#883 Ugly actors

Neil Pasricha

Props to ugly actors.

These wrinkly, crinkly stars of the screen made it up through a system that values looks and beauty and they did it on raw talent alone. Yes, ugly actors shine bright as a beacon of hope to any of us with bushy eyebrows, gap teeth, or big, crooked noses. They show us the power of doing what you love, even if the system says you don’t qualify. So let’s recognize some of the best of the best:

In his defense, no one's armpits look that great

#12 John C. Reilly. It’s refreshing is to see that belly pudge and ungroomed armpit hair. You keep your tabloid cover shots of David Beckham running shirtless on the beach with a perfect six-pack. We’ll keep John C. Reilly and his silent approval of our sagging man-boobs and copious love handles.

A face only Hermione could love#11 Rupert Grint aka Ron Weasley. Rupert makes us all feel a bit better about that awkward elementary school picture in the back of the closet.

Morpheus without the cape and guns#10 Laurence Fishburne. If you’re like me, and you’re stuck with gap teeth because you never got braces, then you look up to Laurence Fishburne. Because who says you have to have perfect teeth, anyway?

Possibly Mr. Perfect's mother#9 Rhea Perlman. Kudos to Rhea Perlman for bringing bad hair days out of the closet. Next time you feel ugly because your hair gets frizzy, you’re hit with some rain hair, or it’s dandruff season and you’re calling for snow, just remember that Rhea Perlman had a bad hair decade. So you’ll be fine.

Benecio, you make us feel normal

#8 Benecio Del Toro. When you wake up sore and groggy at noon on a Saturday with a splitting hangover and big, black bags under your eyes, just look in the mirror and say “This face could win an Academy Award.” Thanks, Benecio.

A face only Rhea Perlman could love

#7 Danny Devito. How many people shave their entire head the moment they start going bald? It’s like they’re saying “What? Who’s going bald? Not me, I’m just suddenly into shaving my head every day, that’s all.” It’s so common that Danny Devito deserves a big high ten for embracing the chrome dome. Also, he is short.

The Beast with a goatee#6 Ron Perlman. Getting cast as Hellboy and The Beast in Beauty and the Beast is a bit of a mixed blessing. On one hand, hey, great gigs. But on the other hand, you’re playing a beast and a giant, red superhero. It’s only slightly worse than playing The Phantom of The Opera, Ugly Betty, Charlize Theron in Monster, or Darth Vader when he takes off his mask. So kudos to Ron for taking on some brave roles. You teach us courage.

Momma#5 Anne Ramsey. Guess there was a reason they threw this momma from the train.

No comment#4 Paris Hilton. Next time you fall asleep in the tanning bed, or take a little nap with your head in a sinkful of Clorox, just relax. Don’t even worry about it. It’s not a big deal.

Bed head at its finest#3 Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Ever grow one of those nasty, shaggy, out of control beards? The kind that gets soup all over it when you’re eating and scratches your girlfriend’s chin when you kiss? The kind that gets you kicked out of convenience stores and frisked a little extra at airport security? Well, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is proof that it is possible to have one of those beards and still be successful. Good on him.

Smile like you mean it#2 Steve Buscemi. What a great, great, great, great actor.

#1 Christopher Walken. The greatest thing about Christopher Walken is that he doesn’t try to gloss things up, No, he just lets the skunk-hawk fly up top and makes no attempt to apologize for wrinkles or spots. We can learn a lot from him.

chris-walkenSeriously though, ugly actors make this world a great place. They remind us that dreaming big can pay off and there is some justice in the world, no matter what you look like. Because let’s face it: most of us are a bit insecure about our bodies. It’s normal to pinch your belly fat, cover up your acne scars, and pluck your unibrow. But ugly actors say “Hey … it’s okay, friend”, because at the end of the day we’re pretty much the same and it doesn’t really matter what you look like.

And for that they are truly

AWESOME!

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Photos from: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here

Illustration from: here

176 thoughts to “#883 Ugly actors”

  2. Paris Hilton is fake and that is ugly. And there is no talent involved with her… Her fame was “bought”. Fake Fake Fake.

  4. Yeah, Sarah Jessica Parker should be added to this list.

    And yay! Thanks for including Paris Hilton.

