#958 Being the first person into a really crowded movie theater and getting the prime seats

Neil Pasricha

Where it all goes down

When it comes to where to sit in a movie theater, everybody has their favorite spot:

• The back row crowd. We all know these people because most of us have been these people. With nobody behind you, the back row becomes a prime make out spot, perfect place to sneak sips from your secret flask, or just somewhere to place your incredibly tall and lanky body without blocking anyone’s view. Thanks for that, by the way.

• Middle of the packers. These folks go for some of the most popular seats — the middles all the way. They like the middle seats in the middle row, about midway back. They might go on about how the sound is better from straight ahead or how they get a headache from too close, but really, I think they just like being in the thick of things. And who can blame them?

• Side guys, that’s who. Yes, the folks who enjoy sitting in the thin side sections of the movie theater are a rare breed…but they’re out there! Maybe they have peapod-sized bladders or nervous and fidgety children in tow and need access to quick getaway lane. Or perhaps they just want some thinking space and don’t like fighting for armrests. Whatever their reason, I think I can safely say that most of us are glad they exist, because they really help our odds at getting the other seats.

La-Z-Maneuver

• La-Z-Boys-N-Girls. These are the people who like to put their feet up on the seat in front of them. “I came here to relax,” they seem to say to themselves. “So I’m going to relax.” They have no problem taking up a seat in front of them with their dirty sneakers or corn-covered heels. Brave souls may even try to pull off the X-Treme La-Z-Maneuver which involves very slowly and softly putting your feet on the chair in front of you, despite someone already sitting in it. It also involves pissing someone off, generally. So basically, these folks like their feet up, and they’ll even take a corner seat that nobody wants to pull it off.

• Front Row Crazies. You know, I used to think people who sat in the front section just had incredibly poor judgment…and incredibly good chiropractor coverage! Hey-ohhhhh! But seriously, craning their necks sky high, rolling their heads left to right the whole time… what were they thinking? But then I realized that some of these people are just my friend Mike, who always realizes at the last minute that he forgot his glasses and forces us to sit near the front row just so he can see the screen.

So sure, everybody has their favorite seat. The problem is just that we don’t always get them.

Beautiful in blue

Some people buy tickets online and line up really early, so when we get to the theater they’re already there, waiting near the garbage can, smacking their gum, reading their free movie magazine. No, we’re not going to beat those folks unless we want to play their game. And their game is generally pretty long and tedious.

Other times people just run in and seem to know a back route or something. You think you’re going to get a good seat, but then suddenly there are two ladies sitting there out of nowhere, stretching out their sweaters and purses across a long row to save seats for all their friends. They’re like nervous hens, eying you cautiously like you might just grab an egg and take off. They get right into it, too. I’ve seen a stretchy wool sweater cover four seats. That’s some serious wingspan.

So in conclusion, it’s pretty tough to get that perfect seat these days. The crowds are big, the crowds are feisty, and the prime plushes ain’t easy to come by. But then… isn’t that what makes it so special when you do really nail it? When you skip up those stairs, eye your prize, toss your windbreaker out in front of you, and grab your perfect little bank of seats before the big show? I think you’ll agree that getting those perfect movie seats is like melted joy and sizzling happiness served on the big pizza of heaven.

So I say when you finally score your prime time #1 Certified Best Seats For You, then just sit down, nod slowly, catch your breath, look at your friend and open your eyes real wide and let a big, toothy grin just hang from your face.

Because you won this game, my friend. You came, you sat, and you won.

And yes, tonight… you’re the feature attraction.

AWESOME!

May require binoculars

Photos from: here, here, here, and here

21 thoughts to “#958 Being the first person into a really crowded movie theater and getting the prime seats”

  1. It’s amazing how much thought goes into movie-seatage.

    I used to be a Front-Row Crazy, when I was a kid with a strong back and flexable neck. Now, if I’m ever silly enough to sit there, my old bones rally in protest.

    I am one of those rare Side Guys if I can tell the cinema is going to be packed. I like to be away from the annoying people…

    But usually I’m a La-Z-Girl/Middle Packer. In our local cinema, there’s a middle row that has a pathway behind it, so no-one can sit behind you; or, if you prefer, you can sit in the row just in front of this, which has a wooden bar in front of half the seats, so no-one can sit in front of you!

