#240 Being single

We see you, we hear you.

We see those movie endings and we hear those greeting cards. We know the cheesy quotes and we sing those ballads at bars. We feel those preaching choirs and we read those magazine tips. We feel our parents pushing and we hear your chatty lips.

Yes, we know having a boyfriend is great and we know it’s beautiful and kind. But all we’re saying today, and all we’re trying to prove, is that you don’t need a killer girlfriend to have a killer mood.

Let’s chat about ten winning ways to celebrate your solo days:

1. Some like it hot. When you’re on your own you’re the master of the tank and the chances of a random flush scalding your skin is pretty slim. You’re less likely to run out of hot water so just twist that dial and soak into the zone.

2. One set of parents. Sure, you lose out on some inlaw naps but you could gain back holiday budgets, extra bedrooms, and Saturday evenings. Note to any inlaws reading this: This entry is about other inlaws, not you.

3. Take back the night. When you’re bumping around by yourself there’s no need to worry about making too much noise early or late. Tiptoes, quiet TV watching, and softly shutting doors take a backseat to cranking tunes, late-night phone calls, and your big galoomping feet.

4. Don’t be an ass. Single folks have no obligation to do joint Halloween costumes like Beauty and the Beast or the classic two-person donkey. Because don’t we all feel a little bit sorry for that couple dressed as Salt and Pepper shakers leaving the party at 10pm?

5. Flirt like you mean it. Chitchatting with sparkly objects of your desire is good fun. When you’re single ditch the guilt and holler at the busty waitress or chiseled cop. Not only is it exciting, but you’re growing your social skills and constantly meeting new people.

6. Getting to know you. You’re the only you you’ve got. Born and blasted into the world you’re a baby brain who flies through life forming crackly connections with everyone you meet. But getting to know yourself through experiences and deep thoughts adds important shapes and smears to your identity.

7. Bargain basement holidays. Tap your wallet and smile next time you walk by a towering Valentine’s Day display of heart-filled chocolates and pink teddy bears.

8. You can get with this or you can get with that. Are you hungry at 11pm? Get a burger! Are you bored on a Saturday night? Hit the scene! Do you want to free up your busy weekend or busy up your free one? Well the choice is yours! You can get with this or you can get with that. I think you’ll get with this for this is where it’s at.

9. Own your bed, own your life. When you’re single the entire bed is yours and you can test a variety of Starfish poses, Chun-Li leg kick positions, or even the extremely bold diagonal sleeping. (Rarely done.)

10. Embrace your disgusting habits. Clipping your toenails in bed, napping in piles of dirty clothes, or chomping greasy handfuls of potato chips over the sink is fine, fine, fine. The mirror won’t judge you and neither will anybody else.

People, let’s hear it today for being single. Exploring the world, finding adventures, and scoping big scenes are hallmarks of being cool with being you. Because look — falling in love is great and falling in love is nice but that doesn’t mean going alone can’t also be sugar and spice. Good days and bad days, setting suns and shining stars, it’s all about perspective and focusing on who you are. Because if all you need is love, and all love needs is you, then it’s great to relax and enjoy… just being you with you.


Live in Boston? Come join The Awesome Movement at The Coop in Harvard Square this Sunday, May 22nd at 2pm! I’d love to meet you.

— Tweets —

RT @kegluskin My new favorite app is from @1000Awesome-great waking up to a new #awesome thing every day!!

RT @brettupton  @1000Awesome Have the new app on my iPod Touch and it rocks!

RT @k_wishart The app of awesome is well, #awesome! Yay for @1000Awesome and his awesomeness (so many awesomes in one tweet) :P

Photos from: here, here, here, here, and here

118 thoughts on “#240 Being single

  1. even though i am happily engaged …
    i can appreciate the awesomeness of this post :)
    but i wouldnt swap my fiancee for the world!

