We’ve all been there.
Mustard-mayo swirls drip from the back of the hot-dog, coffee cups splash on the drive to work, and spoonfuls of lumpy ice cream crumble and go for a ride.
Yes, we’re all familiar with the classic Day-Long Shirt Stain, also known as the International Symbol of Clumsiness. Whether it’s a samosa spill on your sari, a wasabi smear on your kimono, or an olive oil splash on your freshly ironed toga, we all know what that spill means and that spill screams: you are messy.
It’s sad but it’s true, folks. Kiss the job interview goodbye, end the first date early, and skip the big toast at your daughter’s wedding. It’s all over now because you had your chance and you blew your chance. Guacamole smears on your tie and tomato squirts on your tux just trashed your night and trashed your mood.
Yes, we’ve all been there. And none of us like stained shirts.
But that’s why it’s so great when you just barely escape the stain. Yes, these drip-dodging miracles can happen one of three ways:
1. The Pick-Me-Up. That lumpy clump of ice-cream rolls off your belly and skids straight to the ground leaving only a couple rogue chocolate chips sitting in your belly-button dent. What a save. Just pick it up.
2. The Camouflage Mirage. When the juicy beef-drippings leaking out of the taco land squarely on a juicy beef-dripping-colored stripe on your clothes. Lucky break and now you can enjoy the day being clumsy in camo.
3. The Against-All-Odds. Here’s where you have absolutely no right to avoid the stain but do so for mystical reasons that defy all logic. Somebody steals a nacho and carelessly drops its load on your sleeve, but somehow it just skis off gracefully onto the tablecloth. A full beer gets spilled and drips all over you, but some quick whisking just blows it away and … no harm done. We can’t explain these ones, but they are true miracles.
Yes, a big spill without a big stain cranks the happiness dial to 10. That’s because you played with fire and came out cool, hung over the edge but pulled yourself back, and nearly ended it all, but instead just ended up being
AWESOME!
Number 3 really is miraculous. It’s like the Universe is watching this almost-stain happen, and instead says, “You know what, bro? I got this”, leaving you clean and free.
Truly awesome. :)
Happened to me today for lunch. Wearing a blue and white striped shirt and my spinach leaf covered in Ranch dressing fell off the fork and missed my mouth. Landed in the white stripe instead of the blue and missing my pants altogether.
Yes!! Its true miracles, beer gets spilled and drips its just skis off gracefully happen on to the tablecloth.
Almost every morning I am faced with stains. Zach’s runny nose wiped on my shirt, his dirty shoes rubbed up against my black dress pants, coffee spills, breakfast slipping off the spoon and in my lap, the ketchup squirting at me when I’m making Lilly’s lunch… . I’ve learned to carry a Tide to go pen and I clean up after I get to work.
I’m almost always spilling food on myself. I’m so clumsy, I can’t find my mouth apparently.
So yes!… No stains is very very very very awesome indeed!!!
And that taco looks fantasic. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a taco. Too bad I brought a salad for lunch and its storming outside, or I would soooooooo go get me a taco or two for lunch today.
I agree. I love tacos. :)
Oh.. I just remembered something so funny. This guy I used to work with came in one morning and had spilled coffee all down his back!!! He carried a backpack and forgot that he put his to-go cup in the side pocket and slung his backpack on and it spilled everywhere. I couldnt’ help but laugh. Good thing he thought it was funny too. He lived way too far away to even try to go home to change.
Wow… That’s some kind of hipster stain right there. Front-stains are too mainstream…
Probably the best laugh I’ve ever had at work.
I’ve discovered the trick is to wear food colored shirts. Try to match your ensamble with your days diet.
Wow, now that’s some serious planning, bro!
It takes a little work, but if you plan carefully you can get a full week out of one shirt!
That’s interesting and worth a try as clumsy as I am when I eat.
Buy clothing at thrift shops, NEVER spill, stain, drop a thing! MIddle name clumbsy, be-gone! Confidence and pocket book grows!
Buy something lovely, pretty, cost far too much new and all of the above comes rushing back. It’s the law of my land.
I LOVE thrift shops! They mean the world to me!
Picture #3- Dude looks like a lady:)