I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts.
Let’s not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing out big plumes of noxious gas doesn’t always smell good, but it generally feels mighty fine.
Now think back for a second to the last time you saw a tiny baby pop out a stinky heater. I’m betting after they filled the air they just stared at you with a blank expression that seemed to say “Yeah, it was me. So what?”
And maybe that’s a good thing.
Maybe when your boyfriend’s snuggling with you under the blanket and there’s a few chirps from the back of his pants, that’s good. Maybe when Grandpa leans back on his rocker and lets one rip during Sunday dinner, that’s good. Maybe when your wife nonchalantly blasts one while barbecuing on the balcony, that’s good.
And maybe it’s especially good when everyone laughs afterwards.
Because hey, it just means we’re comfortable being ourselves and relaxed enough to know farting is a natural and normal part of life. Nobody chooses farting as a hobby but it’s part of what makes us human. Tuba scales, silent stink bombs, machine gun blasts, whatever you’re putting out there that’s fine, that’s fine, that’s perfectly fine.
Now, we’re not advocating a world of no limits. There’s nothing wrong with keeping some personal space, either. After all, maybe you do your nose-picking in the car, shower behind a curtain at the gym, or burp quietly into a fancy cloth hankie. If so, that’s cool too.
All we’re saying is that if you get to the point where you’re comfortable farting around each other, it means you’re family, you’re friends, or you’re completely in love.
So just relax and let it out.
AWESOME!
Illustration from: here
42 Comments
August 13, 2009 at 12:05 am
The best time to fart is when you’re stuck in a car on a road trip and you have to pee really bad, then you fart and you don’t have to pee quite as bad.
August 13, 2009 at 12:25 am
gotta love the ones you can do deliberately to your friends , knowing its coming and it will either disgust them or crack them up.
August 13, 2009 at 1:43 am
cute picture of the whoopie cushions!
August 13, 2009 at 2:25 am
Hahaha. That is totally awesome. This is one of my favorite ones so far. :D
August 13, 2009 at 4:43 am
Hey there,
Great article.
Do you know why some fart smell and others don’t?
It is so the deaf people are not discriminated against.
August 13, 2009 at 5:44 am
I will not go out with any girl that passes wind.
August 13, 2009 at 8:22 am
I got news for ya Mike. Just like you every girl MUST pass wind! If she doesn’t I suggest checking for a pulse.
August 14, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Maybe he’s into dead chicks ;)
September 7, 2009 at 11:56 pm
LMAO!!
November 16, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Actually, I think dead bodies release excess farts, too. So he’s f-ed. muahahaha
December 31, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Stick with German ones I guess. . . .
August 13, 2009 at 9:54 am
When you get to that point its such a relief. When you go on that first date you have to hold it in all night and almost cant wait for the drive home. First time i farted around my girlfriend i tried blaming it on her…….didn’t work!
August 13, 2009 at 10:05 am
True story – I don’t remember the first time I kissed my husband, but I do remember the first time he farted in front of me! It was (strangely) a romantic moment, precisely for the reason stated in this post! And it was hysterical….
BTW, I’m pretty sure my husband chooses farting as a hobby!!
August 13, 2009 at 10:32 am
I’m pretty sure that most husband’s do. Mine certainly has.
September 7, 2009 at 11:57 pm
mine too, oh and he passed it onto our son ;)
August 13, 2009 at 10:19 am
It’s also fun to quote Monty Python while doing it. “I fart in your general direction.”
November 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm
haha my favorite!
August 13, 2009 at 11:40 am
The other day, my wife was taking a nap next to me on the couch while I was typing away on the laptop. I don’t remember what we had for dinner last night, but she must have let out a dozen little farts during a half hour nap.
I actually found it adorable.
August 13, 2009 at 2:18 pm
That’s actually a euphonium.
August 13, 2009 at 10:15 pm
My one year old farts and just keeps on keeping on. No pause for that quick look around or that “ooh I hope this doesn’t smell” beat. Just pure and simply part of the natural flow. Totally awesome.
August 14, 2009 at 12:03 am
Nothing about anything you said is even remotely awesome.
