#534 Catching food in your mouth

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.


Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts on “#534 Catching food in your mouth

  1. Realising it’s Saturday before you fully wake up.

    I love that feeling of half waking up on Saturday morning, thinking about the day ahead and then remembering that it’s Saturday – you can roll over and go back to sleep. Awesome!

  2. Waking up panicked that you are late for school or work and realizing it’s Saturday :)

    1. bondsboy and Michelle: you guys are totally on the same wavelength!

      Awesome “cross-post”!

    1. Yes! So amazing! My sister and I had this spoon that came in a box of Trix cereal years ago. It was yellow and had the Trix bunny on the handle. When you put it in the cold milk (or I assume, any cold liquid), it turned bright purple. It was so awesome.

      I’d totally forgotten about that spoon until a couple years ago when I was on campus and people were handing out these blue plastic cups. I thought, ooh another plastic cup for the Cabinet-Full-O-Plastic-Cups, but when I filled that little guy up with ice and water and saw its gorgeous transformation to purple, I was so glad I didn’t disregard that cup and toss it to the back of the shelf. I loved it so much, in fact, that my friends laughingly even donated their color-changing cups to me. :D

      1. Laura, I was just going to comment about the color-changing cups! And even cooler are the mugs with disappearing things, like the global warming mug that you can watch the coastlines disappear.

  3. When the nice person in the next bathroom stall gives you toilet paper when yours is all out. :)

    1. LOL…YES!!!! you feel like your stuck and you don’t know what you are going to do, and then a hand reaches under the stall with a few sheets of TP and you are saved!

    2. Equally awesome is when you notice JUST before it’s too late that there is no TP in your stall. PHEW! Yank up those britches and beebop on over to a different stall. Crisis averted! :D

    3. That’s such a relief. The other day I was in my dorm bathroom when I realized I was out of toilet paper, and had to wait for someone to get out of the shower to get some for me. But they were really nice about it when they did.

  4. when you walk onto the subway/metro/skytrain station platform right as the train is pulling up. score!

  5. Knowing a song before it becomes popular.

    When you hear a song that you think is really good, then you go home and look up the lyrics. After memorizing them, you listen to the song nonstop. After a few weeks, you hear it on the radio and your sister screams, “Have you heard this song?! It’s so good!” You then tell her that you knew it before she did, and that two weeks ago she said it sucked. Awesome.

    1. Ahh, this happened to me with MGMT’s Time to Pretend! Then I heard it in the opening credits of the movie 21 and it made me so happy.

    2. Yeah that is cool. The popularity kinda takes away the specialness of the song after a while, but it is nice to “be the first one.”

  6. Realizing an essay is double spaced.

    Yup, you read that book, and Google’d until you were sure you knew enough about searching to run the company. You drank coffee… lots of it. Perhaps you even stayed up all night, frantically writing in short bursts as ideas hit, then blankly staring into space on those long empty stretches, hoping, nay, longing, for a few more words to inch the blinking cursor down the page. That little line is taunting you, shaking its little head in a way that you know is saying “Tsk tsk, so close, aren’t you?” Suddenly, you can take no more. You’re certain you’ve missed something, and, darn it! this paper won’t beat you! You are a warrior of the words! Battler of the Books! Your last glimmer of hope rides on finding the assignment page. Candy wrappers, notebook paper, books, and CDs all come flying out of your bag as you search for it until, finally, you come out of the black hole with THE paper. Scanning it, you fear all hope is lost… but, WAIT! You see the two most magical words known to late night writers- double spaced. Go ahead, get some sleep, because you, my friend, have turned your 4 page mediocrity into an 8 page masterpiece, just in time to walk into class smiling, with the printed copies in hand.


    1. Yes! Essays are the bane of my existence, but when I see “double spaced” I instantly feel my GPA breathe a sigh of relief and my bed calling my name.

  7. Defying time: gaining an hour for daylight savings. flying across time zones… sleeping for a really long period of time…

      1. When it goes the other way it can be a little frustrating, I just have to remind myself that it’ll be worth it in a few months when I get the extra hour.

  8. When you ask your friend for one piece of whatever they are eating, and all of a sudden there are multiple pieces in your hand!

    Whether it is sitting in a theatre eating popcorn and bunchacrunch, munching on m&m’s in the library, or trying to conceal your stinky breath with a tictac, at one point or anything you WANT something that someone else is snacking on. You work up the courage to ask, “hey man, can i have a piece?” and all of a sudden there are three, four, maybe even five pieces of that delicious treat you’ve been eyeing for the past 10 minutes.

  9. Hey hey.

    I came across your blog end of last year and I have read every single post from 1000 right up to today – total awesomeness!!! Neil you really, really are awesome and so is this blog.

