#738 When you go out for lunch and come back to a way better parking spot

If it's 12, you're already running lateSometimes there isn’t much time for the Lunchtime Scoot.

Whether it’s during lunch period in senior year, between double shifts at the hospital, or wedged amongst meetings at the office, you’ve really got to get your move on and get your groove on if you’re going to fill that belly while the clock’s clicking.

And let’s be honest, there’s a lot of ground to cover. Rounding up the troops, picking a destination, getting to the car and driving somewhere, and then ordering, eating, and paying for the meal, before scooping up the troops again and  zipping back in time. I don’t know about you, but in the office where I work some people are pros at pulling off the Lunchtime Scoot and others are in way over their head.

Of course, the pros got their reputation by following a few basic rules.

Made with TLC at 11:30 in the morningFirst of all, they leave early. “Gotta beat the rush, gotta beat the rush,” they’ll chant, before cramming a carload over to the diner for 11:35 while the grill is still warming up. But hey, no lines, no traffic, and some extra TLC for your pastrami sandwich.

Secondly, they’re big believers in the Pee On Your Own Time (POYOT) Principle. Remember when you were five and your parents made you go to the bathroom before leaving the house? The pros expect you to take care of your bathroom break on your own time, so you don’t delay the Lunchtime Scoot in any way. Observe POYOT to score a repeat invite.

Thirdly, watch what you order. If everybody is getting the buffet, don’t order a baked ziti off the menu that takes forever to arrive. By the time your meal comes, everybody else will be finished and shaking their heads while tapping their watches. No bakes!

And finally, the pros generally take command when it’s time for the bill. They assume the part of Math Guy without hesitation, and sharply point and issue commands at the end of the meal. “Sandy, you had a drink so thirteen dollars, Raj, you upgraded to sweet potato fries so twelve, and everyone else owes ten bucks.” And don’t even try to go to an ATM or pay with a credit card unless you happen to enjoy receiving Extreme Stinkeye.

But the best part about dining with the pros is the classic post-lunch finishing move. Yes, I’m talking about scoring a much sweeter parking spot when you get back. While everybody else is still chowing down, you’re pulling through that puppy and getting ready to sit pretty all afternoon.

Congratulations on scoring The 12 O’Clock Upgrade.


Booyeah, GrandmaPhotos from: here, here,and here

33 thoughts on “#738 When you go out for lunch and come back to a way better parking spot

      1. Freudian slip?: “But the best party about dining with the pros…” Probably meant “part” not “party”

      2. Nice. I was thinking for a second it was on purpose to make it sound Italian, like “I have-a your pizza” or something.

  1. Wow. I am not a lunch time pro. I’m the guy who hopes to get the same bad spot after lunch. That way at the end of the day I don’t end up being the “shoot, where’d I park again” guy.

  2. OMG, that is the BEST! This usually happens if you take lunch at an odd time (say, at 11:00am when everyone else leaves at 12:00pm). Even though my parking lot is relatively small, I still really love it when I come back to a better spot! SO awesome!

  3. oh man I LOVE THIS! Those close spots are so prestigious. You can actually get promoted by having a good parking spot. Managers will be like “wow, Jones has a nice spot today, he must have been here early. What a great work ethic. PROMOTE!”

    1. Haha YES! I’m glad I’m not the only one that gets a little smug about my so-called arriving early “work ethic.”

      1. Ha ha… PROMOTE! I picture them saying it like that, too. Just yelling it and pounding your fist on your desk. Nothing changes, but now you’re promoted due to your excellent parking spot.

  4. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say
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  5. What makes it even a little more awesome is when you pull into the parking lot right as whoever was in that great spot is leaving. It’s like they were waiting for you to get there so you could have it.

  6. I just happened across your website, and have been clicking around like crazy to read all these cool little things. I think your website would benefit greatly from adding something like a “jump to random post” button, so that each time you click you’d be taken to the next, random awesome thing.

  7. For someone who is self-proclaimed cheap, I have to wonder why he’s not brown-bagging it more???!

  8. MMMmmmm………….FOOD!!!

  9. Umm… Wish I could relate to this and I usually do… Its jst tht I dnt really get it …… I’m only a pre teen …srry can’t relate

  10. I use to love doing this at college, or even when there was a couple hour break and someone was parked twenty miles from the building. We would search for a spot closer to the building, and stand in it until the person got the car. It was so much safer doing this especially when we had class til 630 at night in the winter

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