#883 Ugly actors

Neil Pasricha

Props to ugly actors.

These wrinkly, crinkly stars of the screen made it up through a system that values looks and beauty and they did it on raw talent alone. Yes, ugly actors shine bright as a beacon of hope to any of us with bushy eyebrows, gap teeth, or big, crooked noses. They show us the power of doing what you love, even if the system says you don’t qualify. So let’s recognize some of the best of the best:

In his defense, no one's armpits look that great

#12 John C. Reilly. It’s refreshing is to see that belly pudge and ungroomed armpit hair. You keep your tabloid cover shots of David Beckham running shirtless on the beach with a perfect six-pack. We’ll keep John C. Reilly and his silent approval of our sagging man-boobs and copious love handles.

A face only Hermione could love#11 Rupert Grint aka Ron Weasley. Rupert makes us all feel a bit better about that awkward elementary school picture in the back of the closet.

Morpheus without the cape and guns#10 Laurence Fishburne. If you’re like me, and you’re stuck with gap teeth because you never got braces, then you look up to Laurence Fishburne. Because who says you have to have perfect teeth, anyway?

Possibly Mr. Perfect's mother#9 Rhea Perlman. Kudos to Rhea Perlman for bringing bad hair days out of the closet. Next time you feel ugly because your hair gets frizzy, you’re hit with some rain hair, or it’s dandruff season and you’re calling for snow, just remember that Rhea Perlman had a bad hair decade. So you’ll be fine.

Benecio, you make us feel normal

#8 Benecio Del Toro. When you wake up sore and groggy at noon on a Saturday with a splitting hangover and big, black bags under your eyes, just look in the mirror and say “This face could win an Academy Award.” Thanks, Benecio.

A face only Rhea Perlman could love

#7 Danny Devito. How many people shave their entire head the moment they start going bald? It’s like they’re saying “What? Who’s going bald? Not me, I’m just suddenly into shaving my head every day, that’s all.” It’s so common that Danny Devito deserves a big high ten for embracing the chrome dome. Also, he is short.

The Beast with a goatee#6 Ron Perlman. Getting cast as Hellboy and The Beast in Beauty and the Beast is a bit of a mixed blessing. On one hand, hey, great gigs. But on the other hand, you’re playing a beast and a giant, red superhero. It’s only slightly worse than playing The Phantom of The Opera, Ugly Betty, Charlize Theron in Monster, or Darth Vader when he takes off his mask. So kudos to Ron for taking on some brave roles. You teach us courage.

Momma#5 Anne Ramsey. Guess there was a reason they threw this momma from the train.

No comment#4 Paris Hilton. Next time you fall asleep in the tanning bed, or take a little nap with your head in a sinkful of Clorox, just relax. Don’t even worry about it. It’s not a big deal.

Bed head at its finest#3 Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Ever grow one of those nasty, shaggy, out of control beards? The kind that gets soup all over it when you’re eating and scratches your girlfriend’s chin when you kiss? The kind that gets you kicked out of convenience stores and frisked a little extra at airport security? Well, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is proof that it is possible to have one of those beards and still be successful. Good on him.

Smile like you mean it#2 Steve Buscemi. What a great, great, great, great actor.

#1 Christopher Walken. The greatest thing about Christopher Walken is that he doesn’t try to gloss things up, No, he just lets the skunk-hawk fly up top and makes no attempt to apologize for wrinkles or spots. We can learn a lot from him.

chris-walkenSeriously though, ugly actors make this world a great place. They remind us that dreaming big can pay off and there is some justice in the world, no matter what you look like. Because let’s face it: most of us are a bit insecure about our bodies. It’s normal to pinch your belly fat, cover up your acne scars, and pluck your unibrow. But ugly actors say “Hey … it’s okay, friend”, because at the end of the day we’re pretty much the same and it doesn’t really matter what you look like.

And for that they are truly

AWESOME!

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Photos from: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here

Illustration from: here

176 thoughts to “#883 Ugly actors”

  1. OH COME ON!!! rupert grint is totally so cute
    he has that awkward look in him but its cute!
    you could never say he was an ugly actor
    plus he is the perfect person for ron! anyone else would have been horrible

    i would marry him if i could

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  5. Most of these people are fantastic actors. And Rupert Grint isn’t remotely ugly, quite the opposite. i like the list, but rupert grint isn’t ugly. He’s actually kinda cute.

  6. I don’t think Rupert Grint is ugly, he’s kinda cute actually. except in that photo he looks a little scary. anyway, fun list :)

  9. OK,
    Rupert Grint is adorable.
    Paris Hilton isn’t ugly. Everyone just wants to think she is now ’cause everyone used to like her and she’s a slut so that’s ‘indie’, or something. Whatever. Hipsters gonna hipst.
    Steve Buscemi and Christopher Walken aren’t good looking, but they aren’t ugly either. They’re just, ah, “average” for middle-aged men, I guess.

  10. I LOVED Anne Ramsey in throw Mamma from the train! She was also in Goonies (?sp). Whenever someone says Owen I think of her. LOL.

  12. Why is Rupert on this list? D:

    Replace him with Robert Pattinson. That sparkly vampire (fairy?) resembles a foot.

  14. This was mean-spirited and was just not awesome. Can’t you find things to feel good about without being mean to other people? I’m really disappointed.

  16. how dare u im plotting ur demise as im typing this rupert grint is the actor ever and i h8 u for saying otherwise i cant belive this how colud u im his biggest fan in the world and i think im gonna brake my keyboard arghhhhhhhhhh

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  20. Should add Tori Spelling, Rosie O’Donnell, Bono, Sandra Oh No, Jamie Lee Curtis, Oprah, Sarah Jessica Parker, all of the Osbournes, Bethenny Frankel and the ‘Countess’ (both look like men).

    Paris Hilton may look fake, but she is cute.

  22. Pretty amusing that the entire point of the Book of Awesome and this website is to give you a smile, give you a laugh, and inject a little optimism into your day but people just use it as another excuse to rant and complain on this great world wide web of ours.
    Chillax, fellow human beings, these ugly celebrities don’t need your achy-breaky heart defense; their piles of cash keep them warm at night <3
    C'est la vie

  25. Rupert is NOT ugly. He’s gorgeous. He should definitely be taken off this list.
    Plus if they’re good actors who cares if they’re ugly? you should look at their skills, not their looks.

  26. Love you, Neil, but I gotta disagree with Rupert being ugly. I kind of have a crush on him :3

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  28. Nick Nolte, Mickey Rourke, and a few others really need to be in this list as well.

  29. I loved the famous people that were chosen. Even though I don´t agree that Rupert Grint is an ugly actor.
    But the others shine for sure as a light of rope for us.
    For those who think the aesthetical simitry makes the people famous, they prove that this theory is wrong.
    Love the blog. Emma.

  30. My buddy suggested I would such as this blog. He was entirely right. This post actually made my day. You are unable to imagine the amount time I had created spent for this information! Thanks!

  34. Yeah, mostly Christian actors… Jewish actors are 10 times uglier than Christian actors here’s 10 ugly Jewish actors right here. Sandra Bernhard, Jack Black, Maggie Gylenhall, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Seth Green, Jessie Eisenberg, Jeff Goldblum, Judd Hirsch and Martin Landau. Plus many, many more. And don’t say I’m anti-Semitic, Because you’re very anti-Christian!

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  38. OUCH. I wonder how any of those actors would react if they found 1000awesomethings….

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  44. Wanna bet Paris Hilton is hotter than you, you jealous whore. Why is she even on this list.

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