#794 People you don’t clean up for when they visit

Neil Pasricha

Bless this mess

Toilet bowl stains are a fact of life.

Big billowy dustballs are going to pool under the couch, crumbs will form communities on your kitchen counter, flyers and junk mail will pile by the door and, let’s just face it, once in a while your place will just stink.

But hey, it’s not you, it’s us.

We’re big, bulky animals who’ve been living in the world’s caves and jungles for a few hundred thousand years, and just recently we’ve tried moving into a prim and proper world of freshly waxed floors and central air conditioning. We fart, burp, and spread dirt across the floor. We sweat, shed skin, and shower dandruff all over the place. Sure, we wear pants, read the newspaper, and brush our teeth, but beneath it all we’re still just hairy animals who scratch ourselves a lot.

Of course, when guests come visit, most of us try to distance ourselves from our roots.

We perform the Doorbell Dash and run a Swiffer over the floor, light a candle, and wipe down the bathroom. We trade bad breath for mouthwash and sweatpants for fresh pants. We ditch our cave-selves and freshen up our place for company. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with all that.

But how good does it feel when you just, you know, don’t? How good is it when friends visit and you don’t lift a finger? I say when your visitors don’t command a freshly-scrubbed toilet, they are your Cave Brothers and Sisters. They know you for what you are and they don’t judge you, because they have hairballs on their bathroom floors and piles of dirty shoes at their front doors, and they think that’s perfectly fine.

These are your closest family and your closest friends. People, if you visit somebody’s place and they don’t clean up for you, consider yourself lucky. It means you’ve got some great friends who are relaxed and comfortable being themselves around you. And that’s 100%

AWESOME!

No need to knock

Photos from: here and here

23 thoughts to “#794 People you don’t clean up for when they visit”

  1. Huh. I just read this, thought, “Yeah, that’s pretty awesome, but our house doesn’t get that messy anyways, so…”

    Then I turned my head a fraction to the right and saw my filing folder sprawled open on the desk, my uni folder flopped pathetically on its side, a haphazard stack of library books, scrumpled bits of plastic from my new pack of pens, a pile of abandoned catalogues, and several incriminating foil balls leftover from devoured Easter eggs.

    …So. Yeah. Not having to clean up for my Cave Brothers and Sister? Pretty awesome. :P

  2. There’s something that people need to know when they come visit me. I have kids. My house is going to be a mess. I work and when I come home cleaning isn’t the first thing I want to do. Yes, I have toys thrown all over the house. Yes, I have dirty dishes in my sink. Yes, I haven’t hung my clothes in my closet for weeks, but you know what…. I don’t really care. I don’t clean up for people. If they are coming to visit me and they have a problem with my mess, they are more then welcome to clean it up. :-)
    I do clean it up really good for parties and stuff and Saturday is my main cleaning day. Now, my house isn’t such a mess that you can’t walk through it, ya know. The basement on the other hand…. but its still a work in progress.

    1. Hygeine, health and a safe fire exit is one thing, but what’s more important than love! My daughter’s are the same Bekah and I’m very proud of them for their living life to its fullest, making loving memories and family first!
      Bravo!

      1. I’ve been working on getting the kids to do some chores. Lilly’s main one is to keep her room clean which is a constant battle and to help me cook. Zach helps me with laundry and picks up his toys.

        1. That’s what I’m talking about, you’ve got your priorities in order, out flying frisbees, camping and playing on old playground equipment, searching for smiles, (hint-hint:), celebrating special occasions… all-ways so engaged in all the truly important things! A bright example of loving mama you all-ways are, Bekah!

  3. Bekah, you nailed it. If you want my house to look cleaner, I can direct you to the broom, duster and dish soap. Fortunately, I don’t have too many people come over that I need to impress. They’re quite happy to drink my beer in my filth.

    1. Exactly! I don’t expect other people to clean up for me, I don’t mind messes in other people’s houses, I actually kind of expect it.

  4. This is how I know if/when people love me, Bridget Jones style~ “just as I am!” :)

        1. Neil- YOU’D BETTER ACCEPT! I can honestly attest to how your blog-community seriously helped save my life in some of my darkest times of trouble and inspired me to not only exist again, but to awaken spirit, breathe and experience life to its fullest. Feel worthy of a heart of gold, love and everything great creator wants life for us to~Be! I’ll thank you for creating this sacred life-saving space eternally! YOU should win the award!

  6. Yeah! I very much agree with this post, as well as everyone’s comments and stuff. We just moved to a new house a few months ago and there has been a mad scramble to get everything in order. We even had people visit about a week after we moved in. That was chaos. I liked seeing the people that visited and stayed with us, but I didn’t like trying to make our house a descent place for them to settle when we hadn’t even fully settled ourselves in. Anyway, I like having visitors but hate cleaning up the house. Our basement is still cluttered and crammed with boxes, and probably will be for some time. C’est la vie.

    1. I feel ya there, Max. I just moved back in August and my basement is still packed full of stuff. Its stuff that I’m going to sell in a yard sale this summer, but its still very much in the way. Just last month we finally put up family pictures. It aggravated me when people would stop by and want a ‘tour’ of the house when I was trying to clean and unpack. Why? Why must you see my house? I don’t go to their house wanting a tour. It was just about every day for the first few weeks. Cousins, aunts, uncles, people I didn’t even know, friends of friends, neighbors… they call came by and hubby gave them all a tour.

      1. Well said. House tours can become quite exhausting indeed. We also just put up family pictures. We had them lying around all over the place, so we finally decided to put them up. Organizing an entire house is a lot of work.

  7. Contrary to others here, I actually enjoy and get great satisfaction & gratification from cleaning my home and keeping it tidy. I feel crazy if I have a pile of papers and mail cluttering my counter. Therefore, I use a prevention of cluttering approach by filing and recycling papers and mail as they come into my possession. I have created a home sweet home paradise for myself regardless of having visitors. I love being in a beautiful setting that’s pleasing to my eyes.

    However, I will do a more through cleaning for parties and such always appreciating the motivation. I present my home “as is” which is in pretty good shape I must say to my sister and best friend.

    1. I might need to borrow you for a weekend. :-)
      I actually tried cleaning up a bit last night, but the toys came right back out like they were never put up.

      1. I know Bekah, when there are little ones around it’s like live Toy Story… as it should be, when there are little ones around:)

    2. Wow, I hope nobody confuses me with this Kathy and expects a clean house when they visit! Nah, the people who know me know better…LOL! I just got a promotion at work and my first thought with spending my raise? A cleaning lady…LMAO! I appreciate a clean, neat home, but I just can’t force myself to do it regularly. I’m a slap and dash kinda person.
      You are admirable, Kathy. Are you for rent? :)

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