    Reading your posts has become part of my daily routine and has lifted my spirits in more than one occasion.

    Thanx and keep up the great work :-P

  10. When you think you’re out of french fries but when you get ready to toss the bag you discover a few more down there, extra salty.


    1. It’s always entertaining to read other people’s bumper stickers. It’s funny to see ones that are like “John Kerry 2004” … yep, pretty sure that ship has sailed, but you just keep on keepin’ on!

  11. What kids say they want to be when they grow up. One of my brothers wanted to be a Power Ranger. Another brother wanted to be a cheeta.
    I wanted to be a professional ice skater, but I couldn’t skate.
    My daughter however…wants to be a doctor. I just hope she doesn’t change her mind.

    1. My sister wanted to be a tornado chaser. You can imagine the relief my parents felt when that phase passed!

      When I was little, I said I wanted to work at Pizza Hut. I had really high aspirations. I guess I just thought it would be really awesome to make pizzas, the best food in the world, all day.

      1. yeah, storm chaser was on my list too along with ghost hunter. Seriously…I was really wanting to do those. Oh, the good ol’ days.
        Pizza Hut? MMM…I could really go for a pizza right now.

        1. Ha ha ha, yeah at one point I wanted to be a giraffe. (I guess I was tired of being shorter than my 3 older siblings!)

    2. Astronaut was my first choice. Then prime minister, although I can’t stand politics.

      Now I know all I want to be is happy.

      1. i asked my cousin yesterday who’s 5 what she wanted to be when she grew up…her answer? a shot doctor. (at first i thought she said a shark doctor)

  12. When your cats let you sleep in.

    My cats feel that 630am is the time for me to get up .. everyday!!! Once in a while, they will let me sleep in. I love those days.

  13. Eye-contact.
    Not only is it awesome to be comfortable enough with someone to make good eye contact but you get so much more out of the conversation

    Also awesome when you can have a whole conversation through your eyes, no talking

  14. Running into an old friend (whom you thought you would never be friends with again due to some reason) and almost immediately settling back into the friendship and comfort level you once had. Life is too short!

  15. Travel size shampoo, toothpaste, body wash, shaving cream, mouthwash…you name it, its awesome!

    1. I always love seeing what treats the travel-size-aisle will have to offer. You never know what kind of mini-product you’ll walk away with!

  16. When you wake up ridiculously early and see the clock saying its something like 4:48am. its the moment where you just feel so good knowing that you can sleep for hours yet and just doze back to sleep so easily, awesome feeling…

  17. the lack of grace and self respect you can have eating popcorn.

    with popcorn you can just throw it towards your face and if it misses, you can just pick off yourself later on and eat it then! awesome

  18. Waiting until the very last moment to double space a paper.

    It’s like magic! You know you have to turn in a 2 page paper. You’re not quite certain that you have enough info to fill it out but you dive on in anyway. You type and type and type, all the while fighting that intense urge to see how much you really have. Until finally you decide you’re done. You’ve given all you got. So you go ahead, highlight the whole thing and press that double space icon with all the hope and faith in the world. Then, wholah! You’re good! It was close, but you made it. You might even have a little extra on a third page.


  19. When you are at a red light, and you’re the only car in a turn lane, then the light turns green, and you know it is just for YOU!


  20. Awesome = when you wake up in the morning naturally, one minute before your alarm would have gone off. No annoying buzzing or beeping or what have you and your day looks generally much more happy and bright!

    1. This makes mornings so much better! I’m not a morning person so it rarely happens to me, but that makes the times it does happen all the more special.

  21. Drinking your breakfast beverage on the terrace in the morning. The light is still low, the sun is rising, the birds are singing and if you’re lucky and quiet you might even observe a squirrel jumping in the grass.

  22. “Making good time” on a car trip – as nice as it sounds just to meander my way to a destination and stop wherever I feel like it, every time I drive somewhere over an hour away my competitive spirit kicks in and I must beat the clock. It is insanely satisfying to shave 10 minutes off your ETA :-)

  23. When realizing that a friend of yours is having very huge secrets with you, and only you. For example that the person has been lying all over and around to people, but not to you. AWESOME!

  24. When you get a book from the library, only to discover that you read it years ago and loved it

    As you browse the shelves at the library, you see a book, hidden next to the flashy covers of the newest teen vampire novel (barf). Its a bit small and worn, with that old book smell. You decide to take a chance on it.

    You begin to read, and something tugs at the back of your mind…the main character seems a bit familiar…wait, no, it can’t be! Yes, yes, it is! You’ve read this book before! And it was just as awesome then as it is now! You hurriedly finish the book, and sigh with content to have completed a wonderful old favorite.


