#75 Pulling a big clump of hair out of the drain

Admit you like it.

We all know slippery soap suds, rogue belly button lint, and assorted leg hair goes down smooth. But our long hippie head hair sure gets the bathtub traffic jamming and our tubs slowly filling up till we’re suddenly walking around a wading pool.

Oh sure, we may try to ignore it — splashing around up to our soap-suds-filmy ankles — but the truth is that clogged drains aren’t going away and we need to face the truth.

It’s time to get down to business.

Yes, it’s time to pathetically bend your soaking wet naked body a full ninety degrees until you’re face to face with the Hairy Eye of Sauron that is your bathtub hole. Don’t just stand there! Squeeze two fingers together and get digging. Slide past the slippery rusted-metal sides, grab onto a few rogue hairs at the top, twist a couple knot tangles around your finger, and then slowly twirl your hand while pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling…

In a way you’re like a clown pulling colorful silk hankies out of a top hat in a magic show. How deep does it go? Does anyone know? You just keep pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling … and more keeps coming out. The only difference is that at the end of the show there isn’t a stage full of colorful hankies.

There’s just a disgusting wet handful of hair that looks like a small boneless rodent.

AWESOME!

Who’s read The Book of Awesome ?

Photo from: here

67 Comments

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67 Responses to #75 Pulling a big clump of hair out of the drain

  1. Okay, screw that. I’d say it’s more awesome when the drain’s cleared – not the actual act of pulling out dirty, stinky hair that contains pubes and slime… Yuck! I’d have to say this is a pretty bad post yo.

  2. Ick-awesome to get the drain flowing again, but ick!

  3. Ewww, no thank you! Haha. :P

    On another note — oh my freaking God, we’re one quarter of the way through our final posts. *le gasp!*

    • wendy

      Ya, I know and I had an anxiety attack yesterday!!! Where we all going to meet up and share life’s adventures and awesomes:(

  4. trixierix

    EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! Seriously, I gagged trying to do this when I 1st rented an apartment. I never wash my hair in the shower so it was the previous renter’s. This is why God invented boyfriends. I couldn’t do it.

  5. Emmy

    Hahaha this one is pretty yuck but it made me laugh! I could relate to every single word. I have such thick, long brown hair, and I lose a lot of it too, so it always gets caught in the drain and collects on the carpet and the couch and the bathroom mat…. anyway. One time last year the drain got so clogged that the bath was filling up as people showered, and I even tried to pull out the hair but nothing would come out, it was so firmly stuck. I think Mum had to cut it out with scissors in the end :S But yes this is definitely awesome when the drain is cleared, and the hair that comes out definitely does look like a small boneless rodent! Haha!

  6. AnneMarie

    Drain-O is way more awesome.

  7. The detail you go in to describing this act is totally gross. But yes, there is a feeling of achievement when you manage to pull it all out. Especially when you know that most of it’s yours! How am I not bald yet?

    Maria xx
    http://www.cheekypinktulip.blogspot.com

  8. Catherine

    Nope. This is one of the worst things. I gag every time I have to touch the hair that’s even close to the drain. This is one awesome thing that I could definitely do without.

  9. YES thank you! I love doing that!

    I am otherwise a very untidy person, but i cannot have half-working things in my house. I don’t care about clothes all over the place, because they don’t cause anything to malfunction. but when a sink (kitchen goes there as well, bathroom sink, tub, ….) is only half open, i hate to wait to have clear water in it.

    Honestly, I never understood my friends at uni, that had everything tidy, but never touched any of the really important stuff.

    And that is why I actually like doing it. And if I am grossed out, I can use gloves (they are awesome too!)

    greetings all the way from austria

  10. Kim

    I have to agree with the others who felt this was totally disgusting. I just visited my mother-in-law over the holidays and found the tub wouldn’t drain. We hadn’t visited in a few years, so clearly that hair was NOT mine! I shudder to think how many guests used that bathroom and contributed to what my husband ultimately pulled out of the drain. It was more like a well fed Capybara than a small rodent. Yuck.

  11. wendy

    *Calling on JDurley! What’s the tally?
    Rogue belly button and long hippie head hair, just makes me want to sing…

  12. JT

    I hate wet hair, especially if it’s not mine. Clearing clogged drains are disgusting but yeah, it has to get done. I lived with three female roommates before and I was the one that got in there with a screwdriver and plunger to get the hair out. Ugh, but it’s satisfying to get it out and allow the water to run down. I personally don’t like walking around a wading pool while I’m trying to shower.

    • jdurley

      Screwdriver and plunger is pretty hardcore, JT! I have this nifty “tool” which is basically a 2 foot long skinny flexible bristle brush that you can stick down the drain (even goes around curves) and grabs onto everything in there. It’s pretty hard to clean, but you can even use it on a sink that still has the plug thingy on it. It’s pretty great.

  13. milly

    What do you known, it is actual the situation in my house, let me go and the pulling.

  14. Would’ve been AWESOME for you guys to give credit for using my photo.
    http://dadand.com/2011/11/23/how-to-fix-a-clogged-drain/

  15. GraceFace

    Best thing about having short hair= barely any hair lost in the shower :D

  16. This one is actually quite gross! I can apreciate the feeling of victory, but seriously?

  17. I love doing this! It is so satisfying to pull all that gunk out that was clogging the drain. I thought it was only me that liked this!

  18. Black Bear

    Really long needle nose tweezers make this task and the outcome even more so gratifying:) Trust me…”I’m harry noon and nighty-night-night!”

    • Kathy

      I laughed immediately ‘cuz 1) Awesome reference to the Cowsills’ Hair! Great oldie and now I’ll be singing it all day…LOL. 2) I LOVE to use long nose tweezers to get the little hairy manimals out of my drain! Couldn’t relate to the ear wax one as well as this one. The feeling of satisfaction from cleaning out the gunk and then seeing the water flowing freely down the drain is a “Hal-le-lu-jah!” moment! I have really thick hair and frequently clog the drain. I’ve even had to do this in an apt. into which I had just moved and was the not one to do the gunking, and even though it was a little gag-inducing, it was still sooo rewarding!

      • Black Bear

        BIG SMILE!
        btw: If you ever have a pussy willow stuck up a nostril, they work as well, but leave the ear wax to a pro, NEVER put needle nose tweezers in your ear!

  19. Gabriel

    I haven’t quite figured out why but during the week of the full moon this matter becomes a really “harried” issue! Woo-woo-woooo-woo-wooooooooo

  20. I just did this last night… and I find if the hair isn’t so much I’m disappointed. I love pulling out TONS of hair. :)

    • Kathy

      Agreed, Stacey! To make up for the ugh factor and reach ultimate satisfaction, it’s much more rewarding to pull out something the size of a guinea pig or at least an overstuffed hamster!

  21. alexandria

    Ew! NO! I’ve had to do this twice in my life and both times I gagged from the smell. The only time in 22 years something other than the flu has literally made me sick to my stomach

    • Kathy

      Though I appreciate cleaning the drain, I’m home recuperating from the flu and have to admit I wouldn’t want to tackle it at the moment.

  22. lets not forget the joyous feeling when water finally goes down the drain.. hahaha brilliant!

  23. LOL!

    I have thick, dark hair & my husband always complains about it clogging the drain. I’ve gotten in the habit of unclogging it myself.

    I use a crochet hook. Works awesome!

  24. Puppies are the best

    am i seriously the only one here that likes doing this

  25. Steinbach

    Just did it last night! I’m in a bliss! Excited to take next shower and being aware everything will wash away!!! Yeah!

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