#40 Blankets

No offense fire, wheel, and printing press.

But blankets are the greatest technology ever invented.

Yes, there we were, running around naked in the plains — shivering in the rains, slipping in mud stains, losing heat from our brains — when one of our Cave Grandparents thought of just tearing off another animal’s fur and draping it over ourselves. Sure, maybe it wasn’t polite, but it sure did the job.

We used this new Blanket Technology for hundreds of thousands of years with literally no advances of any kind, except for chopping off the head, chopping off the paws, and the Snuggie.

To this day blankets offer us so much:

1. Instant protection. When you’re a kid blankets fend off monsters and prevent robbers from seeing you. Also, blankets give newborn babies a sense of security, warmth, and closeness that feels like the womb. Which is probably why most of us still sleep with a blanket every night … even when it’s hot out. We’re flailing, snot-smeared screaming babies without them.

2. Release the flame within. When I was a kid I didn’t realize our bodies were giving off heat until a teacher had us breathe into our hands to feel the warmth. We are all little fires — heating up rooms, beds, and planets. And blankets help us capture that heat and blow it back on ourselves. In a way, every piece of clothing we wear today is just a little blanket. Sure, they may be shaped into underwear, sweatshirts, and skullcaps, but they all started off as tiger pelts. Remember that.

3. Saving money, saving ourselves. Cranking thermostats drains our planet of natural gas, heating oils, and big buckets of coal. Since we don’t have enough to last forever a vote for the blanket is a vote for our future. And blankets don’t expire, fade away, or go bad. They don’t need outlets, batteries, or recharging. They just last a long time so we can last a long time too.

No offense fire, wheel, or printing press. Sorry computers, steel, and glass. No offense car, telephone, or microprocesser. But one invention has got you all outclassed.


Photos from: here, here, and here

61 thoughts on “#40 Blankets

  1. OK, ‘fess up, who has a Snuggie??? I want one!

    Blankets are fantastic for so many things! Definitely used mine to hide from monsters and robbers; plus, making livingroom tents absolutely requires blankets as does dressup in a swirling princess dress. No curtains for that first apartment/dorm room? Throw a blanket over the rod!

        1. And my daughter C.C., who loves fashion like Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, has a sage green one…she can pull anythi goff and is adorabley lovely in it!

          1. ooh, I know those sage green ones you’re talking about Wendy. They are beyond spectacular. I only wish someone could find a way to sort out all the hopelessly confused loose threads. I couldn’t even think about wrapping myself in one now, it would just get tangled up, but it would be nice.

                1. oh, wendy, you can trust me. I meant this gently. Me, I’m frightened by lots of things. Like turnip puffs, and kids holding spiders, :) or when my boyfriend breaks up with me and goes over to the dark side suddenly. It’s always nicer to turn the light of scary things while holding the hand of a close friend you can trust (like me, & maybe like you?). Don’t you agree?

                    1. google phallic mushroom and you’ll see many more images as well as their aka *we had the pink ones!
                      T dbl. E dbl. R dbl. R dbl. I dbl. F dbl.Y dbl. I dbl. N dbl. G…keeping on topic…learned they love cedar mulch blankets…conclusion~No more cedar mulch for my flower beds!

      1. Hehehe!! I had a feeling this was going to come up! And hers keeps her extra warm because it’s covered in Nutella!

        (We’ve gotten a little out of control.. we now have 4 snuggies.. keep in mind, only two people live in our house..)

        But this post is right – Yay Blankets!

        1. my grandson presently has a blankie across his tummy, one round his neck and another over his head…hmmm, i think he has an innovative new design for the snuggly…a huggly perhaps! perfect for the new hair and no hairs full of genious alike:)

    1. Blanket forts are the best! I made one when I was 30 and it was still just as awesome as it was as a kid, only bigger. Mine was big enough for three people and two cats. :)

    2. I turn my housecoat backwards if I want to sit down and read a book or something and still be covered on my arms. I live in a small place though and don’t have room for very much extra storage. Have to be creative. Snuggies do look like they are bigger though – maybe more covereage?

  2. Just awesome guys, literally! I needed this. Did something similar to ya’lls site on my website and someone said I had to jump over here and get some more awesome feelings for a craptastic week. So glad I did. Now, to catch up with the many that I’ve missed!

    1. Welcome.. you caught up just in time.. You’ve got the next 39 business days to read the psat 960 posts so you can be all caught up before we get to #1!

    1. This rocks!!!!!!!!!! Its so true!!!! Blankets are our protection from the dangers of cold and monsters. Love it =D

  3. Blankets are definitely SO awesome! You’re right, even when it’s warm, sometimes it’s good just to snuggle into a blanket for comfort. I have blankets all over the place: back of the couch, basket in the living room, ends of beds, ON beds, closets, trunk of my car …

    One can never have too many blankets.

