as awesome! i’m pretty good at picking out the good parts of life and focusing on them, but i have a feeling that you may just be on another level! haha i’m catching up though!

    1. Yehhhhhhhhhh…
      It’s Heaven on Earth:)
      It’s the “Tao of Inner and Outer Peace.”
      It’s “endorphinisms”
      Fun, Fun, FUN…contagious…
      It’s a happy place and having a positive butterfly effect…
      as you expressed…
      woohoohoohoohoo(that’s woody-wood-pecker!)

  7. Successful sheet swooping…
    gratitude for the water, soap, facilities, bodily functioning abilities… the means to launder! Having sheets and a bed to put them on, in a home with a roof over head… seriously, take it all in every time, the scents and sense when successful sheet swooping occurs, I’ve just had a little help from “my friends”, in this case, to the wings of the fresh bedding angels…thank you :)

  8. Hey Neil – what’s in the background of that photo with the new book and all the fun prizes you get if you pre-order? It looks like a plate of Ritz Crackers… did you get a little hungry while you were signing all those cards? Will we get some crumbs along with our stickers and bookplates?

    You wanna know what goes well on Ritz Crackers??


    1. Ha ha! Nice observation there. Are you going to keep Neil’s crumbs in a vial that you wear around your neck with the piece of Taylor Lautner’s belly button lint that you purchased off ebay?

        1. BWAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for posting that. I wouldn’t have had any complaints if they had made that a little bit longer…and maybe added in a little Nutella. Wow these crazy pain meds are making me sound creepy today.

  9. my eyes must really be suffering cos I first saw the title as ‘successful skeet shooting’ then as ‘successful sweet shopping’ :P

  10. Sigh. I like this so much.

    Every week, I embark on a solo mission to successfully swoop my sheets onto a king size bed that’s wedged into a corner. Every week, as I flop and climb and move things all around, I realize I failed at my mission. Every now and then though … just … every so often … gravity, wind, and a physics-defying flick of the wrists score me this magical experience.

    1. By the way … is the cover of this book made of some sort of reflective surface?! I like it! From some of the other pictures I’ve seen, I thought it was a light blue color. I CAN’T WAIT TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT BOOK!!! :D

      1. I can’t wait for the book either…..I NEED it!! I haven’t pre-ordered it just yet, I need to keep an eye on my money for a while to see how much I have left over. It may be something I tell someone to get me for my birthday in June, but I don’t think I can wait that long for it.

  11. When my daughter was little she used to keep herself busy for an hour by sheet swooping over and over again. She wouldn’t stop until it landed perfectly the way she wanted it to land and then she’d spend the next several minutes making sure it was straight with no wrinkles.
    I’d keep her busy by pretending to be getting ready for a nap and have her swoop a sheet over me….over and over and over and over and over again.

  12. You know, as a kid I would watch my mother swoop those sheets. I always marvelled at how it could be done…Funny enough, I’m now 25 and I can’t get it done!

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