  5. Good list however the ugliest of all has to be Ernest Borgnine – now that’s uuuuuuuugggggggly!

  9. Benicio del toro is not ugly, i resent that. he is gorgeous. in an edgy, not overly pretty way. since when do all men have to look prim & proper? come on he looks abit like brad pitt. how is that ugly? But i personally find him sexier than brad pitt.

  13. Glad to see Paris Hilton on here because I don’t understand the fascination with her, but she’s not an “actor”. Amateur porn does not an actor make ;)

  14. I COMPLETELY disagree with #11 (ahem Rupert Grint!)
    He’s one of the hottest actors I dare say :) mmm yummy

  15. Walken certainly was not ugly when he was younger.

    Where’s Gene Hackman? Stephen Tobolowsky?

  16. Christopher Walken?!?!?!?! That is one damn attractive man. He could use a little something though…perhaps some more cowbell?

  17. Um. I’m a 17 year old teenage girl, and I’ve gotta say that Rupert Grint is HOT. I don’t know what he is doing on this list, my friends and I all have massive crushes on him.

  18. Seriously. Rupert Grint is sexy. Back off. Hes so delicious… are you guys crazy?

  20. I have to say after having a pretty crap past couple of days with not much to smile about this list made me chuckle,,,although not saying i agree with them all a few could be added but for humour rating 10/10

  23. I would have to agree that Mickey Rourke could be added to this list – his face actually scares me a little. Although it looks bad from plastic surgery gone wrong, not just natural ugliness.
    And most of the people of this list are damn good actors (definitely excluding Paris Hilton, she’s only been able to act because of her family/money).

  25. Heather: I was just going to post the same thing. Original list has only 2 women, only 2 others have been suggested by commenters. This is something that drives me insane about our culture–it’s INCREDIBLY difficult for a woman to achieve critical acclaim in any entertainment or media-based field unless she’s attractive. I defy you to find a comedienne or actress who is as decidedly homely as Bill Murray and makes anywhere near as much money or has as much critical success. Even for broadcast reporters and news anchors–a plain or especially an ‘ugly’ woman has to be a *much* more impressive reporter and speaker to get a job than an attractive woman, or than a similarly plain or ugly man. Same with musicians. It makes me absolutely insane.

    Also note that the standard of dress for men is much easier to pull off with any sort of body type–it’s generally accepted that a man can simply put on a well-made suit and he’ll look much more attractive and sophisticated, even if he’s aging or very overweight. Women who are older or overweight, however, are generally ridiculed simply because the type of clothing that flatters a larger or an older female body is never the type of clothing that is considered attractive.

    So for men… sure, it’s awesome that they can dream about being super-successful and famous even though they’re ugly. Not so awesome that women still really can’t.

  26. I’m also going to complain about Rupert Grint being on the list, but I guess it’s different strokes for different folks. A lot of female fans of the Harry Potter movies think Rupert is attractive, and I think he is probably the most attractive of the male cast.

  27. yup i agree with you all. rupert should be taken off. his sense of humor is hilarious as well in the movies. if anyone from the harry potter films should be on the list, it should be daniel radcliffe. but still…the others are pretty dead on!

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  34. Rupert was an uuuuuugly little kid. Like, in the first and second harry potter. But lately…. Well, he’s gotten to be pretty cute. And that picture of him is actually one that makes him look pretty good. Lol. So yeah, I agree/disagree. Put a pic of him when he was that awkward ratty eyed lil kid up and, yep, ugleh! But right there? *drool* lol.

  36. you know, most of the things on this website are actually quite awesome. classifying people as ugly? … not so awesome.

    1. also, just the comments on this post show that beauty (or lack thereof) is just a matter of opinion.

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  38. How can any list of classy, prodigious, so called ‘ugly actors’ not include a very cool Michael Berryman?

  39. I happen to think Rupert Grint is very attractive. The lifesize cardboard cut-out standing ten feet from me proves it!!

  41. These folks just don’t fit the Sears-catalogue cookie-cut-out mold – that don’t mean they are unattractive and as many have noted, even wicked sexy.

    I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks Paris Hilton is really, really funny-looking.

  43. Rupert Grint is cute….

    Paris Hilton looks like a bird (no offence to the birds – i usually like birds),

    and Sarah Jessica Parker should be added to the list..

  49. I’ll bet you anything that Neil is just sitting back and laughing. There’s a lot of so-and-so isn’t ugly! comments. (Particularly, Rupert). ;)

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