    1. That’s my motto! When I shoop for them, I go for colour moods and textures. I have a coral throw, I don’t even know what it’s made of but the cheerful colour, no static and soft combo makes it perfect! My daughter CC. claims it whenever she comes to visit. When she goes home, (300 miles away), I can wrap myself in her scent:) Every once in a while though I’m challenged by my own motto when I look around and see; knowing how it feels to not have enough…guilt grabs hold, I take a bag to the homeless shelter’s and begin the next cycle of fulfilling my blanket motto shopping. I thinks it’s a healthy “motto”…with sharing…warming the planet and all:)

      1. It’s a chenille blend! Really soft! Leaves polka-dotted-dents on your face if you sleep deep, but it’s really worth it!

  4. Dear Cave Grandparents,
    Who threw the tiger pelt blanket,
    Who are ultimately responsible for today’s industry of fashion,
    Still seen in some grass-rooted-ness.
    Though your reputation’s raucous,
    I could never’ve survived without!
    You are so courageous, Your picture should be posted to define the epitome of bodascious!
    Thank you Cave Grandparents and thank you Neil, for making this gratitude opportunity possible:)

  5. This past Christmas, my sister gave me the most hilarious zebra-print fake fur blanket. So cheesy, I sort of inwardly rolled my eyes until I touched it. Soooo soft and comforting. Damned if it isn’t my favourite that I snatch every night come TV time now. My 5 year old daughter loves it, too.

    Also, I quilt. Making oneself a blanket one can then use is pretty awesome, too.

    1. I quilt too! Rag quilts are the best don’t you think? No filling- the flannel back does all the work. Nothing to bunch up or fall out of place and they last forever! (yes, i said flannel-back jdurley and Laura:)
      A quilt my grannie made coccooned me and helped save my life in a serious mva!
      *BLANKETS SAVE LIVES! I think we should all travel with a blanket from now on… and make today officially- Global Blanket Day:)
      “May the love of blanket surround you- everywhere, everywhere, you may go…”

  6. Here’s how reading this went for me:
    sees title, thinks: oooh, we’ll need to talk about Freddo’s wife’s slanket
    starts reading, scrolls down far enough to see the photo of the snuggie: abandons reading the post and heads straight to the comments in anticipation of Freddo’s wife’s slanket mentions.
    Hands in the air: Laura and Wendy ftw!
    Back up to read the rest of the article in peaceful contentment.

    1. lulz…

      Now you know how I feel everytime I see a post that has a toilet or bathroom comment… except, being on the west coast, I never get here in time..

      I always see the post and think: “Oooh! ooh! I can be the first to *tick*..” followed by scrolling down and seeing it covered several hours earlier..

  7. Blankets are my greatest joy in life. I have a special one for my couch and two special ones for my bed (which are small and travel easily).

    So what? Call me Linus if you have to. :)

  8. I never understood other people’s obsessions with various objects, collecting them and owning way too many and taking a painstaking joy in choosing the right one for the right occasion, until I discovered… BLANKETS.

  9. What’s better than blankets? Socially Responsible Blankets! Check out Keep it Warm, a socially-responsible blanket and warmth apparel start-up founded by college students. For every blanket sold, they donate one to someone suffering harsh, cold conditions within the US. They provide hope and life-saving warmth to those most in need! Join the movement, help others, and Keep it Warm at http://www.facebook.com/keepitwarm.

  10. So if you’ve all run out to patent that *snuggly has hood*, my Noah invented this morning, remember us, okay…..just saying:)

  11. I never thought of the Snuggie as such a leap in a dated technology, but it really is amazing. I have a much deeper appreciation for it now. It really is Awesome!

    1. I haven’t read this one yet, as I’m still back in the 700s trying to catch up, but I just knew it would have to be on the list. That giant pile of blankets on a cold night is the best thing about winter.

      1. Oh, back in the 700’s??? I remember when…
        What a ride you are on… and in for…
        And so right already re: blankets!!!
        I’ll honour your sacred space; be more discreet; not give too much away like a person who’s already seen the movie and won’t hush up=D
        ttfn, Ana

  12. A 1-sentence personal story:

    When you’re homeless, sleeping in Queen’s Parking under a tree, in the rain…

    …blankets take on a whole new meaning, and you can’t help but appreciate them on a level that is almost magical.

    God, I love blankets.


    Congrats on ostensibly getting down to the end of awesome things, Neil! I imagine you’ll soon have a lot more time on your hands…

  14. So true! Blankets, besides making you all toasty and warm, can give you the warm fuzzes, too! I have one that my late grandmother crocheted for me, but never was able to finish. Its my go-to every night on the couch! Like a big unending grandma hug!!

    1. We have 2 grandma hug blankets! One from my Nona and one from my hubby’s mom. My mom knits blankets for graduation so every grandkid gets one to take to college dorm rooms and first apartments. Awesome!

  15. My dream retirement is to never must deal when using the cold of winter or heat of summer. An A-Frame in Vermont in addition to a cottage by the sea near Savannah.

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