  2. Of course there are ups and downs to being single as well as being in a relationship, but you did a great job of highlighting the awesomeness of singlehood! I hate the mindset that being single is a terrible thing. Number six is a huge one … I know lots of people who bounce from relationship to relationship with zero downtime in between. They literally have no clue HOW to be single, and I think it’s a shame. There are obviously great things about it … most importantly, diagonal sleeping in a king size bed! ;)

    When I’m attached, there are definitely certain things I miss about being single. Of course, they’re usually balanced by something great about being with someone, but still. They are missed.

    Oh, P.S. I love the app, too. My favorite part is waiting to see what it will tell me when I give it the thumbs up. Cool bananas. ;)

    1. Totally agree about number 6! I sometimes wonder how certain friends of mine will ever find someone that will work, as they know so very little about themselves!

      On a different note, an 1000awesomething app?!?I want I want! Is there an android market one too?

      1. This is one of my favorite Awesome Things ever! #6 is a great one too. For all of those who would rather stay in a bad relationship than figure out who you are and what you want out of life, this is a must read! I know too many people who stay with someone who makes them miserable rather than face themselves alone in the mirror. And then when you do meet that special someone…you know who you are and what you are looking for. Great post!

  3. This is so nice to read. Made my not-so-great day a lot brighter! # 9 is the best. I love sprawling out in the middle of my bed and not having to worry about hogging the covers! Awesome post Neil. :)

  4. I’m going through a difficult time right now, and this helped! Thanks for helping me see the positive side.

  5. Hey, thanks for posting THIS ONE today! I’m approaching another birthday this weekend, and I’m totally not where I thought I’d be at this point in my life: married with a litter of kids. I totally love my life I’m pretty dang good at being single; it’s just nice NOT to hear “WHY aren’t you married yet?” every once in a while. :)

    1. I can relate to you, it’s like you are letting people down because you haven’t gotten hitched yet. And for some strange reason being single is such an awful state of affairs.

  6. Gosh yes, being single is awesome! No one to call when you’re running late, no one to huff and puff when you go on an impromptu road trip to see your parents and the whole bed is yours. The bed thing, that’s really important. I’d almost like to say that it’s the most important thing.

  7. Awesome Post Neil! I especially love how perfectly you capture the feeling of things in your words.

    Yes! dating is very nice, but being single can be as well. It’s all about perspective. For instance, being single is Awesomely Awesome! when you’re still moving around a lot, no worries on the long distance fronts :)

  8. What about when you are a teenager and are single.
    You pretty much have no freedom, are judged by peers at school, and stil have to live with a family.
    Ever wonder why teenagers have a bad attitude?

    1. Believe me, it will end sooner than you know it and one day you’ll wonder how it was so easy to forget being a teenager.

    2. You are actually going to miss those days. Enjoy being a teenager and try to make the best of it. Working, paying bills, going into debt, having a mean boss, putting gas in your car, buying your own groceries and not having any money isn’t all its cracked up to be.

    3. Teenage days will pass. I can honestly say, that I was one of those teenagers always in some sort of relationship, always hating where I lived (with my parents), and (at least felt like) I was always judged. Things change.

  9. I love being single, especially after just getting out of a long relationship I wasn’t happy in. I did nothing the other day, all by myself, and it was AWESOME. I love being able to do what I want, when I want, and how I want. Plus, getting to know yourself, and how you change and grow in life is something more people should be doing.

  10. …and at least there’s no question about who peed on the toilet seat!

    I just returned from a shamanic ceremony for some #6.
    I see and could say so much, but I’ve made promises I’ll keep.
    I am moved to share this, with a heart-felt blessing:
    I think Beyonce’s video release should be stopped.
    Re-released altered, to show love, respect, affection; harmony and accord toward one another.

    All due respect, Neil, typo or Fraudian slip:
    “Falling IS love.” Love is for self and transpersonally, for one and all, “Fumbling towards ecstasy.”

  11. I’m still waiting for my special someone, like many people, so it’s nice to have a reminder about how truly AWESOME being single can be!

    P.S. Thank you for replying to my email, Neil! I wasn’t expecting a response, so when I got one, I experienced a rather frantic train of thought: “OMGhe’scontactingmeit’slikeI’vemetacelebrityOMGOMGOMG!”

