#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away

Neil Pasricha

There are so many different levels to this classic gag.

There’s Version 1.0 which involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and the slow rolling drive away while the victim knocks on the window and pretends not to care. This version is Locking People Out Of The Car And Pretending To Drive Away Lite, a tame version of the gag intended to induce a few giggles without any tense moments. Just some G-rated comic relief for the long drive home. Version 1.0 is the most commonly practiced version out there and is the officially sponsored and recommended version by 1000 Awesome Things.

Trouble

Next up is a version that’s a bit more advanced than Version 1.0 but not quite at the level of Version 2.0. We’ll call it Version 1.5, also known as The Big Tease. The Big Tease works as long as the victim leaves their car door open. That open door is critical to pull it off. To execute, the driver simply waits until the victim is approaching the car and then drives away slowly with the door hanging wide open like a big tease. The Big Tease works fine on small or large cars, but is especially effective in vans with sliding doors. You’ve got that big van door just sitting there wide open and the victim may figure it’s worth running and jumping for it. There’s really no telling what could happen in this situation. Just remember to be safe out there.

Next comes Version 2.0 which involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and a complete drive away, lap of the gas station, and return after a minute or two. Big difference here is that Version 2.0 dials up the fear notch a little, instills a tiny bit of bootshake in our helpless victim. When the car comes back some name-calling goes down, but nothing too serious. Still — this one’s not recommended for children twelve and under. Let’s call it Rated T for Teen.

And then finally there’s the grandaddy of them all, the one and only Version 3.0. A real cooker, Version 3.0 involves a car full of people, a gas station bathroom break, the locked door, and a full-out drive away into the sunset, without any eventual return. The victim is left curbside, casually spooning up a McFlurry as they walk around for a couple minutes, expecting the car to come sweeping around the corner any second. But no… the car never comes back. Unless practiced in walking distance of the victim’s house, Version 3.0 can be devastating. And it’s rarely executed and not recommended for obvious reasons: its potential to destroy relationships…to destroy relationships…forever.

AWESOME!

— The Awesome Email of the Week —

“I’m sure you’re getting millions of emails exactly like this one, but this 17 year old girl from Australia just wanted to let you know that you have touched my soul. I’m the sort of person who worries too much, overanalyses, tries so hard to make everyone happy that sometimes I forget about making myself happy. But when my dad told me about your blog, I looked at it and it was just perfect. It captured the sentiment of how lucky we really are in this world of broccoflowers and last days of school, how lucky those of us who live with enough food and water and shelter are. And it captured this somewhat tired and cliche sentiment in a way that was beautiful, and real. 1000 Awesome Things slowly grew into something I clicked every weekday, gave me some little things to concentrate on when life was not so sweet. And I think it’s a real danger for many of us to grow so complacent in what we have, to be set in our old ways not because we like them, but because we’re too scared or lazy to change them, or to feel as if we are trapped in our own mundane existence – as if our lives don’t mean anything. But all these small little things mean something, and they mean something slightly different to each person who reads them. And the memories, associations, the knowledge that you have lived a life, and your life is something that nobody else could have, means that you mean something. We are not trapped by the everyday-ness of our lives, but set free in the beauty we find within it…”
– Lucy
For submitting The Awesome Email of the Week Lucy receives some signed awesome surprises in the mail. Submit your own story and photograph to 1000awesomethings@gmail.com

Photos from: here, here, and here

14 thoughts to “#997 Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away”

  1. I’ve had to pull off some spectacular jumps into the open door of a car. I’ve also had to leap into the back of a truck bed before. Those were fun times.

  2. I was planning on posting a comment about a version 4.0 that involved someone trying to ghost ride the whip and having their car drive away without them or any of their passengers.. and then I was going to post a youtube video of someone doing just that.. (of which there are plenty)..

    But then I started to weep for the kids of this generation that somehow thought doing this was a good idea. *shakes head*

    Lucy, on the other hand seems totally awesome! However, Lucy – you should get your book checked out.. it might be a fake.. it looks totally different than mine! ;)

  3. Lucy, you awesome fellow Aussie, you, that was an awesome email. I hope you enjoy your “awesome surprises” — you’ll have to leave a comment to tell me what they are, because I am painfully curious! :D

  4. I don’t think any of these have ever happened to me. Hubby like to lock the doors to the car before I can get in and then its a game to see if I can open the door in the split second that he unlocks it before he locks it back. Of course he doesn’t think its funny if I do it to him…
    I have done this recently to my daughter. Yes she’s only 7, but we were just a little ways away from my moms house. I let her out of the car to pick some flowers and was trying to play a trick on her, but she didn’t care. After I attempted to scare her by starting to drive away, she told me to go ahead because she wanted to walk the rest of the way.

  5. While I can see the humor, I’m not very fond of this for several of my own frame of reference reasons- the dangers especially, I suppose…so I just have to say, if you’re going to play, play it safe, okay:)

    Lucy, you have an AWESOME Dad! (#65).
    Your words have touched my heart and soul. I’ll take them everywere I go. Thank you for being a wise young woman, Lucy!
    Thank you for sharing this Neil. The timing impeccable:)

  6. If you’ve got a van with sliding doors, you could start with a 1.5, but to throw in a bit of a twist just slam on the brakes so the door slides shut on its own, and THEN drive away. Those sliding doors are awesome in themselves!

    ps.. started following the first round of 1000 Awesome Things about a year in and truly looked forward to my awesome-a-day for those last few years. I’m so glad to be here for round 2!

  7. Or there’s the version of a church youth group where they stop at the gas station, do a potty stop and leave. Only 30 minutes later after they see a pair of shoes does the someone out of all the people in the car realize that my brother isn’t there and is left standing, shoeless, at the gas station.

  8. I want to try doing this some time. It looks quite fun. I hope that Lucy enjoys her signed awesome surprises, whatever they are.

  9. I had version 2.0 done to me when I was driving back on a road trip with a bunch of friends and my now-wife. Me with my drink, them gone, me lie down on the road, them pull up and throw a drink on me through the window, me take off shirt and jump on the car, them switch to version 1.5.
    Ahh, crazy trip that was, complete with first kisses and crazy conversations, what a blast!

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  12. That awesome email was really AWESOME! I love that last line…. “We are not trapped by the everyday-ness of our lives, but set free in the beauty we find within it.”

    Boom. We. Are. Empowered.

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