#534 Catching food in your mouth

Neil Pasricha

Toss it mean and catch it clean.

Drop that jaw, tilt that head, and let’s get down to business:

• Level 1: Pop Practice. It’s important to start small with popcorn. There are no penalties for misses here, since the corn is light and doesn’t collect much dust if it hits the ground. This is a baby step and it will take time to master, but it’s an important rite of passage before hitting the next levels. (Note: In some circles, this level also covers marshmallows, Cheerios, and Corn Pops.) 5 points.

• Level 2: The Grape Beyond. Yup, next step is big ol’ grapes. Usually someone on the other end of the movie couch is munching on the vine in their own little bowl. If you’re feeling a bit hungry, simply drop your mouth and tap the couch cushion while saying ‘Uhn! Uhnnnnn!’ to get their attention. Soon a cold, hard grape should be flying fast at you. If the toss is good you should catch it perfectly. Other fruits like raspberries and strawberries fit here as well. 10 points.

• Level 3: Dog On A Bone. This extremely advanced move involves catching something larger than your actual mouth. An apple, peeled orange, or corn on a cob are good targets. You need to time the molar chomp perfectly and be prepared for embarrassing T-shirt stains and a black eye. 25 points.

Yes, when you catch food in your mouth you’re suddenly sitting high on top of the snack-eating universe. You’ve just combined equal parts laziness and athletic ability in a daring couch potato feat the likes of which this family room has never seen before. So when you nail it smoothly you know what to do.

Chomp it loud.

Chew it proud.

AWESOME!

Photos from: here, here, and here

1,494 thoughts to “#534 Catching food in your mouth”

  1. Mine isn’t that great, but I like when this happens and it’s all I can think of at the moment:

    When you find a wholly intact full chip at the bottom of a chip bag :D (Especially when there’s just enough dip left for it)

    1. I think thats awesome. The crushed and half-broken are good, but disappointing at the same time. Finding an intact chip at the bottom is like finding an angel in a world full of demons.

  3. Finally seeing the place where your parent grew up. (Especially difficult when you’re a first-generation American!) You get the chance to see if he really *did* walk to school uphill both ways. (Actually, there was a fairly large hill in the middle of the route between their house and the school, so he did! It’s been proven that it wasn’t barefoot in the snow, though.)

    It’s just AWESOME having heard stories for 20+ years about life in the “old country” and then finally getting the opportunity to walk around there with him and put places and faces to the stories. Definitely an incredible experience I’ll never forget!

  4. Flying a kite.

    There something about the simple joy of seeing your kite soaring in the wind that is simply awesome!

  5. People complimenting you on a day you think you look like crap.

    They might be lying and saying it to make you feel better…but who cares? It feels great, gives you confidence, and stops you from worrying about instead of concentrating on the other stuff.

  7. Cows.

    What’s NOT to like? they have spots, make a funny noise, need three stomachs, and they weight like 1400lbs.

    On another note, I think it’s funny when people draw cows as guys…

    1. Those California Cow commercials are especially AWESOME. They make my giggle every time one comes on.

    2. Moo! A bunch of random boys in my class like to chant this:

      I’m a cow, hear me moo
      I weigh twice as much as you

      Milk, cheese, cream and butter
      All these products from my udder

      I think it goes on from there but usually the teacher shushes them at that point.

  8. Making up your own way to curse without actually doing it.
    When someone won’t stop running their mouth~ “Shut the front door!!”
    My daughters favorite that I say~ “Piece of monkey crap on a biscuit”
    My hubby’s fav. ~”Mother Hubbard”

    1. That makes me think of the Orbit gum commercials …

      “What the French, toast?”

    1. Only awesome when you listen and do what your future self says. Don’t laugh at them like they are crazy and then go about your daily routine.

  10. finding a good song on your mp3-player you not even knew it was on it by the “random song”-button

    quite awesome

  11. Ya know what rules? Freezing stuff.

    Examples include:
    *The second buy-one-get-one-free kielbasa link (I love me some kielbasa, but come on)
    *Orange juice in ice cube containers with popsicle sticks sticking out (a childhood staple)
    *Candy – including, but certainly not limited to: Snickers, Reese’s, Milky Way – just some faves. In fact, I just stuck the whole bag in the freezer when I got home from Easter. Frozen Peeps, anyone?? Verdict: TBD.
    *Tall glass of milk or water until only a hint of ice chunks develop. I know 1000AT loves them some ice chunks in their drink.