  25. When you figure out your own personal “end of the movie song.” It’s the song that would play at the end of your movie (the one running in your head…) as that last scene is shot and just before the credits start bubbling up on screen. So many songs, but then one day, driving down the highway, you hear it. And you know that it’s the song. You’ve finally found the song for your movie.. the song that will play over the closing credits in the movie of your life.

    Whether it be a still frame of a high five caught in action to the tune of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” or that long awaited kiss to Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody,” it’s the movie running in your head and man, when those credits roll, the time is right and the people are there, it’s nothing short of awesome.

    1. What’s your end of the movie song?

      I don’t think I’ve found mine yet, but I’m still looking!

  26. Dousing yourself with ice-cold hosewater, then jumping in the pool.

    Do it yourself, or have a friend do it if you can’t inflict it upon yourself. Squeal and hop around like an idiot for a few seconds. Then jump into the pool. What felt slightly cool before now feels like bathwater. AAAH. :)

    I did this all the time when I was a kid, and it was always awesome. It’s an excellent method for people like me who are complete wusses when it comes to entering a pool whose water temperature is best described as “refreshing”. And when you use the buddy method, it’s fun for the hose-wielder too.

    1. I do that when I go to swim practice, they make us take showers first and the pool water is always a little cold so I take a hot shower then turn off the heat just before I run out to the pool deck!

  27. – Best or great friends!
    – The look on a child’s face when they get their dream present from you!
    – Cookie Cake! (at birthday parties is a bonus, your’s is an extra bonus)
    – Traveling to other countries!
    – Road Trips!!
    – Traveling in general!
    – College Parties! (bonus for the day before exams)
    – Beating an older brother or sister in something! (bonus if it is the same thing in which they have been beating you for years)
    – Playing with friends!
    – Pulling all-nighter’s to play video games with friends!
    – POOL PARTIES!!! (bonus if it is at someone else’s house)

      1. I have only been to one other country other than USA and that was Canada. I loved it there. I would absolutely go back anytime. I went my freshman year in high school with other school’s french classes. I was the only one from my school to go and I am so glad that I didn’t miss out.

        1. I’ve never been outside the country :( I’ve left the “lower 48” (yay Hawaii!), but that’s it. I’ve heard Canada is really awesome. This year I made a friend from Canada; she came alllllll the way to Missouri, of all places, to get an additional degree. She’s so awesome and tells me wonderful Canada stories.

          Plus I totally remember the comment from last week’s contest about Girl Guide cookies and I would love to eat one. Hehehe :D

          1. I love all the Canada support! Its a beautiful place to live, and no matter where I travel, there’s no where else I’d want to stay.

            Also, yes, girl guide cookies are awesome!

            1. AND some of my favorite things have come from Canada … like this blog. And Michael Bublé.


          2. I have a case of Canadian Girl Guide cookies sitting in my front hallway right now! My daughter is supposed to sell them, but alas, her best customer is yours truly.

  28. Spending All Night Talking with a Close/Long Lost Friend

    Perhaps that friend that moved away is finally back in town for a week. Or maybe you’re that friend. Or maybe school/work has just kept you from hanging out with them. Regardless, there’s the night where you and your best friend reconnect, and reconnect, and reconnect. It starts out with a movie, and then, hunger moves you to a late night run to Steak and Shake. From there, you drive around because neither of you is anywhere near tired or done talking. Finally, (preferably parked on a cliff or some other vantage point) the sun comes up, marking the end to the festivities. And maybe there’s still enough time for breakfast.

    Sure, you may spend the whole next day yawning and pounding caffeine like there’s about to be a worldwide shortage However, there is no question that everything you talked about, and the night as a whole was just plain…


    1. Colin, you are so right! This is a great one. It’s like the world wants you keep talking, laughing, reminiscing, filling each other in. It knows you needed it. Not being caught up on sleep for a day or two is a small price to pay for the awesomeness of not being able to stop “catching up” with a good friend.

  29. using something as a microphone that isn’t.
    hairbrush, loofa, water bottle, tv remote, lipstick, rolled up paper…. When my daughter was a little baby I used her foot as a microphone and she would laugh forever about it!

  30. winning contests or raffle drawings!
    I once one a 4-gig Ipod nano from a raffle!!!!

  31. The people here commenting on this blog is awesome….yep that means you and you…oh, and you. Reading what all of you think is special and awesome to you is..well….awesome.
    All of you make me smile.

    1. you just made me smile telling me that I made you smile!!!

      another awesome thing!
      feel-good ripple-affect

      1. You just made me smile by telling me I made you smile from telling you that you make me smile.
        Today’s a good day….full of happy smiles.