    God help me if I arrive late to a movie…

    1. WOW! I’d be down for Middle Packer at your theater everytime! Those are some choice sets! :)

    2. Since movies are LIFE, this is on my list of top 10 life moments! Our local theater is similar to yours, lovethebadguy: there’s an aisle through the middle-ish section of the theater and a metal railing in front of the seats, so if you get that very special row, you can sit with your feet up without disturbing anyone. My friends and I are always thrilled when we get this row. We took up almost the entire row during Bridesmaids…FUN! The best? Last year I went to the final showing of Hugo on a weeknight and was the only one in the theater…booyah! I could talk out loud to the screen, laugh loudly, snort, you name it! Movie=Perfection! Cinema experience=AWESOME! ~Kathy~

      1. I came here to comment the same thing. I am a middle-of-the-pack/lazy-girl combo that actively chooses to drive a little further for my bigger theater with the railing in the middle to put my feet up on! Alternatively, another theater in my area was renovated and straight up put lazy boy recliners as the seats. IT IS AMAZING. But since the seats are these big recliners, you have to get there early to get a spot where you want with your friends!

        AWESOME.

        1. Lazy Boy Recliners?! OK, that’s it, I have to visit this place! Sounds like someone shares my insane love of movies + comfort seating! :)

  3. As a glasses-wearer since 1961, I’m trying to figure out how someone can discover “at the last minute” that they forgot to wear their glasses! Trust me, if you “forget,” your vision can’t be all that bad! LOL! If I “accidentally forgot” I wouldn’t be able to get out of my own yard, much less get to the movie theater. I find this incredibly funny!

    1. I suppose I could kinda fit into that category. I am near-sighted, but I don’t wear my glasses unless I have to. I wear them in the cinema because, heck, I paid a lot of money here, I want to see this film as clearly as possible. So if I did forget them, it’d be a bit of a bugger…

      …Not enough to drive me to the front row, though. That’s just cRaZy.

  4. I end up being a Front-Row Crazy only when I arrive really late and aren’t any more seats. The extreme front rows are usually the last ones to be taken. Normally I’m a strange hybrid cross between a Front-Row Crazy and a Middle of the Packer. Kinda close, but not too close.

  5. I hate being late to a movie. I want to get there early enough to be one of the first ones in there. I like the middle but slightly off to one side and my feet propped up on the chair in front of me. I stay away from the back row since thats where the loud kids tend to go.

  6. We like to get the row that is behind the front front seats but also had an aisle and a railing in front of it so that we can put our feet up on the rail. Then we sit right in the middle.

    When the last Harry Potter movie came out, my daughters and I snagged these seats. There were people sitting on either end with a seat between us and them on either side plus another empty seat, so 3 empty seats, all separate. Someone came in when the previews were just about done and asked us if we would move down so they could seat three together. And I said no. We had already been sitting there a while and had gotten comfortable and we had come early to get those middle seats. Normally, I would not mind, but it just seemed like if they wanted to get really good seats together, they should have gotten there early like we did. I felt evilly triumphant and justified and horribly selfish at the same time.

  7. Huh, I can’t imagine how people could turn up late for a movie- but, but, but, you don’t get the right seats and it could have started already! Just can’t grasp it…. anywho, I’m not any particular type of seat-goer, just anything not down the front. And you’re not even allowed to put your feet up on the chairs lol but I guess some strayers still do! I like the back or the middle, anywhere around there is good with me. But I never don’t get good seats normally because if it’s a brand new popular movie, there’s always going to be a big queue so you get there at LEAST a half hour early and wait in line with lots of others, or it’s been out for a while so there’s not many people.
    Once my two friends and I went to Coles before the movie and bought Pringles and non-alcoholic white wine and Ella tried some but didn’t like it so me and Hannah were drinking it from the bottle between us on the back row in the corner. I felt extremely rebellious and awesome >:D

        1. Oh that makes everything So much better!!!
          You’re fast falling off your innocent-school-choir-girl-sweet-sixteen totem pole;)

  9. Over here in Asia, when you get a movie ticket there’s assigned seating, so you can choose what you want very easily without having to worry about charging in. But it does suck if you buy tickets late and end up being separated from friends.

Comments are closed.