#295 Location based snacks

Stuff that belly.

It’s time to enjoy some location based tastiness with some location based snacks:

• Massive bag of wet popcorn at the movies. Squirt some hot buttery-like substance on that corn get ready to chomp through the previews. Now, there are two possible endings to this story — dropping the three-quarters full bag to your feet after five minutes and cursing yourself for getting too much, or getting your hands and face disgustingly greasy while powermunching your way to the burnt kernels at the bottom.

• Assorted bag of no-name brand chips on an airplane. It’s all about the airplane snack that was made by that no-name company specializing in tiny bags of freezing cold Fritos knockoffs.
• Hot dog at the ballgame. Load that crispy-skinned wiener up with toppings and get ready to chow down with a big cup of suds before the first pitch. Soak up those afternoon rays and enjoy the ballpark air as your tastebuds start sizzling. It’s well worth the seventh inning heartburn.
• Pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. When you’re finished your third helping of mashed potatoes it’s time to make room for of a thick slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Undo your belt buckle and let the buttons pop because it’s time to let it all out … before stuffing it all in.
• Orange Julius at the mall when you’re in the middle of shopping with your girlfriend. It is illegal to drink Orange Julius anywhere else so grab a big straw and pray for relief.
• Funnel cake at the amusement park. “Hey, are we about to spin upside down on the roller coasters, crash into each other in bumper cars, and run around a pitch black haunted house? Cool, just lemme load my stomach up with a giant paper plate full of deep fried dough first.”
• Roasted marshmallows at the campfire. Oven baked marshmallows in front of the fireplace channel just isn’t as good.
• Anything the parents won’t notice is missing while you’re babysitting. After you put the kids to bed it’s all about snagging a handful of chocolate chips, diving into the open bag of chips, or taking a few spoonfuls of ice cream and then smoothing over the top so it looks like nobody was there.
Yes, location based snacks are great because they only come around once in a while. After all, ballpark franks and deep-fried funnel cakes might get boring every day but as little blips of tastiness they do the job just fine. So next time you’re racing around the mall, running around the fair, or finishing a giant family dinner over the holidays make sure you take the time to relax … indulge those hunger attacks … and enjoy some mouthwatering location based snacks.
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57 thoughts on “#295 Location based snacks

  1. This is off topic, but I did some cauculations and I realized that awesome thing #1 is going to be on Wednesday, April 4, 2012.

    1. uh.. tsqurv.. I’m not sure you did your math right.. P

      lease refer to my original calculation on the “About” page (June 27, 2008), where I calculated that the final awesome thing will be on April 20th, 2012.. Even though that calculation is now over 2.5 years old, I stand by that date.

      April 20th, 2012 – Mark it on your calendars.. we all know what is coming..

      #1 – Nutella!

      1. Isn’t that the same date the Mayan calendar says the world will end?

        …’cause my world will end when there aren’t more awesome things…

        1. I think that’s Dec 12, 2012…so there will be time for the end of Awesome to really sink in and make us all depressed before the world ends.

  2. I also love Cream Eggs this time of year. It’s interesting, I don’t buy other chocolate, so I probably wouldn’t buy them either if they were always around.

    1. “Just until Easter, then they’ll be gone! C-A-D-bury’s Easter Cream Eggs! oooo-oo-oo.” Ah, you’re too young to remember those roller-skating, satin-jacketted Cadburys eggs singers, but they were awesome!
      (or maybe you’re not too young, since they did trot that commercial out for about 20 Easters…)

  3. Haha this is one of my favourites!! I am one of those people who put down my popcorn bag within a half our of the movie and regret even buying popcorn in the first place, even when I buy a small. I just can’t finish it, ever!

  4. Oooh i LOVE the “Anything the parents won’t notice is missing while you’re babysitting.” one! Even though I was told to eat and drink anything I wanted to I felt guilty every time I took some chips, candies etc when the kids were sleeping, and always did it as a secret.

    1. I was not above getting up on a kitchen chair and seeing what’s hidden up there at the back of the cupboard over the refrigerator, because everyone knows that’s where mommies hide their special snacks that the little ones don’t get to share.

    1. Seriously????
      Make some at home.
      about 10 oz orange juice,
      1 egg
      2 tablespoons or so of vanilla pudding mix (instant) adjust this to taste
      some ice

      Blend in your blender and enjoy.


  5. Hooray for Orange Juliuses (even though of the three malls I could drive to, only one of them sells Juliuses). I will also add that a surprise s’more made by one’s husband utilizing the microwave then the toaster oven is a pretty decent second-place to being around a campfire.

  6. My sister worked at a funnel cake shop at the local amusment park last summer. After hearing everything that went on behind the scenes there, I will never eat a funnel cake again. Besides, a trip to Canada’s Wonderland is always more fun when they don’t get a dime of my money. The key is to have a good friend who works there so you can use of their free admission tickets they give to their employees.

    1. Please don’t tell us the details of what happens behind the scenes.. I never want someone to take away my joy of eating funnel cakes with all the toppings!

      I was recently at a fair with 3 friends, and we stumbled across a funnel cake stand.. and I was thinking of getting some, but didn’t want to put away the whole thing by myself.. and they are all like: “Awesome! Yeah! Get it.. we’ll share.. we’ll share!” So, I was thinking – yeah, split 4 ways? This shouldn’t be so bad for me.. turns out no one ate any of it, and I had to plow the whole thing down by myself.. I spent the rest of the afternoon waddling around feeling slightly ill..

      But you know what?


