Whether it’s during lunch period in senior year, between double shifts at the hospital, or wedged amongst meetings at the office, you’ve really got to get your move on and get your groove on if you’re going to fill that belly while the clock’s clicking.
And let’s be honest, there’s a lot of ground to cover. Rounding up the troops, picking a destination, getting to the car and driving somewhere, and then ordering, eating, and paying for the meal, before scooping up the troops again and zipping back in time. I don’t know about you, but in the office where I work some people are pros at pulling off the Lunchtime Scoot and others are in way over their head.
Of course, the pros got their reputation by following a few basic rules.
First of all, they leave early. “Gotta beat the rush, gotta beat the rush,” they’ll chant, before cramming a carload over to the diner for 11:35 while the grill is still warming up. But hey, no lines, no traffic, and some extra TLC for your pastrami sandwich.
Secondly, they’re big believers in the Pee On Your Own Time (POYOT) Principle. Remember when you were five and your parents made you go to the bathroom before leaving the house? The pros expect you to take care of your bathroom break on your own time, so you don’t delay the Lunchtime Scoot in any way. Observe POYOT to score a repeat invite.
Thirdly, watch what you order. If everybody is getting the buffet, don’t order a baked ziti off the menu that takes forever to arrive. By the time your meal comes, everybody else will be finished and shaking their heads while tapping their watches. No bakes!
And finally, the pros generally take command when it’s time for the bill. They assume the part of Math Guy without hesitation, and sharply point and issue commands at the end of the meal. “Sandy, you had a drink so thirteen dollars, Raj, you upgraded to sweet potato fries so twelve, and everyone else owes ten bucks.” And don’t even try to go to an ATM or pay with a credit card unless you happen to enjoy receiving Extreme Stinkeye.
But the best part about dining with the pros is the classic post-lunch finishing move. Yes, I’m talking about scoring a much sweeter parking spot when you get back. While everybody else is still chowing down, you’re pulling through that puppy and getting ready to sit pretty all afternoon.
Congratulations on scoring The 12 O’Clock Upgrade.