Hands up if you drive on the snowy side of the planet.
If so then you know how your icebox on wheels gets sick when the weather dips. Washer fluid smears and freezes on your windshield, windows jam shut, and those nasty, rock-hard clumps of dirty frozen slush start bumper surfing on the back of your ride.
Sure, sure, your tires spin in the snowbanks and sand those car boogers into dirty brown icicles. But then they just hang there proudly — slushy arms crossed, salty eyebrows raised, and fat icy grins on their faces like they own the place.
Yes, they ride along when the family picks up a Christmas tree, sit caboose on the trip to the mall, and hang silently in the shadows of the driveway all night, perfectly still, perfectly quiet … and waiting.
That’s why it’s so satisfying when you put the boot to those slushy chunks and show them who’s boss. When you drop them to the mat it’s like yanking a swollen appendix out of an eight-year-old in the operating room, throwing garbage bags of old clothes up and out of the basement, or tossing the churning sea of sickness in your stomach into the toilet.
Kicking those clumps of frozen slush off the back of your car gives us all a big Awwww yeah moment of
AWESOME!
32 Comments
November 5, 2009 at 1:13 am
I love doing that. I used to work at a full-serve gas station, and I often asked people if I could kick those clumps off. Purely for their benefit, of course.
November 5, 2009 at 1:16 am
I should add that it’s also awesome (dangerous) when snow gets compacted up in the wheel wells, and you can have a go at it with your hockey stick or snow brush.
November 5, 2009 at 2:08 am
I miss living in Canada when I hear people talk about how they can just solve problems with a MacGyver-like use of their Hockey stick, because honestly, who doesn’t have a half dozen hockey sticks in their garage.
*sigh*.. I haven’t seen a hockey stick in about 10 years.
November 5, 2009 at 11:57 am
That’s a real tragedy. You should get a hockey stick if only to gaze fondly upon it from time to time.
November 5, 2009 at 1:25 am
Man, the snowy season is coming WAY too soon . . . any time now, dang it.
But at least it brings the small joy of kicking off those clumps.
AWESOME!
November 5, 2009 at 7:56 am
I enjoy doing this, but because I usually do this in my garage, there’s always a bit of puddling that occurs the day after.
November 5, 2009 at 8:22 am
There are a lot of activities involving cars and snow that are truly awesome. However, the satisfaction of kicking the mudflaps to see 30lbs of slush fall is hard to match.
Honorable mention goes to “cleaning snow off your car and getting the whole of the roof snow with one well-planned push”
Gosh I miss living in a snow state…
November 5, 2009 at 9:32 am
Geez…..we’ll be doing this soon too. *shudder*
November 5, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I call these “elephant balls”. Don’t know why. I especially love it when it gets stuck under the wheel well. It’s like an extra bonus to kick the stuff hanging down and then the stuff under the wheel well comes sliding off too.
November 5, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I hate winter. All parts of it. But leave it to 1000 awesome things to find a bright spot in an otherwise oppressive season. Thanks!
November 5, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Hmm… I wonder. Does it count as bathroom-related when it’s in a metaphor? I say yes, it does.
November 6, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Agreed. We haven’t had one of these in a while, so I think the bar has been lowered for something making the list.
*tick*
November 5, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I love doing this. But I have to wait for it to actually snow on Long Island first.
November 5, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Here in my little corner of New England (DEFINITELY on the snowy side of the planet), we call those “car turds.” Indeed, kicking them off of my car is entirely satisfying!
November 5, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I’ve been dubbed to have that job and I love it!
November 5, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Your timing is impeccable as always, I had my first snow of the year today.
Not enough to need to kick mud flaps, but enough to get me excited. I love Canada.
November 5, 2009 at 6:41 pm
this is truly awesome. living in the mid-west this is something that happens quite frequently in the winter, and i always get mad when someone else does it before me. it’s so satisfying seeing that giant chunk of slush and ice nastyness fall off of your car.
November 5, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Orange barrels, built up ice clinkers in the wheel wells, empty windshield washer tank, broken heater……sludgey oil…..I miss Wisconsin…
November 5, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I’d love to try that. Sadly it’s summer all year round where i am staying. @.@
November 6, 2009 at 12:32 am
Mudsicles
November 6, 2009 at 10:13 am
That is always fun to knock off.
November 6, 2009 at 11:00 am
I chant “I hate winter” every time I kick one of those off.
November 11, 2009 at 8:47 am
My daughter loved doing this so much as a child that she would kick the slush bunnies off of other cars as well. I had to make her stop when it looked like she was kicking the cars themselves.
November 11, 2009 at 11:23 am
Fenderbergs
November 15, 2009 at 9:19 am
As a former mail carrier, nothing would give me greater satisfaction than doing a grand, “Hi-yah” type of kick and getting all that crud to fall off at once! My favorite weapon in my arsenal to get the really icy ones off? A rubber mallott. Buy one today and have so much fun–just like bubblewrap, but colder and louder! Have fun!
November 15, 2009 at 9:42 am
i truly thought that i was the only person in the world who liked to do this! this is truly one of life’s greatest pleasures!:)
November 15, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I LOVE doing that!!
I’d get mine, then every car in a 3 car radius of mine. The best ones are the ones that don’t come off that easily. Once you pop one those babies off there’s a sense of satisfaction that can’t be found anywhere else.
That’s the one thing I totally miss about living in a snowy area.
November 15, 2009 at 8:51 pm
my mom and i call it “clunker kickin”
very satisfactory.
November 16, 2009 at 1:53 am
Totally my favorite! Every time we visit my mom in Wisconsin during the winter, I swear I’d walk around mall parking lots doing this to peoples cars if the other members of my party would let me.. hhahahaaha
thanks for such an awesome blog. :D
November 16, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I love doing this in the winter!! Even if I can only see a little bit I’ll still kick my bumper gently in the hopes that something is hiding underneath and it will fall down.
November 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm
ROAD CHERRIES! The next best thing to kicking them off is hitting a good bump in the road, hearing the thud as they hit the ground and watching them skid off the road in the rearview mirror.
One of the highlights of Canadian winters for sure!
November 17, 2009 at 11:07 pm
ugh i hate the cold, i love the winter clothes, and i LOVE kicking those chunks off my car. but i guess until i’m wearing the right shoes to do it i should write a note saying “don’t touch these, kick your own.”