    That’s what’s filling up my freezer right now. Other things I’ve seen: omnipresent rolls and bread; mom’s pasta sauce (no one’s like hers); staple snacks like Pizza Rolls, Bagel Bites (any variation of pizza really), Drumsticks, popcorn chicken, etc..

    Love my freezer!

    2. My old roommate swears that frozen Twinkies are heavenly. I have never tried it, though :)

    3. I like to freeze my soda, but not completely…just enough to make is slushy.

      I like to put Kool-Aid in ice cube trays. Everyone in the house loves them and its a fun activity for my daughter to do.

  12. It is pretty AWESOME when you find someone that has the same cute little quirk as you do. I am lucky enough to have a best friend that has the same anal need for balance and symmetry in everything I do.

    I am still waiting to find someone who won’t step on a crack (lest I break my mothers back) and all the other quirks I harbor. But it will be totally AWESOME when I find them!

  13. I think it’s AWESOME when I pull just the right amount of hangers to put all my shirts away with. When it happens I don’t have to go find more hangers or put back the excess ones!

  14. Saturdays at Costco are AWESOME because you get to try all the samples they have out and then you don’t really need to eat lunch! Of course, if you do still need to eat you can head over to the snack bar and get some of their delicous pizza (which in and of itself is totally AWESOME).

    1. We only have a Sam’s Club, but it’s about the same deal (though I’ve heard from reliable sources that Costco is way better). And you’re soooo right … if the samples didn’t satiate your hunger, feel free to wander over to the food court and pay under two dollars for pizza or a hot dog!

  16. Making all the green lights on your way to get to the freeway – especially when you are running late.

    AWESOME

  18. It is truly awesome when you learn that the new guy you like knows the difference between you’re and your. It’s more rare than you think!

  19. Areacodes

    When you’re out and a cute stranger asks you for your number, those first three digits are the first clue about you. North, south, east or west. Made even cooler when it’s famous like 917 or 3oh!3. Also applies to zipcodes. 90210? AWESOME!

  20. Awesome = sitting in your THIRD TO LAST class of your whole life … And commenting on 1000 Awesome Things via your phone.

    Ok ok so I get that this isn’t universal enough to make the cut for the contest, but halle-freakin-lujah for me!

        1. Cute!
          Although I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was sorta hoping for a RickRoll there…

  22. Getting to work late only to find that everyone else is running later than you. No one needs to know how late you were, or even that you were late at all! Awesome!

  23. The first night it’s warm enough to sleep with your window open. Breathing in that night air, and feeling full to the brim. Sleeping like a rock, and waking up to birds chirping and the sun peeking in behind your blinds, coaxing you out of bed.
    Awesome.

  24. p.s. I’m posting another comment because I want to increase my chances of getting this. AWESOME. book.
    (apologies for being slightly annoying. heh.)

  26. That feeling you get after finishing working out. Feels like relief, greatness..and sweat.

    1. Best friends are awesome. They know who you truely are, knows all your secrets and your quirks, but loves you anyway.

        1. LOL…… yes, and they forget your birthday but then we get to tease them about it!

  29. – casual Friday’s !

    – wearing an item of clothing that belongs to someone you love (I like to wear my husband’s sweatshirts, it’s like having a piece of him I can carry around all day even when we’re apart)

    – quitting something you hate – feels like freedom!

  30. “National Discount Chocolate Day”

    Bear with me folks…I’m referring to those OTHER holidays. You know, like the day after Easter, or the day after Valentine’s Day, or the day after Halloween. When all the chocolate is delightfully 50% off and you can stock up to your hearts content without breaking your wallet.

  31. Connecting the dots with your freckles!

    I have these two right beside each other on my hand that are almost identical. Usually I draw a happy smile underneath them and every time I look at my hand, I’m reminded to be happy!

