#59 Big hair

“Look down,” Leslie said. “All the men are bald.”

We were sipping paper cups of water during intermission at a play last night and she was looking over the railing into the intermissing-throngs below. There was a lineup for brownies at the snacks table and a messy sea of people milling about, chatting, squeezing past each other to go to the bathroom.

When I peered over the railing I saw dozens and dozens of shiny heads blinking up at me. Four-strand combovers, bumpy bald spots, shaved heads — most guy were sporting one of ’em. We were there with my sister, brother-in-law, and parents too so I pointed out Leslie’s scientific discovery to them as well.

“All the men are bald.”

“That’s what happens when you get older, Neil. You lose hair, you will see. Women do too!,” my dad said.

But I do see, I do see all right. I’ve had the receding coastline peeling back over my forehead for years now. I’m afraid of the future because it’s already buzzcut or no-cut for me. My days of wildly shaggy locks whipping in the wind as I zoom my convertible down twisting cliffside highways are over … before they even began.

People, please: listen to me! Big hair is better. If you have the locks to go for it then go for it, go for it now! Let the dreads grow down your back like jungle vines. Let the afro puff out to the size of a beachball. Let your shaggy mane grow around your head till you look like a lion. AND THEN ROAR!

Big hair really is better. And if you don’t believe me, just check out this numbered list:

1. Bankrupt the hat industry. No need for drawers full of wool hats, parade tams, and ballcaps, people. Now’s the time to let your big hair keep your warm. Yes, big hair is the cheapest, most portable, least loseable hat around!

2. Free your mind. We’re all more creative than we let ourselves be. You know those crazy thoughts peeking up at the corners of your brain? That’s the real you and it’s okay to be insane. Big hair lets creativity run free before pesky civilized norms get you all proper. If you’re cutting your big hair for job interviews, photo shoots, or snobby parties that’s a sign you’re getting old. Just look at nuclear physicists, teenage rockers, and babies with their wild, anything goes big hair and undoubtedly bubbling brains. (Folks, it’s like I always say: We can learn much from The Baby.)

3. Look like a walking party. Fun is always around the corner. Jokes in the middle of the meeting, dance-offs in the middle of the party, and wisecracks at the back of class. Look, we’re social animals who love high-fiving and side-splitting as much as we can. That’s the beauty of having big hair — people think you’re fun and you become the center of easy smiles and good times.

People, it’s like I said before: If you can grow big hair then do it! Grow it out, curl it up, and be yourself for real. Just bring on that big hair … before it’s too late! Bring on that big hair … and let fear dissipate! Bring on that big hair … and let your head bomb detonate!

Bring on your big hair and let’s all celebrate.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, here, and here

39 thoughts on “#59 Big hair

  1. Although big hair on other people is a pretty awesome thing, I hate having hair that’s too long. There’s so much up-keep for it … especially since it’s so thick. I prefer it short, otherwise it gets itchy and too hot when I sleep. And, I wouldn’t want to bankrupt the hat companies; I like hats. Hats are fun. Plus, while you bankrupt them, you make the hair product companies richer, since you’ll be using more shampoo, conditioner, etc.

      1. Exactly! As I was reading #2 and it started talking about babies, I was like, oh yeah, BHB is gonna be at the bottom! Yowza!

        And hey, Laura, it’s good to see you. Where you been?

        1. Thank you! It’s good to be back! :)

          I’ve been trapped in a never-ending black hole of teaching-related, time-sucking, un-awesome activities. BOO. I’m sick of missing out on this first-class awesome, though, and I’m back for good!

          1. So good to see you here, “for good”, Laura. Thought Freddo would’ve followed your bright example…Awesome rules!

            1. YEH! Laura’s back. For Neil it must feel like all his duckling’s are home! “All but one little duck with the feather in his hat…who seemed to lead the other’s with his quack, quack, quack!” Where’s Freddoooooooo!

    1. I did, too, Melodie! How thrilling it is to see BHB! You know there’s a chance for this world when the pic of a BHB is all it takes for us to wear our big ole’ sloppy grins! BHB=all is right with the world :)

    2. I KNOW IT!!!! I’ve been missing that kid lately, probably because I’ve been reading these posts as they appear instead of all at once when I first started. But I was just thinking about BHB over the last couple days and then, BOOM! I wasn’t expecting that pic but I was so glad it showed up!

