#967 Illegal naps

Illegal Nap

You know what’s even better than laying on a hammock in the backyard on a sunny Saturday afternoon? Better than catching a few winks after classes before a long night out at the bars? Better than falling asleep on the couch with the baseball game on the radio? You know what’s even better than all that?

I’ll tell you what: illegal naps, my friend. Sneaking them in when you ain’t supposed to.


Napping any time you know you shouldn’t be napping has a bit of an edgy, dangerous feel to it, like sneaking into a movie, sharing a free-refill soda at Applebee’s, or coming across customs without declaring the new sweater you’re wearing.

I’m talking about driving away from work at lunchtime, parking in a nearby parking lot, tilting back your driver’s seat, and then sneaking in a little siesta before an afternoon full of meetings. I’m talking about waking up groggily at 11am after a long night, chomping on handfuls Corn Pops while surfing the Internet for an hour, then going back to the bedroom to crash all afternoon, building towards that exotic and sinful Day O’ Naps. Yes, I’m talking about the naps you pull off in the bathroom stall at work, the ones at the back of the bus just before your stop, and the naps you take in the middle of a big bout of procrastination before a deadline, where you convince yourself that after a few zzz’s you’ll have more energy to finish up that big paper due in a few hours.

So come on! If you’re with me then you agree life’s just too short not to sleep when you feel like it. So lower those blinds, unplug that alarm clock, and nap strong, nap long, and nap proud, my friends.


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102 thoughts on “#967 Illegal naps

  1. I live in a small town, therefor, small Library, and the kids room has some majorly comfy pillows, these things are 5 ft across, and they’re all kept in a corner were one bookcase ends and the wall.
    I’ve fallen asleep one thase awesome pillows about 7 times.

  2. I sleep all the time during class! Well, technically it’s not illegal for me to nap during class because I suffer from random debilitating migraine attacks, but still. I remember this one time we had a sub in Drama and I didn’t feel good so I went and tok a nap in the back row of the theater. Surprisingly comfortable! My freshman science teacher would show these really boring videos during class and everyone would take a nap! Another time, during Winter Homecoming week, it was some random dress day so I was allowed to wear my sunglasses inside. My English teacher loathed me, and i wasn’t particularly fond of her either, so just to make her mad, I took a nap during class. I ended up not being caught because I was sitting there with my shades on and apparrently she thought I was paying attention!

  3. Oh my goodness. I think you consulted me when writing this. I have done all of the above illegal naps and even more. Don’t forget to add, sleeping at the gate at the airport and setting your alarm clock on your phone for when the plane is supposed to board.

  4. I had a government job. My desk was underneath a ceiling vent which sounded just like white noise when the Ac or heat was turned on. I would fall asleep for several hours at a time. Also when I was bored I’d just go to the bathroom and sleep sitting on the toilet for 2-3 hours. I miss that job.

  5. I’m a veritable pro!!! Had to strip beds in the hotel industry way back… strip a few, go into one and hang the “do not disturb” sign on the door. Easy nap.
    Working for your government I had a shift that started at 2am. When you finished the morning job, there really wasn’t much to do until about 6 when people showed up… So from about 4 – 6 it was lean back and enjoy my cubby hole, or go out to the truck where I keep a blanket and rack out for about 2 hours.

  6. I love naps. Some people meditate and it relaxes them. When I meditate I fall asleep and wake up really rested. When I was working and nobody was around I would put up my feet, move the keyboard and pass out. Or I like to be on my Folding Chair

  7. And the best way to give yourself a giggle is to fall asleep on one of those plastic strap loungers by the pool on a warm spring afternoon and wake up to discover that your face has the same pattern as the chair. It’s a long, dignified walk back to your house, knowing that you’ve made a big impression!

  8. The best ones are when you are working at a theme park such as Ontario Place. I remember during the summer time, my friends and I would be working the park grounds cleaning gross bins, but about 85% of the time we would all be sleeping or catching snoozes’ in the bin area or behind the hills where no on ever went.It was great times. This theme park had the best places ever and the greatest sleeping spots to for 16 hour shift.

  9. I don’t know how many times I woke up in the library with my notes stuck to my face, a puddle on the page of a text book, or my arm asleep from the weight of my lifeless noggin. Illegal naps got me through university.

  10. Greatest naps I took were when interrailing. Whenever we had to wait for a train we’d crash in whichever quiet corner we could find in the station, put our heads on our bags and sleep. Love the feeling of being between two places.

    1. I’m hoping Kelly Powell is going to help me achieve this one~beautifully and sweetly!

  11. I was spending the day at Disneyworld with my family one day, and we were taking a shuttle bus from one park to another. I had to sit next to a stranger while my wife and son sat a couple of rows behind me. I was tired and sitting on the bus made me even sleepier and at some point I dozed off and my head flopped on the guy’s shoulder next me! I immediately woke up and mumbled “sorry,” and to his credit he completely ignored me. When we got off the bus my wife and son were laughing their heads off. My wife had seen my head bobbing and knew I was dozing off and pointed it out to my son, so they were both watching when I nodded off onto the guy’s shoulder.

  12. I’m not sure if this counts as an illegal nap but on the bus to and from school I can be found sleeping. I am the first one to get picked up by the bus, and it takes an hour to get to school. I have to be at the bus stop by 6:40, so as soon as I get on I find a seat, use my backpack as a pillow, and fall asleep. I also have a quick nap on the way home on the bus. I have it timed perfectly so I wake up the moment the bus turns into the school driveway, or when it gets close to my house.

  13. I used to take illegal naps when I worked at Toys R Us a long time ago in another galaxy. It was late at night when my partner and I would go in to do clean up of the facilities. We would be locked in until the next morning when the manager would let us out. We didn’t need the full 10 hours to do the job, and for the first while, we would comb through the aisles looking at all the toys and games, but that gets old quick. Eventually, I took to napping under the baby beds (as there was ample room) until the sun came up. That was about 3-4 hours of good sleeping there, even if it caused my neck to cramp up. There were a few close calls when the manager showed up, and my partner would spend time trying to look for me, often without success. :D

  14. I had a prof who showed us films in class quite regularly. When the lights went out, that was my cue to put my head down on my desk and take a nap. We even had to write essays making reference to the films, and somehow I managed to pull it off just by looking up a synopsis online! I was caught once, though. My friend kicked me and I nearly jumped out of my seat. My prof laughed and said he hoped he wasn’t disturbing my nap, then continued on with the lecture.

  15. I catch a few seconds of sleep at the gym, in between long and hard workouts, in that leg pull up machine. I swear, that thing is the only way I can sleep standing up!

  16. I love naps, but sometimes on an early morning before I go to school, I fall asleep in the shower… When the nice hot water is running down your back…
    You can sleep real good in the shower!

  17. Haha love this! This reminds me of the couple of times I tried to nap in the restaurant I work in, under the computer stand using the napkin cases as pillows

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