#753 When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out

Neil Pasricha

the sweet releaseYour head is a machine.

Honestly, just face it: your face and scalp are really just oily gift wrap over the giant, whirring Skull Factory running full-throttle inside your coconut. Just think about what’s going on up there.

First you’ve got sound waves constantly navigating your twisty, waxy ear canals like Luke Skywalker weaving through Death Star trenches. Then there’s your nose on permanent high sniff alert, searching out gas leaks in the basement, fresh croissants at the bakery, or coffee aisles in the grocery store. And we can’t forget your mouth and nose dancing together in the majestic art of breathing.

Some sort of sound wave metaphor

But wait, that’s not all. On top of these rickety assembly lines of important Head Business, you’ve got blood swirling around, mucus dripping all over the place, and neurons firing and bouncing off walls like a never ending game of Breakout.

Skull Factory’s a busy place, folks. The line keeps moving every day, every night, every year, forever.

BreakoutGiven how much is going on it’s no wonder the gears get gummed up once in a while. Rogue lashes jam your sockets, popsicles give you brainfreeze, and sneezes stall in your clogged-up noggin just as they’re trying to escape.

And you know what that feels like.

Face frozen in an awkward crunch, you stare at the ceiling and hold your hand up to your friend, pleading with the factory foreman to please just let it out. One eye popped open, the other squeezed shut, you clench your cheeks, twist your mouth into a triangle, and feel the lost sneeze pinball around your skull.

And then BOOM.

How good does it feel when that sneeze finally comes ripping out? The sweet release feels like someone yanking a red-hot, twisted wrench out of your grinding, crunched-up and steaming headgears to let all the oily, metal parts suddenly start whirring again.

You feel wild, you feel refreshed, and you just got a big face splash of

AWESOME!

Midnight shiftPhotos from: here, here, here, and here

12 thoughts to “#753 When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out”

  1. Heck yes! I did this today… followed by an equally awesome series of linked sneezes. Four in a row, which I thought was fairly impressive.

    1. I had a tickle in my nose on Monday and I sneezed like 10 times. People quit telling me “Bless You” after 3.

  3. It’s such a relief when it finally blows…kerchew!…because while waiting, my eyes water and I can barely speak.

  5. Just did this today! And the sneeze was silent and for a second everything was fine, then time stopped, then it came rushing out really fast!! This post makes me feel a little better about having a cold during year 12 exams!

  6. I hate when my sneeze goes away mid-sneeze. Here I’m left with a weird feeling in my nose and I just made some weird noise that isn’t a finished sneeze. Its the AHH without the CHOO.
    Stuck sneezes are easy to get out. I just look at the light and here it comes. Its funny when a sneeze is stuck because its like my eyes can’t stay open

  8. There aren’t many things in this world that quite equate to the buzz of a sneeze you can enjoy up to 20 seconds afterwards.

  9. I had a student (grade 7) expand on this theme last week: he said “you know it’s a really great sneeze when you fart a little.” Awesome.

  10. OMG I hate you so much! It’s 5:30 am and I just saw this and I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!!!!! Oh dear god I’m gonna pee myself

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