I am the last person to whine about things being “gross,” but farting is just a bad thing to do around people. I mean, it’s air that’s been compressed in your shit. I think a lot of people forget this when they talk about farts being cute.
I would fart in front of a person just as soon as I would hold a plate of feces under their nose.
August 14, 2009 at 1:20 am
Actually, you seem to be the first one to complain about things being gross.
December 31, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Sorry about the death of your sense of humor
August 14, 2009 at 3:02 am
This is not so awesome, when one friend decides that you are close enough to fart around and you haven’t quite reached that point yet…it makes for awkward moments.
August 14, 2009 at 4:09 am
In our family we sometimes scream ‘fire’ before farting.
August 14, 2009 at 11:31 pm
I thought farting was only funny to boys in elementary school. Grow up.
December 31, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Well Kate evidently it is funny to some of us older folks, you need to get out more
August 15, 2009 at 12:22 am
Maybe it’s just me, but I never feel uncomfortable when someone (even newer friends) lets one slip in front of me. It’s even more awkward when I’m in the bathroom with someone in the stall that is very obviously waiting for me to leave so they can, er, take care of business. I want to whisper to them that I don’t care! Let it out!
In other news, my friend once farted the beginning notes of Reveille.
November 28, 2009 at 11:02 pm
This happens to me so often, jajaja, specially in school.
August 15, 2009 at 11:27 am
Eh, I don’t think this is awesome. I don’t fart in front of my partner if I can avoid it and neither does he. It’s just a matter of respect (why would I subject my man to a stinky fart?? Ew). Burping though, that’s another matter. It’s like a freakin competition to see who can produce the loudest/funniest.
August 15, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Maybe you can do the next entry on coprophilia. Based on the comments here, it would be very popular with these people who clearly love the smell of shit.
August 19, 2009 at 6:45 pm
The best is when you feel like you have to pass gas around someone you know or just met, not too bad, and they make you laugh and it flies out your back end. No excuses for that one :)
August 23, 2009 at 12:09 am
I’ve never gotten to that point with anyone.
August 23, 2009 at 4:35 am
Your web site is beautiful. I wish you continued success.
August 23, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Some of the people commenting on here have sticks up the ass of the sticks up their asses! Face it, farting is hilarious. It always will be, and always has been. And as a married guy, I’ve found that the best time to do it is in the bed, when my wife is fast asleep. I just pull the covers over her head, let it rip, and enjoy the fireworks.
September 8, 2009 at 12:01 am
ROFLMAO OMG I would kill my partner, but that is pretty funny
August 26, 2009 at 10:42 am
Not even remotely awesome. Completely disrespectful.
September 23, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Not cool. I’ve never done it in front of my man, and I don’t plan on it! Not attractive at all.
October 7, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Nope. Not awesome. Pathetic actually.
October 28, 2009 at 10:28 am
While I do agree, hesitantly, that farts are hilarious, I will go out of my NOT to poot in the presence of my spouse, such as the camo-cough, or squeeze grapes so that the nuisance escapes slowly and silenty, and without accompanying stink; or I will just leave the room for some damn privacy. Now I WILL , however, burp so loudly and disgustingly that it seems like, as my dad so eloquently states, I just cheated by ass out of a good fart, to which my husband replies “damn I wish you would just lift your leg and fart already”. And sometimes said burps are quite odiferous, to boot. So as I cringe, comment and occasionally laugh at his frequent butt-speak, he does the same with my guttural blasts that seem to eminate at times from the depths of hell. I’d call that an even trade.
November 21, 2009 at 3:37 pm
My husband will try to dutch oven me while we are laying in bed together. I try to avoid it but sometimes I’m just not quick enough. Afterwards we just lay next to each other and laugh. It’s normal, and healthy, sometimes hilarious. It’s not about a lack of respect. It’s fun. Besides I don’t exactly smell like roses either.
January 7, 2010 at 2:36 pm
LOL!! My sisters and I went on a ride that was very very closed in. As soon as we were buckled in and the door shut, no way of leaving, I let a very quiet but horribly smelling fart out, and waited for them to realize what had just happened. I laughed so hard!! It was awesome!!!