      1. My friend from high school came to visit me a couple months ago and we thought it would be fun to spend two days deep frying anything we could think of. I bought funnel cake mix to make deep fried Twinkies which went over pretty well, so I decided to brave actually making a funnel cake. This did not go so well and resulted in one of those burns that leaves you in throbbing pain for 4 hours until the nerves die and you can no longer feel anything. Anyways, the point of that story is that I too do not want to know what happens behind the scenes because I will now only rely on professionals for my funnel cake needs.

  7. Oh god, all so true. I love raiding the fridge at kids houses I babysit at! They have the best food – all of those fruitsnacks and goodies. How could you resist? Plus, the parents said help yourself!

  8. That hot dog is so not following the “condiments first” rule. And huzzah for the fireplace channel! But I think it’s ok to have baked s’mores in front of it if you can’t get to a proper campfire.

    1. Yay fireplace channel.. he does read our comments!! :)

      But I think that some of those location based snacks are made out of meat.. time for an open revolt in the comment section!

      The other item that I believe is 100% specific to airplanes? Bloody Mary Mix.. have you ever heard of anyone just drinking bloody mary mix, unless it’s on a plane? It’s always the 50 year old guy sitting next to you after a business trip on that flight from Dallas to Atlanta who just orders a can of that stuff..

      I once looked at a can of that stuff when the guy next to me ordered it.. I think one can of the stuff has something like 70% of your day’s sodium in it.. I bet it’s pretty yummy.. :)

      1. I am still impressed with the number of comments that porky post received.

        I’ve had bloody mary mix, ya know, mixed with vodka. The saltiness definitely adds a level of delicious that could only be trumped by bacon…ooh bacon bloody mary. I’m inventing that.

      2. Did you guys know that up here in the Great White North we also now have…brace yourselves… The Rotisserie Chicken channel. That’s right, 12 chickens spinning on a spit, snapping and crackling, and getting browner and crispier by the minute.

        1. I was about to accuse you of lying, but thought I should google it first…and it DOES exist! And there’s and aquarium channel and sunset channel too?

          1. Yes! Also, there’s a channel for relaxing that features silk blowing in the wind, water dripping and much more! My family loves the Rotisserie Chicken Channel, it even has a code that appears at the bottom of the screen to get free stuff at Swiss Chalet~! It’s amazing!!!

  9. I have a favorite location based BEVERAGE. I like Cherry Coke, sure, but my all time favorite beverage is a Cherry Coke from the fountain at the movie theaters … dunno why, but it’s perfect. Number two favorite beverage, Coca-Cola from the can at room temperature, especially with luke-warm deep dish Dominoe’s pepperoni pizza … now I’m thirsty, and hungry, and want to play video games … go figure :)

  10. I’m not trying to be arrogant, but being from NY, there is no better place to eat any kind of dough product that is supposed to be slightly chewy and slightly crunchy i.e., a bagel or pizza. PIZZA IN NEW YORK!!!?? There’s nothing better… food wise I mean.

  11. OMG they have like some of THE best funnel cake at disney(orlando) their funnel cake is awesome!!!!!!!!!! powdered sugar, strawberries, YUMMY!!!!!!!!!! XD XD

  12. This post is AWESOME!!! I can totally relate to the “Anything the parents won’t miss…..” That is hilarious (and so true)! I used to think that I was horrible……!?? LOL HOTDOGS at baseball games is a must! But I sure do love the Candied Apples and Italian Sausages from the County Fairs!!! MMMmmmmmm!!

  13. I use to get orange julius all the time until they opened a freshly squeezed in almost every mall I go to. It’s alot healthier because it’s only ice and the fruit you choose. Not frozen yogurt and “tropical juice” sugar filled additives

    1. And Cotton Candy too, especially purple FOR SURE!
      Popcorn, Orange Julius, absolutely everything herein this awesome piece of literature encapsulated a slice of heaven on earth, and then really… I do mean it, although not really location based…rainbow flavored S’MORE’S:)

  14. I … thought I was the only one who snuck a couple of small treats out of the cupboards while babysitting. I was always a big fan of flavoured/spiced crackers, which we never had at my own parents’ house. It’s always been one of those moves I wasn’t too proud of, even though I’d only take a few per visit and not even necessarily every time. Now I don’t feel so bad for my little dishonesty since it’s probably just one of those things everyone does which don’t really affect anything.

    1. That particular paragraph in your post, by the way, made me just roar with laughter. You are SO good at knowing how people tick.

  15. I totally agree that marshmallows by the campfire = best thing ever! Even better is sticking a small piece of chocolate into the marshmallow when it’s hot, thus melting the chocolate and creating a delicious gooeyness!!

  16. Totally missed one! I have no idea if someone’s mentioned it because I’m too lazy to read through the comments, but one of my absolute favorite parts of going to an amusement park or a sports game or some other kind of tourist trap is DIPPIN’ DOTS!!! Those lovely, cold, melty pearls of ice cream all piled into a bowl or a plastic baseball cap…mmmmm….doesn’t matter which flavor, they’re AWESOME.

    I don’t know if they’re available in supermarkets, but in my own experience I’ve only ever seen them at events and certain places.

  17. Anybody ever had Beavertails on the Rideau Canal in Ottawa? I live in Ottawa and I make sure to get one every winter. Mmmm sugary goodness. Don’t worrry, they’re fried dough, not actual dismembered beaver parts.

  18. Every September, a carnival rolls through my hometown … and it’s the only time when it’s somehow acceptable to stuff your face with complete JUNK as your evening meal. Thank goodness it’s only once a year; I don’t think anyone’s arteries could handle it any more frequently.

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