#81 Being the oldest grade in school

Bow down, dirty rascals.

When you’re king of castle the entire school kneels before you:

1. Romeo has left the building. Those annoying older kids who got all the lead roles in school plays and starter spots on sports teams have graduated and gone far, far away. So wherefore art thou now? In the spotlight, baby. So shuffle over and claim your rightful chair as first clarinet of the mighty woodwinds.

2. All Godzilla Mode, All The Time. I work an office job where I’m about average height. Some are taller, some are shorter, but for the most part we’re all the same. But back in eighth grade I could storm school hallways and send three-foot first graders flying in all directions. It was like being in Giant World in Super Mario 3 for those kids. Of course, there is one major problem with Godzilla Mode — getting on your knees to use the short water fountain.

3. Backstage Passes And Secret Hideouts. Top grade means you’ve likely earned a lot of teacher trust and scored big brownie points over the years. Backstage passes could come in the form of special access to the A/V closet, responsibility for the gym equipment room, or perhaps the holy grail — a key to the school. Who’s up for Midnight Dodgeball?

Yes, when you’re the oldest grade in school you sure are loving it lots. Scoring prime cafeteria seats, getting first dibs on lockers, and doing it all without bullies from the big grades is a big deal. So savor every single second of your year long You Dynasty and rule the school with a big steely fist full of


Photos from: here, here, and here

22 thoughts on “#81 Being the oldest grade in school

  1. Our school had a summer fire so our 2 grade seven classes had to settle into the junior high’s cafeteria, “MILES from home!”
    We felt very small, (and were), as well as resented, (and were!)…taking up space in their cafeteria for months!
    When the new wing was completed for us to return to elementary, we did with feist to rule the school! They needed us!
    A school mate recently reminded me of this- our dutiful cheer:
    “We are the Cheeta teama’ scorers and we’re here to say, we’re the toughest pack of Cheeta’s in the world today…
    We’re stronger and we’re faster than any of you…
    We got de’steem- watch what we can do! GO Cheetah’s!”
    1.Just who did we think we were anyway?
    2.How in God’s name did she remember this?
    This much I know, we were still so innocent, we ruled with soft paws and this was the best year ever! “Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end!”

    1. Go Cheetahs! Not to be confused with “Go Cheaters”, which I would not condone nor encourage. Although I do think some random school on the other side of the tracks should adopt “The Cheaters” as their school mascot. Maybe Hamburglar could be their mascot.

      1. I nearly shamelessly devoured 2 all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame bun (s) this past month! Had to bring the Hamburglar into this huh!

  2. I repeat, “Soft paws. SOFT PAWS, everbody!”
    Elmo just wants to say…”EVERBODY!!! Come out, come out wherever you are!!”

        1. I don’t want it to be misunderstood that we were some kind of bullies and that go down in history! Factually, my friend’s and I were also select few to be trusted as noon hour office monitors AND remedial readers for younger children in need! We were the kindest role models at the top of the school…”looking down on creation; our love put you on the top of the world!”

  3. I think most of us had that feeling – for five minutes! Then the same old high school hierarchy kicks back in and we were oppressed by people our own age!

  4. I really like this post as I can really relate to it. I am in the oldest year at my school and that is how it feels.
    I’m currently trying out to host a school event and I know a lot of younger students want to get the part but to be honest, it will probably be me.
    We do have a nicer side towards the younger students, though. Helping around the school when they are lost or have teacher trouble. Recently, a student in our youngest year tripped and had their food thrown on top of them, much to the amusement to the other students in the cafeteria. But I, being older and more knowledgeable, decided to get her clothes changed and help her. Also, our knowledge of the teachers we had in the previous years can help other students who have homework trouble with these teachers, making us a useful life-line for them.
    At times like these I guess the younger students appreciate the older ones and try to follow their example when they reach the older years in the school too.
    We rule the school! :D

  5. Robert, they vary. It’s up to your authors. Many on the letters coming up are handwritten, or hand-notated, it’s about half and half. Though most in the first letters were typed. The fourth letter was a comic.

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