#951 Hearing a stranger fart in public

Here we go

[digg=http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Why_hearing_a_stranger_fart_in_public_is_awesome] What’s funnier than hearing a stranger fart in public?

Well sure, it can happen in a bank lineup, hotel lobby, or subway car. It can happen in a restaurant, movie theater, or local bar. But the funniest of all has got to be the Elevator Fart. That’s the king of public farts, for two main reasons:

1. Acoustics. It’s almost always dead silent in an elevator. People usually keep quiet, stare firmly at the front door, and wait for their floor. Any whisper or laugh echos around the box with full force, reverberating loudly for all to hear. So a giant, rippling fart popped out by a bald businessman in a suit holding a briefcase in front of him? That’s like a 21 gun salute.

Blast it out

2. Time. If you’re climbing a highrise, you’re spending maybe a minute or two with these people. It’s you and them, locked together. Hearing a stranger fart on the sidewalk is one thing. Hearing a stranger fart in a tiny, enclosed room is another. Nobody can escape the full experience, from big bang to first whiff to total elevator saturation.

Hearing a stranger fart in public is great partly because of everybody’s reaction. There are really four main types of fart reactions you see:

  • Concealed Laughers. These folks purse their lips tightly, pop open their eyes, and try not to laugh. If they’re with friends then the sight of their friend also trying to hold in their laugh can be too much, and they suddenly explode into a full-blown belly laughs.
  • The Business Class. Folks in suits often try to  pretend that nothing happened. “Nope, everything’s just chipper here, I don’t smell anything at all.” Their only tells might be a very subtle step away from the culprit and a few extra looks at their watch.
  • Deep-Sea Divers. These folks try to hold their breath as long as possible. They hear the fart and it’s “Come on lungs, don’t fail me now.” They’re the ones with the chipmunk cheeks who eventually pop and gasp desperately for air when the door opens.
  • Innocent Children. Little kids are always the funniest. I once heard a child in an elevator say “Mommy, that man just farted” with a full-on finger point right into the well-dressed ass in front of his face. But hey, I guess if you’re going to fart in a kid’s face, you deserve to be called out.

Yes, hearing a stranger fart in public can be a tiny, hilarious moment in the middle of any day. If you’re the farter, I say be loud and be proud! We’ve all been there, so no need to be embarassed. If you’re in the audience, I say enjoy the hilarious social faux-pas and resulting reaction in the room.

So thank you, strangers farting in public, for adding a great bit of comic relief to the middle of our day.

AWESOME!

Be proud of it, just like George

Photos from: here, here, and here

101 thoughts on “#951 Hearing a stranger fart in public

  1. Have you thought of adding some videos to your posts to keep the visitors more entertained? I just read through the entire article and it was quite good…thanks for the share

  2. Ginger, the family dog, was sitting near an air-condition vent and let loose what we called as children a “boom-boom”. My father asked Ginger to leave the room. I had the feeling that the dog realized the reason.

  3. My father’ a pastor, along with the family was invited by the hospital staff for a christmas party in our native place .When he was about to finish the prayer,someone farted loudly.
    No body said,”Amen”.

  4. My husband and I say goodnight to each other with good, loud farts! It is our way for saying how much we love each other. He is away for work and we fart into our phones, make for a quick good bye after that!
    You have to love a good fart…. they can mean so much!!!!

  5. Why do fart stories make us laugh so much?

    I have to share this story…….When I was in my 20s, I was standing in line at a busy fast food restaurant with my mother. We had just been driving for 6 hours, and needed a break. I let what I hoped was a “little one” go, and then the deadly stench followed.

    My mom shot me a look of, “OMG, what died?”

    I looked back to her with a “I dunno..wasn’t me….” look.

    She gave the poor young guy behind us the dirtiest look, and turned back to face the front of the line. We got our order and walked back to our table. My mom asked if I caught a whiff of the stench, I denied it all. It’s been 15 years, and I still haven’t admitted to it.

  6. What’s really hilarious is hear somebody do the old “fart2stepmarch”- you know the one I’m talking about- when every step is rythmically equal to a fart, and you cannot possibly refrain from busting out laughing!!!