    1. I have five on my left arm, and they’re arranged perfectly to connect them and make a star! Awesome. :)

  33. That feeling you get when you find something that you have been looking for forever.

  35. That one song that gives you goosebumps.

    You know the one. You’re sifting through all your mediocre, boring, generic music, and then you stumble across your “song soulmate”. From the very first note, you get a big chill and you’re entranced. It fills you up and puts a big goofy grin on your face. You feel like you’re on top of a mountain, looking down over the world. You feel invincible, all from this little musical treasure.

    ..AWESOME!!

  36. Getting a pet.

    Wether it’s a goldfish, hamster, puppy, bird, or whatever tickles your fancy. You wander around the pet store, desolate and lonely. But suddently, you lock eyes with that poor little animal and you know it’s meant to be. All you want to do in those first moments with your new pal is pamper them and make them the most spoiled little creature in the animal kingdom.

    ..AWESOME!!

    1. LOL. I SO spoil my pets, even my Betta fish. It started in a bowl but I kept feeling sorry for it, and now it’s the queen of it’s own little world, large space, castle and all!

  37. Exchanging smiles with a stranger passing you on the street.

    You just get that fuzzy feeling inside.

  39. When you fill a container perfectly.

    Dinner’s done, and it’s time to start cleaning up. There’s some stew leftover in the pot, and you’re going to need a container for this. That’s when your brain fires up and starts calculating. It’s too much for the square red tupperware. The round green one is overkill. Maybe the one with the purple lid? No, wait—the rectangular orange one. You pull it out of the cabinet, and eye it. It could be perfect, or it could be slightly off, but you’re feeling bold tonight. You pour, and it rises in the container… and, in perfect harmony, the pot empties and the container fills. You scrape the bottom to get the last dribbles, and that puts it right at the brim. The lid goes on cleanly.

    Similarly: When you have some files you need to burn on a CD, and it fills all 700 MB without going over.

    1. I had a penpal back in high school. I can’t recall how we got to be penpals, though. He lived a few 1,000 miles away and I wrote to him, then he joined the army and went to boot camp. We still wrote each other. Then he went over to Iraq and we lost contact and I was so worried. A few years later it occurs to me that basically everyone in the world has a facebook or myspace but me so I had my bff look him up on facebook….and she found him. Wrote back and forth for 3 years, lost him for 5 years and then found him. He is now my textpal.

  41. Peeling an orange to find the extra baby pieces between the main pieces. They always seem to taste better.

    Awesome!

  42. Taking the shortest shower you ever took in your life! This happens when everyone is waiting on you, and you need to be out the door in less than five or ten minutes. When you get there in time, you feel like you’ve made a genuine accomplishment.

    1. This made me laugh, thinking of my freshman year in the dorms. We always teased one of my friends for taking really long showers and taking forever to get ready. One evening, a few friends and I were hanging out in her room and she decided she wanted to shower before we went out to eat. Of course, we all grunted and groaned, knowing that this would delay our dinner plans by over an hour. We sat around talking for – I kid you not – less than two minutes, when she came bursting back into her room (from the community-style showers down the hall). She was sopping wet, her loofah was still soapy, and she was slipping all around in her shower shoes. She was absolutely GRINNING, realizing her triumph. It was awesome.

  43. DVD boxes are awesome — as they are packed with a full season of your old favourite tv-serie.

    Or maybe even better : your new favorite tv-serie that you didn’t start watching until at season 3 or so .. and now you can fill in the past seasons, too — thank’s to the DVD boxes!

  44. going from one event to another without those awkward few waiting minutes in between.

  45. Pulling a team together in the morning to go to that game that everyone including the coach forgot about and actually making it there on time to win.

  46. Card keys for gated community pools: because you feel like a cia member when you get to use one

  47. When you go to a restaurant in the early afternoon and want something from the breakfast menu and you see that you actually made it on time for breakfast without planning ahead.

  49. I’m saying this one again: Checking 1000awesomethings.com before bed and seeing that tomorrow’s Awesome Thing has already been posted. It’s 12:16 am here and that just happened to me and it’s so nice! You get an extra Awesome Thing to appreciate and make you smile before you turn out the lamp. Thanks Neil! :)

  50. Checking something off on your to-do list. Makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something.

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