      1. OH MY GOD YESSSSS Hahaha I was just waiting for Bed Head Baby to appear as soon as I read about babies too :PP So glad he’s here again! And Kathy you’re definitely right: BHB= All is right with the world!
        Also, Jdurley: Will this one count for me???

  2. I was just thinking about this the other day as I keep having to get my hair thinned while having subderal hygroma treatments that really mess with the head, both inside and out! At least you haven’t the fear of losing your hair…expose dented, scarred and lumpy skull!
    No. You have a handsome genious bald head to be poud of~ Awesome:)

    1. I have “a sister and bros” with these fro’s, and figure this- their “roots” are Celtic and TFN! Cross the borders auburn, long, big and wide! My daughter’s were born with half the hair. However; my grand-daughter inherited “the hair” and to make it even more interesting, it’s butter-cup blonde, resembling Shirley Temple! It’s a sight and force to reckon with every morning but the stops, eyes popped, jaws dropped, big smiles and compliments she gets make big-wild-hair easier to deal with and her proud! AND her personality… fills every awesome cork-screwed tousle!

  3. FUNNY STORY. We went as a family to go see a production of Hair (ironically enough) and the two little brothers were NOT keen on going. When we got to the theatre they were listing all the possible arguments as to why they shouldn’t be there and finally Arjun said “Do you see ANY kids here? NO! There’s only like……bald heads here!” Great times.

  4. AWESOME blog! Read just two passages and got really touched. There was an article about you and the blog in the Swedish newspaper Metro today. I hope that a lot of Swedes will start following your blog. We need a bit of AWESOME here. Some people dont realize how much there is to be gratefull for.
    You are on my AWESOME-list today!

    Thank you,

    Anna

  5. My sister and I always used to go through my parents’ yearbooks (they graduated in the 70s) and marvel at the big hair in there. We’d rank them by big-ness, and there was always excitement when we got to our favorite — this guy had a fro that went outside the confines of the square-school-photo. That thing just kept going … who knows how far? It was definitely awesome. :D

      1. :)

        We (my sister and a few friends) would play this song all the time on the jukebox in our basement and run around singing it with beanbags on our heads (as hair, naturally — BIG hair at that!).

        1. You had a juke box! We had a hair brush, mop and vacuum wand!
          You have got to be an American eighties, “Hot child in the city!” :)

  6. Thanks for the pep talk, Neil! I’m a shy/conservative person who just wants to blend into the background, but I have big hair. It’s always been a negative thing in my life even though I get compliments on it from time to time. From this point on I will try to view it differently.

    1. Not only do I have big hair, but I have a kind of big head…LOL! In fact, my brother and I both have big heads with lots of hair. Having so much thick hair worked really well in the 80s. While everyone strove to have big hair, I had the biggest! Ya can’t imagine what a blowdryer, hot rollers, and a curling iron can do to already big hair…LOL! The unfortunate part of big hair is that the women with it tend to have more hair in places we don’t want hair. *sigh* On those days my hirsuteness annoys me, I remind myself that my 83 year old mom still has big hair, so at least I’ll have a full head of hair as I age. THanks for the props for those of us with big hair!

  7. otoh the motto of our family (of men with receding hair starting in their 20’s) from my grandfather on down to me has always been “you can’t have hair and brains too” :-)

  8. Have you read about the kid in Michigan who is growing his hair for Locks of Love? His hair as only reached 2 and 1/2 inches and he has been suspended from school because of it! Can you believe that?

  9. I have a huge mane of hair. It gets especially big and fluffy when I brush it or wash it and leave it out to dry, thus I only brush it just before washing. The tribulations of having thick, frizzy, long hair! But I do like it :3 Two particular friends of mine in choir, that are sisters themselves and joke that I am their sister too, are in love with my hair! Haha it’s so funny, they love the big-ness of my hair and I love their hair’s vivid red colour. But yes! I can safely say that I have met no one with bigger hair than mine, and I am learning to be proud of it :D

  10. I have really long, really curly hair, and its pretty poofy. This one time I was trying to see if it looked okay in this tiny mirror I always have in my purse and I had to hold the mirror back a ways to see all my hair. My friend cracks up and says “you have a LOT of hair, but it always looks amazing” SO SWEET! And come to think of it, people everywhere apparently love it, and tell me so, cashiers, flight attendants, that person who operates the elavator for you, etc. So yeah, it is insanely awesome :)

  11. Pingback: mark mania

Comments are closed.