#394 When your dad checks under the bed and finds no monsters

Neil Pasricha

There’s something in the dark.

Floors creak and doors squeak as furnaces click and ticking clocks tick. Fridges hum and oven burners pop as garage doors close and footsteps flip flop.

Sometimes it sounds like there’s a monster hiding deep in the darkness of your room.

Blind and alone, scared on your own, your ears crank it up and hear every little sound: Are those fingernails scratching the floor? Is that breathing from under the bed? And is that gurgling coming from the closet?

So you hold your breath and dive under the covers. You freeze and don’t make a sound. You stay still and just pray for tomorrow. You stay still and pray nothing’s around.

But if those creaks don’t stop creaking and those pops don’t stop popping you’re only left with one big option: Sit up and scream for your life.

That’s when mom or dad charges into your room, flicks on all the lights, and checks everywhere monsters could be hiding. Flashlights poke around closet corners and search missions are conducted under the bed. Eventually, empty closets and open floors all confirm that you’re gonna live through the night.

So let your eyes bug back in, let your your sweaty bangs dry, and let your heartbeats slow right down. You’re going to be just fine and now it’s time to relax into those cool and crumpled sheets, flip to the other side of the pillow, and smile and fade into a calm and dreamy night.

AWESOME!

This is post 1 of 1 2 3 4 5 for Kids Week!

Photos from: here and here

29 thoughts to “#394 When your dad checks under the bed and finds no monsters”

  1. Due to a trundle bed beneath my bed, my scary things from childhood were always possibly in my closet or in a dark corner. I slept with my closet light on all throughout my young childhood — a nightlight just wouldn’t cut it. It was always SO comforting when mom and/or dad would come in to reassure you.

    KIDS WEEK?! I can’t wait for the posts this week! :D

  2. I’m almost seventeen and I still sometimes have my mother check for monsters. But since my room is upstairs and she is often tired due to work, I just grab my Reese’s pillow and make the trek down to her room for a few days. This mostly happens when terrible thunderstorms come, so at least it’s not as bad as it was in my younger years.

    1. No, no I don’t. Perhaps the monsters eat the socks? That would explain the growing pile of socks with no matches…

  4. I never really had a ‘monster’ problem. I was always afraid that people were looking through my window.
    My daughter has a huge monster problem. Its eased up a bit in the last few months. I keep telling her that there is no way monsters can get in our house. We have a monster-proof house. You can’t tell her that they don’t exist, she won’t believe you.
    She doesn’t even want Santa to come in our house. She tells me and hubby to leave a note for him to leave the presents on the porch and I’ll come out and get them after he leaves.

    1. I remember that everytime I visited my grandma, I always had to check the bathtub for witches before I would use the bathroom.

  6. The monsters under my bed are well known to be on the lookout for stray fingers, toes, knees or noses venturing over the edge of the mattress. If that ever happens, woe to you my friend. Woe to you.

    1. It would help if you found a way to get out of the room without touching the floor. We always used to play games where you had to cover as much ground as possible without touching the carpet (which was invariably assumed to be lava or filled with alligators). A series of hopping between pillows, chairs, and big piles of laundry really helped you make it out safely

      1. One of the best times I had living in dorms is when I walked into my friend’s room and was bombarded with “Quick, the floor’s lava!” and we proceeded to get our entire section of the building (about 6 rooms) to play – every time someone walked past our lounge, we’d make
        em hop across – foot stool, flattened beer case, chair, etc. We kept it up for a good 5 hours or so.

        1. I love this! I never thought about playing this game in college, but it sound way more fun to play this game as “flattened beer case, pile of unread text books, clothes on floor from embarrassing hook-up the prior night, pile of chicken wing bones your roommates left on the floor and never cleaned up, another beer case, one more beer case, etc.”

  7. Rivaled only by your dad killing the tarantula (at least it looked like that to me) lurking in the shower.

  9. …time machine back 40 years…

    Maybe if the Wicked Witch of the West doesn’t see me breathe she won’t know I’m hiding here under the covers.

    Wait! My big sister is finally coming to bed! We share a room and the Wicked Witch melts when she’s here. Awesome!!

  12. I never was afraid of monsters, but I’d sometimes play a game where once dad turned out the light and closed the doors, I would have to leap out of bed and collect all my stuffed animals scattered around the room and pick them up off the floor before I counted to 30-Mississippi, and just back into bed with them, otherwise evil bugs would take them and march them away deep underground.

    o_O I was a bit of a weird child.

  13. It’s close to midnight, and something evil’s lurking in the dark….:)
    I wasn’t afraid of monsters. I was afraid that evil clowns would come steal my favorite kitty stuffed animal, Pouncy.

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  20. Haha!! You do have a point!
    When I was a kid, squirrels and raccoons would creep me out at night, and my dad would give me an exasperated sigh. They weren’t as nice as you worded it, but it was still cute!!

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