#645 Hilarious last minute Halloween costumes

halloween_pumpkinBack at college, I remember walking up to my friend Mike’s house on Halloween and seeing him frantically painting bright, red briefs onto a pair of nice blue jeans. He was really going at it, too — slapping the wet brush all over the crotch  and pockets, wagging his tongue out like a dog.

Of course, an hour later he showed up to the party as Superman. And though he didn’t leap any tall buildings in a single bound he did manage to drink most of the punch bowl faster than a speeding bullet.

More importantly, his last minute Halloween costume got us all laughing. Some of the best ones do that:

• Professional baseball player. This is where you dig through your closet and peel out that old sweat-smelling jersey and orange foam hat from little league. Throw on your baseball glove and paint some thick black lines under your eyes and you’re good to go.

Sandwich. My friend Brian once slapped a piece of bread on his chest and another on his back and went as a sandwich. You’ve heard of a quarter pounder, right? Well this was a two-hundred pounder.

vending machineVending Machine. Here’s where you duct tape little bags of chips and chocolate bars all over your body. If your party’s working properly, they’ll be ripped off you within ten minutes of getting there.

The random closet mish-mash with a funny name. You’ve got a purple tie, dark shades, and leather pants so you go as a Club-Going Comedian With A Black Eye. You’ve got a bridesmaid dress, oven mitts, and a tiara, so you go as Lounge Singer Baking Cookies For A Bachelorette Party. You get the idea.

• Jabba The Hutt. Time to laze around on the couch in a green sleeping bag.

• A Road. Simply rip off a long strip of masking tape and stick it up your stomach and down your back. For bonus points, add a couple dinky cars to your shirt. Watch out for speed bump jokes.

bad record collectionA Terrible Record Collection. My friend Alec once bought a milk crate of old records for a quarter from a garage sale. They were in horrible condition, but the price was right so he took them home. For Halloween he safety-pinned most of them on himself and went as A Terrible Record Collection. It was a good laugh, but since he couldn’t really move he ending up spending most of the party whisper-singing Monster Mash to himself on a futon.

Grapes. Boy, if you’ve got some purple or green balloons laying around, have we got a costume for you.

Yourself. This is where you arrive at the party completely unprepared, but rather than fess up you just tell people you’re going as yourself this year. Then whenever someone says “But that’s not a costume,” you say “Maybe it is…” and give them a really exaggerated wink.

Stuff From My trunk. Okay, back to Superman Mike. Last year he wore an enormous tarp around his neck like a cape and wrapped himself in twine and booster cables. People, keep in mind this is the same guy who once strung a bunch of pots and pans over his shoulders and went as Pots and Pans.

Okay listen, when somebody puts an amazing amount of time and effort into a kick-ass costume, that’s worth celebrating. Nobody here denies that. All we’re saying today is if you manage to scramble around your house at the last minute and get us all laughing with your hilariously creative costume then that’s complete admirable.

It’s simply commendable.

It’s downright respectable.

And we all know it’s just totally


jabba the huttPhotos from: here, here, here, and here

91 thoughts on “#645 Hilarious last minute Halloween costumes

  1. my friend found this old wig in her attic and cut it up and used eyelash glue to stick it al over herself and then put on a pink wig and a ho outfit
    she was a hairy stripper…
    it gets even better though
    i dug out my dad’s star trek uniform shirt taped up my glasses anp pulled my socks up to my knees
    i was obviously a nerd everytime we went to a new house we’d start making out

  2. This year, I went as a person who woke up from a year-long coma. but no one asked me what my costume was :(

  3. Hahahaha, these are pretty great. My little sister went as a taco this year. She had little kids coming up to her asking my mom if they could hug the taco. It was pretty funny (:

  4. lol, my brother was super lazy this year: he grabbed a quarter, brought a giant foam hammer, and when asked what the heck he was, he placed the quarter on the ground, smacked it with the hammer, and proudly proclaimed “I’m a quarter pounder!”

  5. Stick person! dark clothing of one color, masking tape those clothes as if you are a very large stick person. If you’re lucky a ski mask could add to it so you could have the face too.

  6. had a friend who wrapped themselves in tin foil, stuck some green onions sticking out in random places..

  7. Best Lazy costume of all time.
    Dress normal but carry a bunch of keys.
    Get smashed and call yourself the Designated Driver.

  8. A great last minute costume-

    Pull on some PJs, wear a sleeping mask on your forehead, and use a pillowcase for a bag.

    BAM! You’re a sleep-walker.

    Extra points for using makeup to make you look pale, dark eye circles, and bed head :)

  9. How’s this one…
    A wolves mask, a red cloak and a basket of goodies.
    Little Red Riding-Hood, halfway down.
    I wish I had this info. when I was raising my children.
    I will be passing it on for their children and to friends for sure!

  10. My favorite (this happened long before we knew about this blog):

    My friend found a random zebra print body suit that she wore with sunglasses and a red boa. When people asked he what she was, she just said, “Awesome.”

  11. Srečno novo leto! How did that end up here :D An awsome thing – when you find a random picture of a record on 1000 awsome things and realise that it’s from your country!

  12. One time I went as a pile of dirty laundry. I safety pinned a ton of wrinkled up clothes on me and wore some extra clothes put on wrong. It was actually really convincing when I crouched down

  13. One time my brother was planning on being Wolverine, but he decided to do something else at the last minute and I had no costume so I just stole his mask and put butterknives between my fingers.

  14. One time I went as a Deviled Egg, You wear any devil costume and buy white large felt shape like a broken egg, and put yellow felt in the middle.

  15. Another time I put plastic bags all over me and was a bag lady. Then another time I pinned garbage to me and was white trash.

  16. One year I went as a studfinder. Cut out a box for my head and arms. glued red flashing lights down the front of it and then used my cell phone to make beeping noises when I approached any hot guys. It mad for a really fun night.

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