There’s something about getting in touch with your inner neanderthal that strokes your brain stem just the right way. Accomplishing something caveman-style feels good — a combination of clenched teeth, throbbing veins, and good old fashioned feistiness that we don’t always get to experience in today’s sophisticated society.
Now, although there are a lot of things that can deliver a good cavehigh, here are some of the better ones:
•Building a fire. Yes, there’s some serious satisfaction to be had from collecting a pile of twigs and logs and sending them up in smoke. You’re in the forest on your hands and knees, coaxing life-giving heat and energy out of dry, dead wood. For the full effect, leave the lighter fluid and old, crumpled copies of Newsweek at home.
•Eating a meal that is just meat. Have you ever been that person at the buffet who loads their whole plate up with just meat? You know, slab of bloody steak, couple of pork chops, maybe some ribs on the side? Sure, you see that potato salad, you see those steamed baby carrots, but you just can’t justify eating anything other than meat. And you know, that’s okay. Your inner caveman thanks you. BONUS: Filling your plate with meats that are entirely on the bone, so you can just eat with your hands and messily spray fatty meatbits everywhere. SUPER BONUS: Eating those big honkin’ turkey drumsticks that look like pterodactyl wings.
•Ignoring body hair for a really long time. Your chin fuzz grows out and connects with your unkempt mutton chops, your hair gets long and scraggly, and you suddenly start getting Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Back. Basically, when you start looking like Johnny Damon when he was on the Red Sox, you’re living the cave man look … and you’re loving it.
•Throwing a temper tantrum much more aggressively than normal. If you’re the kind of classy gal who usually politely bee-beeps the horn when someone cuts you off, but then one time you hold it down for ten seconds, flip the bird, and scream out your window, then that’s the one. That’s your Beautiful Caveman Moment.
So I say love it. Love those caveman days, because they’re a throwback to the simple life — when instead of eating processed cheese and watching reality TV we were clubbing saber-toothed tigers and painting caves, baby.
AWESOME!
Photos from: here, here, here, and here
Illustration from here
Yup, I definitely have the, “I have made FIRE. RRWWAAAARR!” moment during winter. I am sophisticated, after all.
Particularly like idea of wearing furs. Drinkin out of the crick from my hand is a favorite of mine! Sleeping by the fire. Definitely a meat fan!!!
I’m such a girl. I couldn’t identify with any of those except the last one. Neil, thank you for including us in a caveman category instead of just calling us bit*#es! I must say I do love a good campfire – just don’t expect me to start it. I do not posses the adequate skills.
And how he calls it “your beautiful caveman moment”
Not very often do I lose it like that. It is mostly in traffic. Why get in the wrong lane on purpose just so you can bypass one car to cut them off and almost cause a wreck?! I am the one to blow the horn if I am cut off and I don’t let up until they are no longer in front of me.
I’m pretty good at starting a fire. I wouldn’t say that I’ve reached pro status just yet, but I’m pretty darn close.
Meal of just meat, yes… I’ve done this also. Kinda doesn’t agree with my belly either. I’ve even had a meal of nothing but seafood…once..and never again.
Me, too, on the fire-building thing. Whenever I’m camping and saw wood for the fire, I like to do a whole caveman stance where I stand with my arms flexed to show my neanderthal muscles and look fierce! I love building a fire ’cause the scent of a campfire is the bestest in the world!
In my Anthropology class we’re learning about ancient humans and cavemen and stuff. I really, really want to build a fire. That would just be so cool. I always feel cavemany whenever I eat ribs or wings, or any other meat finger-food. Watching a video about cavemen in Anthropology today made me have a craving to do caveman stuff. Especially building a fire.
i just loved the last point and do it often..:P its cool….:)
I have nothing more to say but the post is written informatively and helpful.
Always reminds me of Brendan Fraser, “Encino man.” To find him in my backyard, I’d look, sound and definitely go all out Cavewoman!
In the wilderness where NOT threatened by crazy-rageful cavemen, last point taken is very much, Stephen Aung, medical qi-gong~ Healthy!!!
p.s. I build an awesome fire:)
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