    So thanks for making my day even more awesome!!

  12. After going through a long and hard break up, I’m just now starting to get my life back and really enjoy the time I’m spending studying in London. I can very much relate to this post…who doesn’t need a reminder of the perks of being alone every once in a while? Thanks. :)

  13. Even though I’m newly single, this helps me see the brighter side of things, when everything else seems so dark. I love this blog

  14. Even though I’ve been married 20 years to a wonderful man, there are still days, weeks and months when I look back longingly on my single days. Let me add a few more:

    #11: You can move to a different city, state or country if you want.
    #12: No rushing around on Christmas so no one’s feelings are hurt.
    #13: The piece of cake you were thinking about is still there when you open the fridge.
    #14: You only have to worry about your own laundry, dishes and errands.
    #15: You will never sleep better than you do now. (No snoring to shake the walls, no one hogging the covers and you can make the bedroom as cold or warm as you like.)
    #16: The remote is all yours.
    #17: You can spend your money however you want.
    #18: In laws
    #19: The excitement of first kisses.
    #20: Renting the movie that you want.
    #21: No one will judge you if you want to watch a Jersey Shore marathon.
    …I could go on but my husband and kids are asking me what’s for dinner.

    1. I especially like number 13! Oh, and 19 as well ;-)
      Even though I would not give up my love for the world, of course!

      1. #13: The piece of cake you were thinking about is still there when you open the fridge.

        That says it all.

    1. same here…in fact, yesterday, i was just thinking about how happy i am being single…there’s a LOT of awesomeness to it!!

  15. I love my husband and my kids and I wouldn’t change them for anything in the world, but yeah…sometimes, I wish I could at least go shopping by myself FOR myself and not have to worry about what time I have to be home. Oh, and sleeping in….I REALLY miss sleeping in.

  16. Yes, being single is awesome!!! I love having the bathroom all to myself. No one walking in when you are trying to shave. Also cooking what I like – veggie meals.

  17. I’m not even kidding, the best thing about being single is you get to develop a relationship with YOURSELF. Some people spend time alone and isolate so they don’t have to spend time with others, some people spend time with others so they don’t have to spend time with themselves…

    1. And both are okay – people typically enjoy hanging out with social people. It takes all sorts of people to make up a world. How boring if we were all the same.

  18. Being in love can bolster you, it can give you courage and the most happiness you’ve felt in your life–but being single gives you freedom, and that can be an amazing feeling too.

  19. A lot of these people can still do while in a relationship if they have a laid-back partner. I think kids are what tend to take away freedom moreso than a relationship.

    I do get sad sometimes knowing that I will never fall in love again with someone new or have that first kiss, but I’ll also never go to high school or college again even if it’d be rad to see what it’s like knowing what I know now.

    1. “Knowing what I know now”
      If only I would have listened to my grandparents when I was a teen when they kept telling me that whatever was bothering me wasn’t going to matter in a couple of days. Yeah, being dumped by that guy I only dated 3 months seemed like the end of the world and not being allowed to go to the movies with my friends was the worst thing ever in high school, but yes, if I knew then what I knew now, it wouldn’t have bothered me a bit.

    2. “I do get sad sometimes knowing that I will never fall in love again with someone new or have that first kiss”

      Ever consider polyamory? :)

  20. This post is very true! Our society is like a cult of couple-hood, but being single is awesome in so many ways. LOL, “This entry is about other in-laws, not you.”

    I am also reminded of the lovely poem “How to Be Alone” by Tanya Davis, that was made into a film by Andrea Dorfman. It’s on Youtube, of course. It speaks to those adjusting to being newly alone, but has deep truths that people in all stages of life and relationships can learn from. eg “resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone” and “if you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed”.

    1. I finally looked up that poem and it’s awesome and soo very very true. I’m forwarding it to everyone!

      I think I spent most of high school desperately avoiding being alone and most of college trying desperately to find any alone time at all :)

  21. Great post. Made me feel better about being single. When I’m feeling down because all my close friends are engaged, dating or getting married, I’m going to refer back to this post! Thanks!!

