#115 Walking into a grocery store and seeing the first shipment of eggnog

My buddy Mike’s a sugar rat.

Whenever I visit his apartment downtown we end up watching movies, playing video games, and ordering pizza. And when we’re done snacking I always turn to him and say, “Hey man, you got any chocolate or anything?” We’re close, me and Mike, and have long passed the point where we’re too polite to only eat when we’re offered food. I’ll hunt around the man’s fridge like it’s my own and I expect him to do the same.

Now the funny thing is that when I ask him, Mike usually just heads to the kitchen and starts hunting through cupboards of really, really old Tupperware, under stale half loaves of bread at the bottom of the freezer, and behind dusty food processors above the fridge. Yes, he hunts until he pulls out a surprise pack of unopened Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or peels the lid off a brand new tub of ice cream.

My buddy Mike’s a sugar rat.

See, he doesn’t trust himself to have the good stuff in view, so he hides it in the cracks and corners of his place and hopes he’ll forget it. This is known as the Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind Diet Plan, and it seems to work wonders for him. After all, he doesn’t gorge himself on candy bars that much, and whenever a sweet-toothed pal is jonesing for a fix, he just goes hunting until he finds the gold.

I think Mike’s whole theory is the same one behind the entire eggnog industry.

Just think! They’re saying “Here, enjoy this deliciously sweet and creamy drink, but — ah, ah, ah! You can only have it in December. Here, grind some cinnamon on top, spike it with rum, break out the crystal punch glasses for sugary surprise in your mouth, but — ah, ah, ah! There’s none available in the new year.”

And thank goodness, thank gracious, thank God for that.

Because if we drank eggnog all the time we’d get pretty fat.

AWESOME!

Woo hoo! The Book of (Holiday) Awesome comes out in four days! If you live in the Toronto area, I’ll be at Indigo Bay and Bloor on Monday, November 14th at 7pm, Chapters Brampton on Wednesday, November 16th at 7pm, and Chapters Oshawa on Saturday, November 19th at 2pm. I’d love to meet you there.

Photos from: here and here

47 thoughts on “#115 Walking into a grocery store and seeing the first shipment of eggnog

  1. Yuk. :P

    But I understand the point. I don’t like brandy custard, either, but I get excited when I see it in stores, because my Pop always buys it at Christmas time. (:

  2. dudes i only agree with carrie eggnog is da bomb! i could drink a lot of it!
    but i also like apple cider!!!!!! ecpecally stones apple cider!!!!!!!!
    oh memories:)

  3. Honestly, I thought today’s post would be about the many who fought and died in the armed forces since World War I. Because that’s pretty awesome indeed, no matter whose “side” they were on at the time.

    1. Hmm… maybe tomorrow’s will be about it?

      Eggnog is nasty :( But I can see why it’s so exciting for some people :) It’s like getting Halloween candies from the grocery store. You can’t find those little buggers any other time of the year. They’re the perfect size to snack on :)

    2. My brother is a major in the Army and he loves egg nog so technically today’s post IS about the military. Awesome.

  4. Upon further research, I see that Remembrance Day (Nov 11) is mostly in the formerly British dominions, like Canada where I am, and that Americans in May celebrate a Veterans Day. Is that true? That sounds very interesting.

    It would also account for why there was no mention of it in the Nov 11 post. My apologies if I sounded shrewish; it’s kinda a big deal up here and it honestly surprised me :)

  5. we dont have eggnog over here but the same thing goes with mulled wine – surely its a seasonal winter drink.. they all vanish after Xmas

  6. I had some really intense déjà vu when I read this … until I remembered I read it in the sneak peek of The Book of (Holiday) Awesome … duh. Haha!

    I think the limited availability of eggnog definitely adds to its appeal. We probably wouldn’t appreciate it as much if we were able to get some all year!

  7. This happened to me yesterday and I was SO excited!!!!! I love it.

    Also, I thought of one the other day… walking into a clothing store wearing all clothes from that store. Happened to me in the 90s with The Gap, now happens with Target and Old Navy all the time. Ha.

  8. My son inventedHot Chocnog. It’s a seriously delicious combination of hot chocolate with egg nog added to make it creamy and cool it down just enough. I can’t see egg nog in the store without thinking of that first hot chocnog of the season. Mmmmmm

  9. Tis the season for hankering’s and sweet surprises!
    There’s nothing *sweeter* than someone who takes the mission seriously and let’s you rifle with them on the hunt! Here’s a tune for your next tupperware-lid-tossing-candy-hunting-sugar-frenzied-jonesing:)

  10. Ack! Another moment in lactose-intolerance non-awesomeness. Several years ago, I found a really, really good (and healthy!) soy egg nog, and I drank it like a fiend. But then the next year, it didn’t appear! I was crushed! Every year I hunt for it, but alas, I return emptyhanded.

  11. A great last line. Eggnog is so yummy but definitely oh so fattening. And when I’m home with my family for the holidays I’m usually the only one who likes eggnog…so that means the carton is just for me….dangerous.

  12. It reminds me of the first time in Spring when you go to the grocery store and there is that beautiful hyacinth smell when they sell them in the floral/produce section – another Awesome (Once a year!) event.

  13. I drink eggnog just because it puts me in the holiday spirit, haha I don’t even like it that much. Just the fact that my family has bought it and shoved it down my throat every year during the holiday season since I can remember makes me happy when i have it :)

  14. I was a flight attendant for many years and the airline I worked for would board cartons of egg nog during the holiday season. I assume we were supposed to offer it to the passengers but we always bogarded it. You know what is awesome? No more weight restrictions for flight attendants! :)

  15. Whenever I see eggnog I think of Boxing Day in the year 1966 when my Dad sent me down to the local variety store to get some more eggnog for friends and family. My best friend Suzy and I ran down and since Dad forgot to give me money I was forced to use some of my own Christmas money to buy the said Eggnog. As we were returning home the lights at the corner changed from yellow to red. Suzy made a run for it to get across and I of course followed. I never made it across the road. The poor woman who hit me was devastated. A major break in my leg left me in hospital and home schooled for the rest of the year. For years after I complained to my Dad that he never gave me the money back for the eggnog. He always retorted “Well I never got my Eggnog”.
    My Dad has now passed on but I smile remembering the annual and heated arguments we used to have about that silly container of eggnog.
    P.S. I hate the stuff, collects in the back of my throat and threatens to spew out at any moment. Guess that is why it bothered me so much to have spent my own Christmas money on it.
    Thanks for reminding me of my Dad

      1. This song reminds me of Vancouver’s Woodward”s Christmas windows when I was a child. It’s as though Florinstreet brought them to life~LOVE IT<3 Thanks!

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