  7. When I was in the military, we flew into Greenland for a weekend. It was a real eye opener for me as the runway was made of ice, the landscape was ice… and it was colder than I thought possible. I went to the grocery store (Commissary) and picked up some food to eat that night since there wasn’t much other choice. Apparently the base had a deal worked out with the native Eskimo population in that they can shop there as well. While waiting patiently to check out, I stood behind a real live Eskimo… staring with fascination at something I never thought I’d see… and you guessed it… The son of a bitch let out a monster fart into my basket… I guess that’s how Eskimo’s roll.

  8. I intern at a substance abuse treatment facility…I work with 16 adolescent guys….and boy, can they make some rank smelling farts. Sometimes I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…and they start acting all crazy…then I have to get them in line. You have no idea how difficult that is when they all live in this very small area, and it smells like a teenage guy’s fart. *gag*

  9. One classic scenario left out is the “Almost didn’t make it” Fart…

    This is when you rush into the stall of a public bathroom because it feels like Mt. Etna is about to erupt into your “underoos” and right as soon as you find the lucky recieving stall… BOOM all hell breaks loose and leading off this disaster is one gigantic bellow of a flatulant, followed by a long sigh of relief.

    Innocent bystanders at the urinals listen from a safe distance and cannot help but erupting in laughter, if not out loud, in there head. AWESOME

    1. …and these are all the reasons why I need follow-up comments! Make my days more fun!

  10. I love to go into McDonalds in the morning where there are little old ladies eating breakfast..sit in the wooden booths near them and rip huge farts just to see their reactions… priceless!

  11. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!

  12. Nothing is more awkward than hearing a stranger fart in public, with the possible exception of hearing yourself fart in public. Not that I would know.

  13. You are all forgetting about the relative of the elevator fart… the car with automatic windows fart. As can proudly say that, as revenge to my friends actions earlier in a day, that I locked the windows while on the freeway and let one go. I had to pull off the road not because of the smell or the suffering of my friends, but because I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t see the road. Thanks for the laughs and the memories.

  14. OMG!! i have a story…
    So my mom was walking out of a grocery store with my little brother riding in the cart. I live in Utah County, and when it rains the lakes stinks sometimes. He said,”EWW, who FARTEEDD?!” Trying to restrain him, my mom said, “I think it’s the lake, honey.” In all his wisdom:”Mommy, lakes don’t FART!!” the two people behind them started CRACKING UP…BEST. STORY. EVAR.

  15. Hahaha This just made my day. It just brought me back to the elev. I am definitely one of the concealed laughers and my friend being the second. Best part is when the two of you keeps it in but when you accidentally stared at each other, all laughs break loose!! HAHA =))
    But wait, because of laughing another person might fart again.. who will be numb not to laugh =D

  16. i fart you fart we all fart who cares … I do farts are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. I love stoking up with baked beans, sausages, and french fries, washed down with a good beer. After just a little while, this little lot works wonders and I’m cracking out wonders of sound and smell. To make matters better, I get into a vicous circle of laughing,which makes me fart more, and then I laugh more, and the laughing hurts sooooooo much! Phew! What a delightful smell in the air too! I don’t believe people who say they never fart or pretend they never do. Holding in a fart can be so painful and nuilds up so much that your shit is explosive! A blast from the arse – literally!

  18. Ah yes, farts can be hilarious. However, when you are a young teen and your friends older brother holds you down and farts on your head, it’s not so funny. His terrible farts enveloped me as I gasped for oxygen,pleading for mercy. What’s truly awful is that my own brother would shout encouragement as my eyes rolled back into my poor head. The torture continued until the total fart went away and I was released. Escape was vital and I’d crawl away. Still, farts are free and damn funny.

  19. Dead composed subject material, regards for entropy. “You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.” by Samuel Butler.

  20. I was Christmas shopping at Walmart and felt the urge to fart. I thought it was going to be silent but I ripped a long and Loud one! Two little girls kept laughing and saying “you farted no you farted”! I just kept walking and never looked at them. I think they finally realized it was me but I just walked to the next aisle like nothing happened. I got a good chuckle.

  21. a ltarta thay arf be case it song funny and in bars thay have a farying conteest thr lonnde and smellest wins so let all fartot of guy will say ooo you farted and if you yong and sume one farts thay

  22. I am a massage therapist, like he girl earlier. This time it has to do with me, however, as I am the one who farted during the session. Now, she didn’t have the reaction you would think. She didn’t ignore it. Nor did she make a big deal announcing her disgust. She simply said, “I heard that.” Somehow this was 10 times worse!

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