  22. I always felt like love is overrated… or at least love for the so-called “one” is. There’s so much beauty in the world that can be enjoyed by yourself! So love your family, love your friends, love nature, love your job, love your surroundings, love those 1000 awesome things this blog is about, and even more than that, because 1000 is not a big enough number for all the joy that can be felt. Sharing it with someone else is nice of course, but before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy on your own, otherwise it’s not true happiness! The problem is our society floods us with so many songs, images, movies, etc about love, that sometimes it’s easy to forget that we’re all individual people. I’m a separate whole and not someone else’s half and this will never change, even when I’m in a relationship :)

    1. “I’m a separate whole and not someone else’s half.”

      This is going into my book of quotes.

  23. I was feeling a bit down today. I’m in love with someone I can’t have. And I’m totally jealous of my sister and her boyfriend, always being all lovey-dovey. But I guess being single does have its advantages… I wouldn’t want to give up my independence :]

  24. I LOVE THIS!!!!

    I am happily single but I have a decent number of friends who have just gotten out of relationships. The transition is hard but it really is AWESOME to remember the things that make being single a great time. I have forwarded todays post to a bunch of people who will enjoy seeing the positive side of things. Thanks for the post. Made my day :)

  25. I’ll say it again, single is Awesome, it’s also super cool when that special person understands that your family, friends and acquaintances are very important to you too. It’s all love! :p

  26. Thanks. I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, and it’s been tough. So catching up on my recent awesome things, I stumble upon this one. Really helped me a lot. :)

  27. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I just got out of a divorce earlier this year. And I was embracing being single, then I just went through a stage where I didn’t want to be. This post just reaffirmed me wanting to be single! Thank you for making my day and making me see how awesome being single can be! :)

  28. I have been a single mom for eight years. I come under a lot of pressure from family to start dating and get married again. #6 is so true! I was one of those people that could never be alone, but after my husband disappeared in the middle of pregnancy #2, I was forced to confront my fears of being alone. Now, I truly enjoy being an island unto myself. Sure, it would be nice to have a grown up partner to share life’s big and small moments, but on the whole single life is AWESOME.

  29. What a great post! And, it came at the right time for me. It’s totally positive and something that you should remind yourself of all the time. I wrote a book that I think you’d all love called “365 Reasons Why I’m Still Single.” It’s a lighthearted and fun take on being single…and a reason for every day of the year. Makes a great gift for you or your single friends. Check it out on Amazon or be a fan on Facebook (or both!) http://amzn.to/efDMiC

  30. Gotta say, after 10 years of marriage, I am finally enjoying the single life again. I particularly love your reference to diagonal sleeping. My Favourite. Awesome!

  31. Once the children are independent teens, and u accept your situation as a single free Parent, (Truely accept your situation ,……and proud)…….The Party has just begun……Start a new business, surf, explore…………
    …..Thats for us who are in the best of our manhood, and a inspiration to others…….faa!
    ,,,OOPs , and Women, as Great as they are…”GoDDeSSes!!!!!!!!
    …..Not the main concern………..Pero……as Friends si.

  32. Hilarious- and so stinking true! This one’s gotta be my favorite Awesome Thing.

  33. Thank you very much for making my day. Had a recent break-up and this really helped change my outlook on life.

  34. This is one of my all-time favorites. Shared it with so many who need a different and fun perspective on being single. Thanks Neil!

  35. O comon, everything has its advantages and disadvantages. Being single is great but it gets lonely. And sometimes being in a relationship gets too pissy. But its all good. I think the article was intended to make all the single people try to find happiness in their new single lives without the hang over after a breakup. But i totally disagree with the flirting around like you mean it, just not classy to throw yourself around. I guess every ones entitled to their own opinion. Happy singling!

  36. Honestly, I was deeply entrenched in thought about getting back with my girlfriend whom I love and it was really hard to break it off. But this was just what I needed to read to get a level head that I might just survive with the way things are.

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