        1. You both just made me smile by telling each other that each of you made your respective selves smile because Bekah thinks that we’re all awesome and consequently make her smile and…

          Ah, my head hurts. This is what I get for thinking…

  32. Rumble Strips.

    When you’re speeding down the highway of life, belting out the tunes, and generally not paying attention, there’s the Rumble Strip to tell you, “Hey buddy! Slow down. There’s a Stop sign up ahead.”

    Hitting those stripes of roughed-up asphalt, is like being gently nagged by Mom.

    ZIP!- ZOop -Zoo -Zzz -zzz… STOP.


    1. Oh, oh! This one reminds me!

      I don’t know if you have ever come across the “paint test strip” part of the highway? Oh man is it awesome!!
      I get excited for it every time I drive East of Toronto on the 401.
      It is probably about a km or two of the highway and they have put all these crazy experimental paints in strips right in the middle of the road. Some of them are textured, some are flamboyant colours and others are painted in bizarre designs.

  33. Really well-dressed older folks…when someone’s awesome style catches your eye, and you realize they’re your grandparents’ age. There’s nothing like admiring a dapper gentleman or a striking older woman because it erases the fear of growing old, knowing that (cliché alert) you really can look great at any age…AWESOME!

    For some inspiration, see advancedstyle.blogspot.com (I do not know the author of this blog personally, honest!)

  34. Experiencing another culture or custom that is different from your own.
    Huge bonus points for exchange students who are there for more than two months!
    – Carnaval in Brazil!!!

  35. That moment when you wake up and are confused as to what day it is- for a second you think you have to get up for school/work, but then you realize it’s Saturday, and you have nothing to do that morning but stay in bed and sleep some more. Even better when you can hear the rain outside your window, and instead of going out in that, you get to curl up inside a warm nest of blankets and pillows.

  36. The eye-witness

    We’ve all been there before. When that moment of ‘awesome’ happens…but you realize instantly, that there was no one around to actually back you up on that instant of awesomeness.

    You could have just finished Blaster Master on the NES, alone in your basement after a 5 hour. no-blink marathon.

    Sunk that hole in one at your favorite kick-back golf course on a lazy Sunday morning.

    Or caught that bar of soap on the way down as it slipped from your hand as you were washing your arm in the shower.

    They are all awesome moments by themselves, but when someone is there and can turn to your friends, after you finish telling them the story of your epic 15 minute battle against the fire whip end boss and say…yup, I was there. I saw them do it.

    That’s when you have that smug smile on your face, arms crossed and nodding inside your eye-witness, iron clad bubble of…


  37. Seeing your best friend after months apart. You never used to go a day without talking on the phone or seeing each other when you were younger, but things have changed…now you have separate lives, different friends, and live in different places. Your friends now are great, but nothing beats that long, catch-up conversation with your best friend, laughing over old jokes, and when it feels like you’ve never been apart and are just picking up where you left off.

  38. The Ice Cream Man

    Whether you’re 5 or 50, you recognize that tune coming out of the truck roaming around your neighborhood. As a kid, you jump up, run to mom and dad to ask for that all important ice cream loan. You run outside barefoot; who knows where or when he’ll stop. Your neighbors all emerge too, clutching crumpled dollar bills and trying not to step on rocks. The truck slows down, you look at the pictures on the menu and it’s decision time. Trusty old cone? Mario face with the bubble gum nose? Ice cream sandwich destined to leave more on your hands than in your mouth?


    1. I had never seen an ice cream truck in person until I moved in with hubby and one came by the house. I heard the music and asked him what it was and he just laughed at me for not knowing. But ya know what I did….I ran out there and got me some ice cream….it was soooo awesome.

    2. Like Bekah, I never really experienced the ice cream man as a child. I lived on a dead-end street and I guess the ICM didn’t feel like it’d be worth his while to take that little journey. However, I’ve since moved out and to a different town and there is this guy who drives around an ice cream Jeep. It literally looks like he lifted a grocery store ice cream case and replaced his backseat with it. He drives around our apartment complex, ringing a bell. It’s quite a sight. :)

    3. There’s was always an ice cream man in front of my school tuesday afternoon. That was great. During the break we went out there and bought ourselves some ice cream – even our teacher joined us.

  39. Waking up early and having some extra time to yourself in the morning.

    Maybe it’s because of a class cancellation, maybe you didn’t need that extra time for snoozes, or heck, maybe you’re taking a “mental health day.” You don’t need to be a morning person to realize that enjoying the hours of the day you’re usually too busy for is…


  40. When you’ve been sleeping on your ear and you turn over and your ear unfolds all on its own.


  41. Snail mail! Who doesn’t love getting something in the mail? A letter, a postcard, a package? All are awesome!

    1. And when the magazine finally comes (you’ve been eagerly checking for it for days) it’s so exciting, you clear you calendar for the day to sit down and read it. Twice.

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