When I was a little kid I dreaded walking through Perfume Alley at the front of the department store. Holding my mom or dad’s hand I’d squeeze my face real tight while walking past lipstick-smeared smilies standing in front of shiny glass-n-brass countertops holding tiny square Weapons of Mass Irritation.
Yes, I dreaded those long walks through Stink Jungle but they seemed necessary at the time. After all, sheets and toys and clothes for boys were all stationed behind those invisible clouds of strong smells and toddler migraines.
But in these days it’s different.
Click, click, you’re done. Click, click, that was fun. Click, click, back to reruns.
And when you turn off the computer, when you shut off that screen, when you put away your wallet, when you leave the machine — well, if you’re like me one thing happens immediately.
You completely forget about it.
So whether it’s new books or concert tickets or video games or cricket wickets, the point is that you forget it’s coming and you forget you bought it. This is the beauty of shopping in Your Own Smell, folks. Soon a day passes, then another, then another one passes, and then a package arrives…
And what a surprise!
In a cardboard disguise!
It’s a feast for the eyes!
That makes you scream to the skies!