#943 Using Q-Tips the way you’re not supposed to use them

Neil Pasricha

Yes, I’m talking about rubbing and twisting that cottony Q-Tip tip right on up inside your ear canal. Yeah, get it deep in there, where it doesn’t belong, because it’s like an amazing, satisfying inner-ear massage.

Also, the more dark, waxy, and disgusting the Q-Tip is when you’re done, the more satisfying it is, am I right? Because then on top of the inner-ear massage you get a killer “Whoa, that just came out of me…” high, too. For those keeping track at home, that’s two highs for the price of one. Not a bad deal!

Now, I know what you’re thinking: How could I possibly advocate doing something so terribly dangerous like pushing a hard, pointy object up against your fragile ear drum? I mean, the box itself says right on it “Do not insert swab into ear canal. Entering the ear canal could cause injury.” Plus, the Q-Tips website doesn’t even mention sticking them in your ears. And neither do the pictures on the back of the box! No, all they talk about is how Q-Tips are great for applying makeup, cleaning your camera lens, painting with your kids, and, uh… dog.

Seriously, could someone figure out why the dog’s on there? If you could, that’d be pretty…

informative.

In conclusion, you need to be careful when you’re scraping your ear out. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while you’re at it.

AWESOME!

Why is there a dog on there?

Photo from: here

118 thoughts to “#943 Using Q-Tips the way you’re not supposed to use them”

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  9. When I was a kid I busted my eardrum with one of these in my left ear. Had a hole in it and everything – it was absolute AGONY.

    I still use ’em like ten years later, though. :D

  12. I’m a hearing science major and you’re not supposed to use q-tips because it can make the wax in your ear build up. Try using warm water while in the shower..feels amazing too.
    (I still use qtips even though I know the consequences)

  14. You’re right…nothing feels better, but if you’re serious about getting the guck out of your ears, see someone who does “ear candling”. It really works!

    1. Ear candling??? Far worse than qtips when the wax drips down and burns and destroys entire inner ear~ excruciating:(

  15. Well Bloggers, if you get off on q tips, hot or cold, you should try aromatherapy for an hour and then ear candling. I go to this wonderful masseur and she is licensed for both! Thing is I have to concentrate on the wallpaper all the time! True!
    No naughty stuff! Bye the way she gets a good half an inch of goo out, if you have it done twice a year.

  16. You’re not supposed to put those in your ears? Whoops.
    Anyway. For the dog, I’m pretty sure it’s for getting rid of their tear stains(The goop in their eyes) because that’s what I use to get rid of my dog’s stains.

  17. I have always misused q-tips, and have emerged none the worse for wear. There have been a couple close ccalls, but nothing that required a trip to emerg.

  19. it is awesome. i feel like i have to do it everyday or my ears might look like a forest of earwax

  20. Did you know that the “Q” stands for “quality”? I called the hotline once. AWESOME!

  21. What?! Q-tips aren’t for cleaning the inside of your ears? Ever since I was born till now I thought the existence of q-tips were for cleaning your ear canal.
    Really… this stuff is satisfying to use for the ears.

  22. yes a good q-tip twisting in my ear puts me in a trance-like state of sublime ecstasy, yes it does.

  23. THANK YOU! I was going to submit this, but there it was!! I love using Q-tips right after I get out of the shower, feels awesome! And maybe they have a dog on there because it is ok to use the Q-tips on the dog’s ears??

  24. If they aren’t meant to be put in our ears, then why in the world are they made in such a way that they are perfect for it? One end for each ear. And if your really gunky, then one Q-tip per ear.

  26. I was wondering if i would come across this one!. I have allergies and they make the inside of my ears itchy and it feels sooooo got to whip out the ol’ q-tip. I secretly always called them “eargasims”(hehehe hopefully I didn’t offend anyone :P).

  27. When I was in secondary school, my rep was to be able to out-gross anybody, however; I let one person know I was seriously grossed out myself by earwax…who of course let 2 people know, who let the whole nation know and by the end of school term, I was gifted with a zip-lock baggy full of far too many revolting-dirty-dirty, orangey-brown, (OMGLAGLIA), teenaged eargasm covered qtips!

    As an “grown-up”, I do agree, this ranks right up there with the best long booger you finally retrieve that feels as if it was horsing around in your throat…nose picking post!

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  30. When my son was a little tot, he called q-tips: “eewee-tips”… A combo of the word “ear”, or “eewee” and “tips”, for “q-tips”. He’s 23 now and I still call them that.

  32. I don’t know why, but yes; using a Q-tip in my ear is better than getting oral. My eyes just roll into the back of my head.

  33. Nothing better than an eargasm! I love to clean my ears a few times a day, I also play loud music from my phone into my ears direct from the little speaker, that causes a major eargasm!!! Uhhh I love it!!!

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  36. My cousin tried to use it “the way your not supposed too”. He ended up having to keep a cotton ball in his ear for about a year.

  37. Wanna share my weakness with my ears and qtips, but first let me state that I learned the hard way about sticking them in my ears and getting two infections at once as the result after working a job that required earplugs for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week… that was not fun.

    But my weakness: lightly coat the qtip cotton in a menthol rub like vicks, just a light coat, no gobs. then “clean” your outer ear canal. The tingling sensation is amazing and SO relaxing, and later your ears are nice and smooth, soft, healthy feeling skin where your fingers can touch, and any wax residue that was there has come off. It gives you that clean feeling without going too far into your ear canals.

    My doctor approved after my inquiring if this was safe. She even started doing it. :)

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